Hurt Quote

"Hurt is often mistaken for anger. 85% of the time, a person isn't actually mad at you but instead, disappointed..."

Death Should be Given Attention Too

"We have to prepare ourselves for our death with the same care and attention as our parents prepared themselves for our births."

"In our culture, which in so many ways is death oriented, we find little if any creative support for preparing ourselves for a good death.  Most people presume that our only desire is to live longer on this earth.  "

I thought these were well-stated comments about death, from henrinouwen.org

What did you Gain? Weight or Other Things?

I really love this blog entry one of my friends shared:

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/    
(PLEASE take a quick moment to read it)

It reminds me of another from my good friend Rachel along the same lines, where she was worried about the size of her thighs, and then noticed a a homeless man on the streets.  Puts things into perspective.

Beautiful Relationships

I have heard my whole life, you should be with someone who complements you and brings out the best in you.

Until that happens, you have no idea just how absolutely beautiful that really is.

And how awesome it feels.

To be told "you bring out the best in me" and at the same time to see that someone wants to ONLY bring out the positive side of myself, is one of the most beautiful things I have experienced.

And it's not just being NOT around negative people.

It's about surrounding yourself with supportive people, encouraging people, people that do not WANT to hurt you, ever.

To be in a relationship where we each complement each other is truly amazing and I'm at a loss for words how to even describe it or why it's so awesome.  I guess because we each feel special; because we bring out the best in each other.  I mean seriously, HOW COOL IS THAT?

Enjoying life together.
Wanting to be together.
Supporting each other.
Recognizing each others' attributes and bringing them out.

If you are lucky enough to find someone who complements you, and you them, then you are very blessed!

I have this now.  And it is AMAZING.  Waited my whole life for this, and it was well worth the wait.  :)

Honoring Fallen Soldier

I would have been bawling!

Heck, I cried just reading about it.

Flight turns unforgettable when passengers learn of fallen soldier:

http://travel.yahoo.com/ideas/fallen-soldier-213011521.html

 

 

What you see is not what is going on.

My girlfriend posted this for me.  Thought I'd share.  This is a good reminder for a lot of us:


For whomever needs this today: 

Just something to think about...

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? 

Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? 

Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most?  (me, me)

Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me. 

Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. 

Not Orphaned

I mentioned to someone a few months back that the first two years after my Mom's death (in 2011) was pretty tough on me.

This person already knew I also lost my Dad in 2007.

They proceed to tell me, "I feel so bad for you you lost both of your parents.  You must feel like an orphan!"  And then she hugged me, almost in tears.

I just stood there receiving the hug, then quickly left.

I do NOT feel like an orphan!  I am NOT an orphan.

Who thinks like that?

Gratitude Journal - Secret to Happiness?

I started one.  I sometimes jot down 5 things about my day for what I am grateful for.  It's not a habit yet, but I do enjoy being grateful - helps even on the darkest of days.  And makes good days even better.


"The Shocking Truth About YOUR Level of Happiness:"
http://wendykeller.com/featured/the-shocking-truth-about-your-level-of-happiness/

I would LOVE to really make this a habit!

Oprah has talked about how powerful gratitude journals are.  And I believe it, also.  Here is another short article from Oprah with more reason why it helps:  Click Here.

Breath Quote

 

You would think this is a beautiful quote.  Well, it probably is to a lot of people.  But to me, I despise it.

When you see a loved one suffer and then pass away from advanced emphysema (which basically means they are constantly out of breath and can't breathe), then these type of quotes actually upset me.

Wearing an oxygen line on your face 24 hours a day, having to sleep upright (because you can't sleep flat), having to only be in cold temps (because hot weather makes breathing very difficult), can't walk the length of a room in a house without having to stop and try to catch your breath while finding something to lean on while gasping, constantly having to take "breathing treatments," never being able to take deep breaths or even laugh long.....  Yea, it's not a very "beautiful" quote to me.

I'd rather my Mom had been able to breathe than any moment that took my breath away.

