I was taught by example. So, I learned that if I asked for help, it meant I was weak.
At work, I finally realized that asking for help is part of being a team player and not micromanaging.
However, in my personal life, I still have major issues with it.
My Mom was the same way.
When people offer to help and they help, I embrace it with such love and joy, because I get so surprised when people want to help unconditionally.
I remember about 4 years ago I had to ask a friend for help. I needed him to install some "adult living" things in the house for my Mom - stable handle bars, steps for the bathtub, remove wire from the floor and put in the walls, etc.
As I asked for help on the phone, I cried and cried. The guy on the other end was so confused. But it literally pained me to have to ask for help. I will never forget the feelings I had as tears literally rain down my face as I asked for his help,
And right now, I need help. And I have to ask for it. And I'm not getting it.
I think it's pretty freaking pathetic I have to ask for this help in the first place. But I broke down; I asked for help. All yet, I don't feel like I'm getting the support I need.
I'm on my own.
As usual.
I'm strong, but I still need help.
Strong heart, but weak in some areas.
Human.
And humans need help, too.
