30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Thought I'd share:

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

Sugar Cravings

So, my body and mind are telling me I want to sleep all the time??

Seriously, good info - especially at night:

http://walk.walgreens.com/blog/post/sugar-cravings-go-to-sleep

My Life Changing Moment

I have been asked before if there is a person or incident that I feel had a huge impact in my life.  I am very lucky to be able to give you a resounding YES!

June Hager Walter, a well-known pool player in Texas from the 80s and 90s, took me under her wing in the mid 90s, when I was in my mid 20s.  We went to tournaments together and became good friends, but more importantly, she helped improve my self image, self esteem, and confidence.

It's difficult for me to explain the true depth of how much she truly helped me, but I will try.  Because I went through an extremely valuable learning experience with her that was transforming for my life (and happiness), I share this story.  Not only because it helped me, but because I hope it will somehow help others.

I wasn't the type of person anyone wanted to be around in my mid 20s.  I would describe myself as a very moody and a sometimes irrational person that was difficult to be friends with.  But June helped me overcome some very strong emotional obstacles.

Basically, I used to take everything wrong, see the worst in things, assume the worst, was paranoid, had very low self esteem, you name it.  I didn't like myself… at all.

• I misconstrued comments made to me all the time, and then overreacted.
• I would take actions personal, then cry about it and be depressed.
• I would hear comments from friends, take it wrong, then wouldn't speak to them because I was so upset and angry for the way I "felt" they treated me.

Quite honestly, it's a horrible way to live and I was miserable!

And I know I was no fun to be around.

I would constantly be mad at my b/f for stupid reasons and I would always seem to be upset with my friends for no reason.  I used to ridicule my boyfriend in front of people because I would take his actions wrong; I used to give my friends or coworkers the silent treatment because I was so hurt by what I "thought" they said.  I don't know how I kept the friends I did and why they put up with me!

Besides my external overreactions that people witnessed (yelling, nagging, the silent treatment, arguments, pouting, etc.) I would also go through a series of deeply disturbing internal overreactions as well.  Maybe for days replaying a situation over and over in my head or over-analyzing a comment or event made by a friend or loved one.  I could cry in a corner for hours alone in my apartment or remain depressed for days on end.

I was a very confused, unhappy, hurt young woman in my mid 20s.

Luckily, tho, June helped me.  She literally made me who I am today - someone who is happy, confident, and actually likes themselves!  And, dare I say that people enjoy people around me now!

I joke all the time that she kinda created a monster, lol, because I REALLY do like myself.

But, I'm extremely grateful.  Had she not helped me, back some 17 years ago, I would have been unhappy for the last 17 years.  And that would have sucked to be so unhappy and miserable for so long!  Further, I have some truly wonderful and helpful friends, and if I was still the way I was, I would have lost A LOT of precious opportunities to be friends with amazing people.

It's extremely difficult for me to describe exactly how and why I took things wrong.  But let me try to explain it with an example.

This situation happened to a friend of mine, that I witnessed, which describes EXACTLY the way I used to be:

A friend of mine, Cash, was upset at our friend David because David played a little joke on him.  Cash was pouting and disengaged from his friends, sitting across the pool room by himself, very upset about the joke David had played on him.  Cash was very upset and mad.  I went and sat next to him, to see if he was okay.  David came over tried to talk to Cash.  He tried to get Cash to look at him and talk to him, but Cash wanted nothing to do with David, so he kept looking away and wouldn't even respond to David at all, as he pouted and was hurt and angry.

One of my long strands of hair fell on Cash's arm, but he didn't see that happen nor could he feel it.  David happened to see it, and as he up picked my blond hair to drop it to the floor, he said, "Oh, you have a piece of hair here."

Cash quickly and angrily turned to David and snapped loudly, "I know I'm losing my hair!!!!"

David was shocked and stunned!

David abruptly walked away.

I, on the other hand, immediately told Cash, "Cash, Cash, my hair fell on your arm.  David saw it and tried to get it off, that's all."

Cash calmed down right away.

I ONLY explained what happened to Cash because I was the EXACT same way!  And I knew he only overreacted like that because he didn't know the full story of what happened.  He presumed the guy was being a jerk, just as I would have.

I knew the way to calm him down was to explain what happened.

I ALWAYS took things wrong, also.  This was a prime example of how I would have reacted as well.  I would have given a friend the silent treatment as I sat by myself all mad, and then I would have overreacted towards the comment because I presumed something that wasn't.