Call me selfish.

I Am Who I Am

You know, I'd like to think that this is true, but lately, I only apologize for who I am. 

I tried to make changes, I did!  No one else did.

I apologized for being the way I am; no one else did.

I am who I am, tho.

• People confuse curiosity for jealousy; 
• Confuse worrying about their safety to having to "check in;" 
• Confuse wishing others care about your whereabouts for being too needy;
• Confuse worrying late at night because of drunk drivers for being a bitch;
• Confused wishing for contact and communication to being smothering.

I am who I am.

I can't help the way I was brought up; the way I truly am.  I feel so badly that the way I am pushes people away.  But I'm not given any slack for being me.  I'm only being beaten up mentally and emotionally for being, well, Me.

I don't think it's right to lose self esteem because I can't change who I am.  And ironically, I worked on myself!

But I guess it wasn't enough.

I am the way I am because of the way I was raised; because of what I saw with my eyes my entire life.

I tried to change.  More than I ever did before!

And I asked for help, even.  But I wasn't given help.  Instead, I was ridiculed, and people just got upset with me for how I acted instead of helping and understanding.   :(

I am not suppose to apologize for who I am, but when people don't love you because of the way you are, what are you suppose to do with that information?

My self esteem is SHOT.

And I freaking hate it that this has happened.

I am a decent human being with some issues, but I don't think I should be punished for the way I am.  I can't help it; and I even tried and improved!

Instead, it gets thrown in my face of all the "bad" things this person thinks I am.  Really?  Can't remember the good times?  Can't remember the fun times? 

I'm shattered by your words and actions....

Another Celebtriy House

I shared below how I loved Brittany Spears new house that was showcased.  I found another!

Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's Los Angeles home:

I love the soft colors and the bright rooms!

Nice colors.

Beautiful and bright!

Love this bathroom and shower!

 

Is that a moat?  Wow!

Addiction

I'm not expert, but I have seen this, and I think for the most part, it's true without help:

Addiction to drugs, alcohol, food is so much stronger than addiction to love.

If someone chooses doing those over loving you, realize it's the drug of choice winning the fight for your attention.  They still love you, love is strong (yes!), but that addiction can be more powerful.

I'm not saying it's right or that this make your heart hurt less; but, it's just the way it is most of the time.

So, don't take it personal.  You did all you can; it's not you!  It's the addiction to the other stuff that is controlling them.

If you are lucky enough to have someone feel this way about you, or feel about them, like this song resonates, you are lucky/blessed:  Addicted to a person.

Because of You, by Ne-Yo

"Because Of You"

[Verse 1:]
Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

Ain’t no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you

Because of you,
And it’s all because of you,
Never get enough
She’s the sweetest drug, she’s the sweetest drug

True Love

I have always heard that people who are truly in love, they don't want to live without their soul mate, and sometimes they pass away shortly after they have lost a loved one.

But this story, is even more beautiful:

Harold and Ruth Knapke, Married 65 Years, Die 11 Hours Apart:

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/harold-ruth-knapke-married-65-years-die-11-184517152.html

One Woman Show

One of my bucket-list items is to see Oprah in person at one of her tapings.  With The Oprah Show now gone, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance.

Well, hello Life Class!

Oprah is coming to the Dallas-area for a taping of one of her LifeClasses. 

I was all excited, might finally get to a taping with Ms. O!

Then I saw the subject:  "Bringing Families Together."

Specifically, Is too much dram destroying your family?  Are you disconnected from your family?

Well, nix that.  I don't have a family.

Oh Fonda...

My Dad used to talk very ill towards Ms. Fonda.  Seems like he's not the only one who didn't like her antics and arm waving back about the Vietnam War:

Kentucky theater won't show 'Butler' because of Jane Fonda: 

http://movies.yahoo.com/news/ky-theater-wont-show-butler-because-fonda-172945734.html

"So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playing workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda"

Relationships Reminder

Sometimes we need this reminder, so that we enjoy our relationships!  :)

You're in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories. Not to constantly be upset, hurting, and crying.

