Usefulness and Purpose

I've been struggling a lot again lately with purpose.

I don't even know why I'm even thinking so much about purpose.  Is it because I'm getting older? I didn't think about it in my twenties, not even in my thirties.  But for some reason it's almost on my mind daily in my forties.

It hit me after my Mom passed away.  Because after taking care of her for five years, I felt like I didn't really have a purpose after that.  If I didn't take care of my Mom for all those years, would I even be aware and struggling with this purpose thing?

After I started running the Omega Billiards Tour, I felt like I had purpose again.  Yay me!  But the purpose in life happy feeling slowly dwindled away for some reason.

After taking care of friend of mine (Dave) with mental and emotional support (still helping him), everyone told me that was purpose.  But what about when it ends?  For whatever reason I feel like I don't have a purpose in life.  And if you have purpose, that leads to have happiness, right?  It means you are making a difference in life, not just living a life.

It's actually been on my mind so much that it's pretty much been depressing me for quite some time. Paralyzing any sense of happiness.

I decided to finally look up on the all-knowing internet about purpose and happiness just to see what I would find. And fortunately for me one of the first few links I looked at was this link right here!

https://medium.com/art-of-practicality/the-purpose-of-life-is-not-happiness-its-usefulness-65064d0cdd59

After I read it, I was immediately overcome with calmness and happiness!

I honestly haven't been depressed since I read it about two weeks ago.  :)

It basically says that all the little things you do in life, add up.  And all those useful things add up, which leads to happiness and purpose.

And the examples he gave of being useful were very helpful things, but some also very small things. But if you think about putting all those things you do that are useful in one basket - it would be overflowing the top!

I also read somewhere else that if you make your purpose to cherish everyone you come across, then that brings you happiness which in turn brings you inner peace which in turn is a huge purpose, right?  Wishing for others to be happy all the time, how awesome is that?

So combine these two things I definitely feel much happier about not just living, but how I am living and what I'm doing in my life.

I also need to really, really remember that my job has a specific purpose to others. My job is basically customer service to people throughout the company across the entire country, but also what I do impacts the public directly (I work for the National Weather Service).  So I need to stop being so worrisome and confused about finding this magic purpose in my life when in reality I actually have a huge purpose right in front of me, here in my job (which takes up most of the time in my life, right?).

I'm so thankful that I've come to these realizations because I was being consumed with what my purpose in life is, which was leading to unhappiness (oh the irony).

So my purpose in life is to be useful; to be helpful; to be a great employee which in turn helps a lot of people.  It doesn't need to be ONE specific, huge, amazing purpose - but a whole basket of useful items!

All the useful things I do really DO add up.  Board member of the Coalition of Quality of End of Life Care, my job/career, city counsel meetings, certified mediator, coaching people in pool, and helping pool players improve through my pool blog, radio program, and online magazine.  And those are the big things - my basket runneth over even with all the little things I do daily that people don't see.

I need to STOP being so hard on myself.

I'm so much happier, I can't even describe it!   I'm just so very thankful I have came across Darius' article about usefulness and came to these realizations because I was struggling so deeply that it was almost paralyzing to even be happy everyday.

I knew I had a blessed, beautiful life.

Now I'm happy in it, reminding myself I don't need one big purpose and that I'm being useful with countless, untold different acts of kindness I do.  :)

Get a Colonoscopy - It's Not Bad, Actually Good

I got a colonoscopy back in June of 2015.

My advice to all you scardy cats is:  It's not bad at all!

The only real tough part is how many times/hours you go to the bathroom after drinking all the liquid stuff to make you poo to clean out your system, but you don't feel a thing or even REMEMBER a thing of the procedure itself.  Doesn't even hurt afterwards.  I pinky promise.

And besides the relief you feel when they didn't find anything (or if they did and they found it EARLY so you don't die), the other bad-ass (sorry for the pun) thing I learned was afterwards, your potties are now really great!

