For the longest time I swapped sad stories about my Mom and her passing. If I shared she passed, the convo wasn't an up-beat discussion but me sharing my depression and grief. I wrote about this before, I know, but I wanted to share a little gem that relates to that.
I was sitting at a poker table one fine afternoon and because it was a new table, several of the players knew each other because they signed up at the same time. Turns out it was a mother, daughter, son, and family friend.
As we all sat for a while, eventually convo starts up and the mother shares that her Mom had just recently passed away a few months ago. I replied with my, "I am so sorry" in a certain tone that only those who have lost someone recognize it's the tone of understanding and "I've been through that too,"
Her response completely took me off guard. After only a few months, she was still kinda in a good frame of mind and mood, and she didn't seem distraught like I was, and it had been 3 years for me since my Mom passed!
She whisked me right under her leadership wing with her words and shared, "oh, Honey, she lived a great life," not skipping a beat to let me know all was okay and that her passing wasn't an impediment in her life.
Turns out she passed away in her 90s and had a big family and didn't pass away from trauma.
I reflect on that moment, even to this day, and that was over a year ago she shared those kind, inspiring words about her Mom. Why can't I speak like that?
I do admit that my grief has lifted and I can now talk about my Mom with a gleam in my eyes (instead of tears and frowns), but if I could have done that during the 3-4 years after her passing, maybe that would have helped me heal faster....?
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