 

 

Sad Songs, Wrong Time

One of the things that slapped me in the face after my Mom passed away was people wanted me to listen to slow, sad songs.

I have to tell you, the last thing I wanted to do was listen to a song that would make me cry.

I was already a complete mess, the last thing I wanted to do was hear songs that would make me bawl like a baby.

When my friends prepared my Mom's Celebration of Life at a local restaurant I frequented, I was walking around looking at all the things they had prepared.  It was beautiful, and the set up and planning was extremely moving to me.  I was impressed and I know my Mom would have been very grateful.

I also walked by the "karaoke" area (I was very familiar with the interface of the music) - and I noticed the songs that were already set up to be played next in line.  While I don't remember them all, I remember that the 5 songs were all super sappy songs, and I deleted them right away and instead went through the long list to choose "happier, fun" songs to be played in the background.

For instance, one song listed on the monitor I REALLY knew I didn't want to hear and it was "Winds Beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler.  Heck, this song makes me cry every time I heard it when I wasn't grieving, so to hear it this day would have prolly killed me.  I deleted it immediately. 

A few friends recommended I listen to some songs in the months after my Mom's passing and I never listened to them.  I don't WANT to hear songs that make me cry; I cry enough on my own.  It's already so brutal, and hearing sad songs makes it worse quite frankly.

I don't know if everyone who loses someone close feels this way, but I learned the hard way I can't handle sappy songs that remind me about losing my Mom.

Granted, even the songs my Mom loved make me cry.  She loved Amy Whinehouse, so I can't hear any of those songs.  There is one song that makes me SMILE from ear to ear, and that's "Just Fine" by Mary J. Blige.  I can remember my Mom dancing by herself so gleefully with happiness when that song came on - she loved that song and it just made her want to dance!

But please don't make me listen to sad songs. 

Extremely Touching Words from Dustin Hoffman

I see things all the time on Pinterest and Facebook.

Click.  Read.

or

Click.  View.

Then you go back to perusing FB or then you go on to other things in your life.

This time, it was different.

Click.  View.  React.  Can't believe what I'm hearing.  Can't wait to share.  Very moving.

Here is the intro from Upworthy.com:

Dustin Hoffman Breaks Down Crying Explaining Something That Every Woman Sadly Already Experienced

Back in the day, for those of you younger folk, Dustin Hoffman made a movie called "Tootsie." It was a hilarious and touching movie about an actor who can't get a gig, decides to become a woman to see if it helps, and scores a role on a soap opera. Hilarity ensued. But it was more than just a comedy. Here's why.

Grief Effects

When you lose someone close to you, it affects you in many ways.  I have recently found that there are 4 common themes that affect people after the first year of the loss of someone close to you, that many people go through.

Everyone is different.  But these seem to be common among my friends and I:

1.  Friendship is tested.  I think it's a distraction from the pain and suffering.  Others think it's God's way of letting you know who really is and isn't a friend to you.  You will lose friends after you lose a loved one.  I almost can't explain it; but it happens.

2.  We make big, altering decisions in our life.  Decisions maybe we only "considered" before; but didn't have the heart to do it (for whatever reason).  We don't make these decisions because we think life is short after you just lost a loved one; it's because you see you don't have to be unhappy in this short life.  Death is tough; ending a marriage is easier to do after that (for example). It gives you strength.

3.  Your personality changes while you grieve; you aren't the same person.  You lose friends; you lose touch at work; your relationships suffer.  You simply aren't yourself.  Eventually, you'll get back to being yourself, but it does take time if the loved one you lost meant the world to you.  If you were happy-go-lucky, you might be distant for a while.  If you were a loner, you might go out more.  If you were bubbly, you will find you need some alone time.  And that's okay!  Eventually, your "previous" personality will come back.  Just don't be surprised when people ask, "where is the old you?"