I don't really know how to say this, but the cleansing out of your digestive system now makes you VERY regular.  But more so, EVERYTHING comes out every time you go to the bathroom - no delays of your leftovers (even years after the procedure). 

So, you don't get constipated anymore, you don't have to go several times a day to get poo out of your system.  It's really cool!  Honestly, everything goes right through your colon so much more easier now because you cleansed your entire digestive system with all that stupid liquid the night before a colonoscopy.  And this lasts for year, not a few weeks or a month after the procedure - for a few years I found out.

I feel so much better every morning now.  So much so, if I notice a few years down the road I'm getting clogged up in there, I'm going to take all that liquidy mess again to cleanse out my system good.  Guess I should ask my hot doctor before I just do that, tho, huh?  Gives me a reason to call him, lol.

Here is a really funny article about someone who put off a colonoscopy to only find out it was really no big deal, AT ALL.  Check it out here and have some laughs.

5 Regrets Of The Dying

I found yet another article I wanted to share.  This one more profound than most of the others I have shared on my blog.

5 Regrets Of The Dying:   http://www.lifebuzz.com/5-regrets/

Here is a short recap, which I like to do just in case in years to come the link fails:
  

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. (This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.)
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard (missed out on their children's youth or partner's companionship).
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. (Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”)
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.  (Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.)

For me, Number 5 hits home with me most.

Men and Women Qualities

I read this article today (sorry, I get a lot of these from posts from Facebook), and it talks about the 12 special qualities that if a woman has, a guy shouldn't let her go.

I think the same list could be said for guys.  Except I would add being taken care of, and feeling like she's on top of his list (or somewhere near the top).

But, those 12 qualities, I wonder if my true love felt them about me?  I feel like I had them all for him.

Stupid thoughts, I know!

Anyhow, here is a short recap of the article:

1. She's smarter than you.
2. She's beautiful (to you).
3. She's kind and nurturing.
4. She's vivacious.
5. She loves you with all her heart.
6. She's willing to make compromises.
7. She feels like home.
8. She is more than happy to tell you when you're wrong.
9. She is strong, but feminine.
10. She's passionate.
11. She's driven.
12. She means the world to you.

What You Can Change - Things to Think About

One of my girlfriends liked this article and I read it and was kinda intrigued by parts of it, but not all of it.  Some related to me, some did not.  But each paragraph might to others, so I thought I would share it.

(btw, I despise the title of the piece, "How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticinig That You Are")

Here are what I think are the main concepts of each paragraph in the article:

1. Your current job and future job
2. Choosing the wrong person
3. Letting your past control your current life
4. Comparing yourself to others
5. Not showing/expressing emotions
6. "You ruin your life by tolerating it."  (okay, that was a quote from the article)

6 Secret Phrases Men Crave

I hope these links don't go away.  Just in case, I'll paste the main parts below.

Here is the link:  http://ilovemylsi.com/6-surprising-secret-phrases-men-desperately-crave/

Here are the "6 surprising secret phrases this article says men desperately crave":

1. I'm proud of you.
2. I want you now!
3. I love you.
4. You make me SO happy.
5. You look great.
6. I love how strong you are.

Besides number 6, these are things women love to hear, too!

What You Learn in Your 40s

Cool little article about being in our 40s.  No reason to re-invent these, just copy and paste for ya:

WHAT YOU LEARN IN YOUR 40s:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/01/opinion/sunday/what-you-learn-in-your-40s.html

Men, Women, Sex

Thought these were interesting.  So, thought I'd share.

12 Sex Things Men Really Don't Care About - LINK

25 Sex Moves Girls Wish Guys Would Stop Doing - LINK

If You Want to Change the World, a Speech

10 Life Lessons From A Navy Seal

Naval Admiral William H. McRaven returned to his alma mater last week and spoke to the graduates with lessons he learned from his basic SEAL training.

Here’s his amazing Commencement Address at University of Texas at Austin 2014 from Business Insider can be read by clicking HERE.

Enjoy.

 

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Thought I'd share:

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/