4. Your work is affected.  Most of us who are grieving WANT to come to work to get away from being home alone.  But, our work suffers.  We are distant, don't smile, don't engage with others, become hermits at work.  It affects your performance.  You get things done still, but it's not with the same enthusiasm you had before.

Like I said, everyone is different.  But I have noticed after talking with friends who have lost someone close to them, that the 4 above "themes" are very common.

Give yourself some time.

Grief is only temporary, but can last years at different levels.  Don't be surprised about that, either.  You will survive and you will return a stronger person!

Former Friends

Social media allows us to see things and feel things we may not have had to deal with 20 years ago.

I have felt real bad about a few recent things from former friends.  Mostly because I see their posts on FB about their friendships and it makes me sad I'm not a friend to them anymore.

The overwhelming feeling of disappointment and the daggers in my heart can sometimes last hours, or, if I think about it too much, for several days.

In the past, if you didn't speak to someone anymore (for whatever reason), you may not even see them to have those painful feelings of "what happened."

But nowadays, it's easy to remain connected virtually.

But, it hit me the other day that the way I feel, some of my former friends might feel, also.

Why?

Because I'm doing the same thing (unknowingly) probably to other people who I used to be good friends with.

If someone doesn't want me in their life, then it's their loss and they don't know me anymore. 

Just as I don't really want to be friends with former friends who lied or took up too much energy or who only want to be friends on their terms, I'm sure when they see me on FB talking about friends or being close to others, that it upsets them as well.  Just as when I see on FB "friends" who no longer want to talk to me or have anything to do with me, yet be friendly with others, hurts me and confuses me.

I wonder, what did I do that was so bad?

But when I think about how I prefer others not in my life anymore either, then I can kinda relate.  Then I should not be hurt anymore.  When I think of that side of things, I don't feel hurt; I feel understanding.  Not understanding for why they don't speak to me, but understanding that it's okay they don't want to be friends.  Acceptance?

Acceptance.

Reason, Season, Lifetime is fair game from both sides.

I don't really believe in karma, but I feel karma is biting me in the ass.  And, this is what I deserve.  And, quite honestly, I'm okay with that.

I was told about a year ago someone wasn't speaking to me because they "don't approve of my life."  All I can think of is I'm certainly not perfect, but if taking care of my dear Mom for 5 years is being a bad person/daughter then think what you will.

Now, I know that's not why they don't like me and that can't be why they aren't speaking to me, but when I heard I was a bad person, I wondered how can I be that bad of a person for taking care of my Mom?

(for the record, I have NO idea why this person "doesn't approve of my life")

And what's even more weird about this karma thing is, I learned from my Mom and Dad not to speak to people when I'm upset with them.  That is SO WRONG.  But it is what I was taught how to handle difficult situations.  And what I did for 40 years.  Well, even now there are people I wont speak to.  And yet people are treating me the same way.

Is that the karma thing again?

Or, have we ALL been taught through our parents that that is the way to handle things?

I can sit back and keep being hurt, but let's face it, I have done it to others.  I am not a horrible person but have made bad decisions in my life.  If people judge me for being human, then so be it.

I have judged others and not talked to them either; it's fair game.

I must remember that when people no longer want to be friends with me or judge me or don't speak to me anymore, that it's okay.

I need to not take it personal; Everyone has their own opinion.

I was told a LONG time ago that not everyone is going to like you.  I truly believe that and I'm okay with that.

It's when people who used to be friends with me who no longer want to speak to me that confuses me.

But, if I see that I chose that same fate for some of my friends in the past, then I understand it's not personal, it's just a choice.

It reminds me of that phrase from a few years ago "He's just not that into you."  It relates to relationships, but I think it also resonates with friendships.

And that's okay!

And guess what?  It's okay to be me.  And it's okay if you don't like me.  What is most important is that I like myself.

I have friends now who treat me so much better and I cherish my new friendships more than words can say anyway.

I also read one time, "would you be friends with yourself?"  You're damn right I would be!  

Age Really is a Number

Age really is a number.

But you don't realize this til you get older.

When I was in teens, my Dad's brother passed away of a heart attack at age 29.  I heard over and over how young he was.  In my teens I'm thinking, "that's not young, that's kinda old."

Typing that out makes me laugh reflecting back on my naivety!

When I turned 29, that's when it really hit me how young Robert Bailey really was.  Wow.  :(

In my mid 20s, people who were barely 21 could not BELIEVE I was as old as I was.  25.

When I was 32, I met a woman who was going through a lot in her life and she was 42 years old.  And I was thinking as I looked at her, "Gosh that's old.  I can't believe how old she is."

As I am now 43, I realize obviously that 42 is NOT old. 

I wonder how I will feel when I get to 50?  Or 55 or 60?

Right now, when I think back to the 1990s, it doesn't hit me how long ago that was.  I was in college and just starting my career in 1992.

But for some reason, to realize that 2004 was just only NINE years ago?  Holy Cow!  Really??

The few months before I turned 40, I was freaking out.  OMG.  FORTY. 

A few months after 40.  Eh, 40 is nothing.

As I look toward 45, when will it hit me how old I really am?

I still dress the same as my 30s (young).  When do I start dressing my real age?  When I'm old?  LMAO.

I remember visiting my Grandma Duncan and she was in her 70s or 80s and so were her friends.  Even at that age, they still cared about their looks.  I heard once before that no matter what age, women still care about their looks.  They will still buy creams for their now-deep wrinkles, still go to the salon for their hair color, and still wear make up.  Will there be one day I don't care about drawing my lips on?

My Mom was in a nursing home for only about 4 months (thank God) for rehabilitation.  She would be wheeled down to the "exercise" room and do her arm and leg movements along with the other ladies.  To me, everyone in the room was old.  To her, only the other people in the room were old. 

I just shook my head in agreement, not wanting to point out she looked like every one of them in the room.

However, my Mom was lucky and didn't look her age in the face.  Her wrinkles were hardly there (lucky beotch) but she let her hair go grey and her body was that of an 80 year old.  But, what mattered most to her was her face, and she did NOT look in her mid 60s.

Again, no matter what age a woman is, she will always care what she looks like and do her same routine (or new ones) to make herself look good.  As proof, my Mom would wear her wig to the Emergency Room, not realizing everyone could tell it was a wig.  ;)

A few of my very good friends are in the 60s.  Being in the social media age, everyone takes pics.  But they don't like pics of themselves and shy away from it.  I can envision that of myself.

What really struck me was each of them in some form or fashion has mentioned that they catch themselves in a pic or in the mirror and wonder, "Who is that?"

"Wait, when did I start to look this old."

I wonder when that moment will hit me.  50?  55?

Age really is just a number, but it's easier said than done.

I recall very distinctly when I was just about to turn 30, talking to a coworker who was going through some things.

He told me one of his fears was not accomplishing certain things by the time he was 40.  He turned 40, and everything he wanted to accomplish he had done.  And yet, he was still having "trouble" turning 40.  He had to go see a therapist for it.  He was confused.

That confused me to hear that.

As I think ahead, I am eligible to retire at 57.  I recall a coworker who retired 7 years ago saying, "it will pass by in a flash - you wont believe it."

Well, 57 is 15 whole years away.  That's a long time.  Or is it?


Here is some interesting insights and honesty from Cybill Shepherd she shared with Oprah:

When 40 finally arrived, Cybill says she fled the country but couldn't escape her age. Turning 50 was even worse, she says. "Fifty was really very traumatic, especially the early 50s," she says. "I stopped looking at myself in the mirror because I could see that I was aging."


Turning 60, however, was a turning point. "You decide what's really important in your life," she says.

Now that she's older, Cybill says her definition of real beauty has changed. "If we don't work to develop that depth and [have] more fun too—and really laughing and crying as much as possible—learning to love ourselves as we age is one of the most challenging things we can do," she says. "Look at everything and find something you can love about your body."

And check out what Linda Evans shares with Oprah:

Linda says she finally learned the true meaning of beauty in her 50s. "In a way, you're forced to give up the game," she says. "Anything that is outside of you, you can't control. But you can control inside of you."

Still, Linda says she decided to have plastic surgery at 50 because she wanted to, not because she had to. "I was madly in love with a man 12 years younger than me [New Age musician Yanni]," she says. "I wanted to still look good because I was with him."

Linda says she doesn't regret her surgery. "I wanted to look a certain way so I could feel better about that 12-year difference," she says. "And it worked."

Surgery or not, Linda says every woman should strive to love what they see in the mirror. "The great thing about aging is you do get wiser and you do get more certain in yourself of what you are and what you want," she says. "Loving yourself doesn't mean having a massage or getting your hair done. It means truly knowing your values." 

I'm Still Here; And So Are you!

After my best friend passed away (my Mom), I lost myself.  I was no longer "Melinda" and I was just a body trying to walk around and get through the day.

I didn't smile for an entire year.

I didn't hardly talk in depth with anyone.

I stayed to myself and just grieved.

I didn't care about anything or anyone (especially not myself).

Therefore, it's no surprise that my "Melinda personality" didn't show during that 16 months of grieving. 

(That included at work, too.)

I told a friend recently that, "I had lost my personality while I grieved.  I wasn't myself at all."

I told him I was doing better now and trying to get back to the "old" Me, though. 

His response was, "Glad to see you are trying.  And, don't forget that some of us never stopped caring about you, even when you were without your personality."

Although it sounds kinda funny what he said, I more so looked through the funny side and saw what he really wrote:  People still cared about me, even though I wasn't myself.

This REALLY meant a lot.  While I saw myself as reclusive and sad, people still cared about me while I felt alone and didn't reach out; I just didn't see it.

I am glad to know that my seclusion from the outside world, and the distance I put between myself and EVERYONE didn't hurt my friendships.

I am really lucky.

Found an Old Book of My Mom's

Getting ready for the last garage sale of my life (hopefully).  Going over every inch of the house.

Found this book among my Mom's books.  Wish I could have shown her when she was alive, just to see her reaction!

This is super cool!

 

 This says, "Toni, From Grandma and Grandpa, Christmas 1950"

Wow, 1950!!

 Here is the book they gave her:

 

 

Of course, then I notice it's a library book!

Watch out for that 5 cent fee!  (you rebel, Mom!)

Still, pretty cool to see my GreatGrandma's handwriting and a special note to my Mom who was only seven (7) years old way back in 1950.

:)

What's the Difference When it Comes to Memory?

For those of us with older parents (or those of us getting older ourselves), memory lapses always make us wonder and worry if it's the onset of Alzheimers or not.  It's a very, very tough thing to see our parents with dementia.  But is it leading to Alzheimers?  Or is it just part of getting older?

BTW, my Mom was given some meds that helped her dementia/memory.  I highly recommend talking to your parents' doctors if memory/dementia is causing you both stress.  It really helped her memory, and it helped my concerns for her.

I used to get more stressed about her dementia than her physical ailments. :(  I can't even explain it, really.  I guess, with her advanced heart disease and advanced emphysema, she could at least be home by herself during the day when I worked.  With mental issues, I wouldn't have been able to leave her home alone while I worked (and a nursing home was not an option as she NEVER ever wanted to go to one). 
  
In the meantime, I hope this memory comparison is helpful:

 (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

Friendship Thoughts of the Day

I need to remember who my real friends are; not the fake ones. I need to remember what one of my friends told me once about friendship and keep that close to my heart. I need to not be worried about the people who judge me unfairly (my so-called friends) or the people who treat me badly because they presume things. As my friend told me this weekend about herself, that resonates with me, "If they hate me, then they don't know me."

Tough times....

But, I have REAL friends who truly understand me, don't judge me, don't judge my actions or words, and who love me.

I want people around me who love me, and I love them.  Life is too short.

What?! Italian Court Convicts 7 For No Earthquake Warning

Defying assertions that earthquakes cannot be predicted, an Italian court convicted seven scientists and experts of manslaughter Monday for failing to adequately warn residents before a temblor struck central Italy in 2009 and killed more than 300 people.

Really!

:(

Read the story here:   http://news.yahoo.com/italian-court-convicts-7-no-quake-warning-153822654.html 

That is ridiculous.  We can't predict earthquakes!

Even the Seismological Society of America responded with this:

SSA Releases Statement on Conviction of Italian Seismologists

25 Oct 2012

The Seismological Society of America has released the following statement on the conviction and sentencing of six Italian scientists and one government official for manslaughter in connection with the tragic L’Aquila earthquake of 6 April 2009:

The seismological community is alarmed by the conviction and sentencing of six Italian scientists and one government official for manslaughter in connection with the tragic L’Aquila earthquake of 6 April 2009. We are concerned that this verdict may only serve to reduce life-saving communication about earthquake hazards in the future in Italy and in many other countries around the world. 

The occurrence of this disastrous earthquake illuminates both the high level of uncertainty in the science of short-term earthquake forecasting and the lack of a public policy framework in Italy and many other parts of the world for providing short-term guidance for coping with that uncertainty to the communities, populations, and infrastructure at risk. 

Rather than pursuing unprecedented legal action against members of the seismological community, SSA urges public officials and community leaders to work to improve the way earthquake risks are communicated to the public. We also urge continued proactive efforts to support earthquake science and engineering and to establish and implement local and national programs in earthquake preparedness and risk mitigation. The best approaches currently available for mitigating the effects of future earthquakes are education, awareness, and preparedness of public officials and the general public, coupled with sound construction practices and retrofitting of older structures. 

 

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.” The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed!

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

 The golf balls are the important things in life.  Your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions: things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else: the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, your will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Hang out with your friends. Take time to go for a walk. Enjoy a meal with your family. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired about what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

(or any fine drinks with friends, if you don't drink coffee like myself) 

 

Obstacles Have a Purpose

I read this the other day and it really resonated with me, so I wanted to share.  On the back page of Self Magazine.  I think it should have been moved up in the magazine, WAY up front.

"When you face adversity, rather than seeing the world as being against you, live as if it's conspiring to make you better.  Each obstacle has a purpose - this one to make you stronger, that one to make you more patient.  Thank them for teaching you to be creative and to persist, then keep positive until you can see your way not only through the barriers but to all the possibilities beyond."

Love Yourself

Nicki Minaj

OMG, I love this woman and her hair and her songs!  lol.  I think she is SO pretty and talented.

Here are the pics of her concert I went to back in August 2012:

Grand Prairie Verizon Theater, Nicki Minaj:

Oh, this isn't Nicki, this is me (lol) at her concert. ;)

Click to enlarge

Click to enlarge

3 Doors Down and Daughtery

My blog is for my memories, so I am going to post some pics of the concerts I have been to the last couple of years, so I can reflect on them later.

I must say that Brad Arnold, the lead singer, really, really impressed me of 3 Doors Down.

Most of the singers and concerts I have been to, they are SUPER appreciative we are there - the fans.  They don't take us for granted at all, and thank us for being there.  Even Lil' Wayne starts at the start of every concern that he thanks his fans and God.  EVERY TIME.

However, Brad Arnold of 3 Doors Down impressed me even more!

He thanked us after every song, "Thank you, my friends."  He said it so genuinely and so moving, EACH time!  He actually seemed shocked we were there.  It was so cute and SO touching!

He seemed surprised when he would tell the story that he can't believe where they are today (the band, successful).  He just can't believe it.  And he thanked us so emotionally after every song, it deeply affected me to be on the receiving end of his thankfulness.

Here are some pics of the concert:

Gran Prairie Verizon Theater, January 2013:

 

Great Quote!

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. – Lao Tzu.