I always assumed the worse.  No matter if your intentions were genuine or if you didn't even say anything wrong, I just simply viewed things incorrectly/negatively, exactly as Cash had done.

I had many, many numerous days and weeks of being miserable because I had no idea I simply misunderstood someones actions or comments.  I just sat around hurt and mad.  Insecure and vulnerable.

Before June helped me, I took things wrong for the first 25 years of my life, and I really had no other concept to lean on.  

All my life I labeled these inappropriate and overreactions as "being sensitive."  In reality, though, there was nothing sensitive about how I took things.  I just simply overreacted and had no idea that what people said could be innocent, or even complimentary sometimes!  I had no idea my view of things was so skewed.

To make matters worse, if I got mad at what I "perceived," I would then be mad at the person who said it to me.  So many innocent comments from friends led to the silent treatment.  I got hurt and mad at my friends, loved ones, and coworkers A LOT.  :(

The reason why (I finally figured out) was because my parents were like this, too.  They took everyone's comments wrong, also, all the time, so I was raised in that negative, paranoia, pessimistic, low self-esteem environment.

When June and I became friends, we eventually talked almost every day for a few years.  She was about 15 years my senior and a real gem to be around.  I, on the other hand, was a real handful back then in my 20s, yet she stuck by me.

One weekend in 1995, after getting mad yet again at June and another friend during a weekend pool tournament trip, June pulled me aside as she dropped me off at my apartment and simply stated, “I really like you, but if you don’t stop taking everything wrong, I can’t be around you anymore.”  

WHAT?

I immediately got mad and started to cry.  

The tears raced down my face as I yelled at her and tried to explain I had been trying to not think so negatively and be so reactive for SO many years to no avail.  I was so deeply hurt she called me out like that, even though I knew in my brain it was true, but my fragile low self-esteem heart couldn't believe she was saying all this!

She tried her darnedest to explain to me that I had a lot going for me and that people really did like me; jealous of me, in fact.  But, I didn’t understand.  I had such low self esteem and was so unhappy, I couldn't see the forest through the trees. 

"Why would anyone like me and why would they be jealous of me?" I yelled back at her, still crying. 

June explained, “you have a good job, you went to college, you live on your own, you have a great boyfriend, etc.” 

I looked at her stunned.  Huh?  

Then she added, "We all like you and you are a great woman, but you get too upset all the time.   I want you to like yourself."

"Well, I don't!" I said matter-of-factly like a little kid, and still crying.

She shared with me,  "Don't be like me. I don't want you to wait til your 40 to finally like yourself."

The words kinda made sense to me at the moment, but it was still a very shocking discussion.  But, I will never, ever forget what she said.  How she said it.  Never.

I fell into a deep depression after that talk, for almost a month, as I reflected about my life and emotions and why I acted the way I did, and what June said to me.

However, that frank discussion (which wasn't easy for her to bring up to me because I was so volatile) also opened the flood gates so I could finally learn to like myself, and to be a better friend who didn't take everything wrong all the time.

June continued to help me after that initial talk - she told me to call her every time I got upset after someone said something to me.  

"Really?"  I asked.  "You would do that with me?"

"Of course, I like you," she replied with a smile.

So, I would call her up every time I got upset at someones' comment.  We did this for MONTHS!

“So and so said this” I would call, super upset, usually in tears.

She would evaluate the comment and reply, “that sounds like a compliment to me,” or "I think you took that wrong, I think they meant this instead, which is a good thing."

"Really?"  I would ask surprised.

I simply never saw another side to the comments that I took wrong.

She really opened my eyes to the fact just how much I was taking words and actions wrong, and that what most people said was really, truly NOT a bad thing.  I was just raised to expect and assume the worst.

And sometimes when I would call her upset and angry, sometimes others' comments justified my emotions.  “That did seem rude what they said, I would be upset, also,” she would empathize.

So, I was able to see the differences and also sometimes validate my feelings.  But more so, I saw a different side to comments - and actually, a more common sense side to things.

When you are raised in a certain environment, whether you are aware of not, you react to situations how you saw your parents react.  I only knew to assume the worst.  And further, I was taught through my parents' actions to give the silent treatment when mad at someone.  :(  I knew no other way until June shared the other side of things.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents!  I'm not judging them or labeling them, just explaining where this side of me came from.  I was still a very, very happy child!

For many, many months June and I spoke in depth about my reaction and emotions to comments that upset me – she gave me the opportunity to see so many things in a completely different light.

She believed in me.  

She HELPED me.

Because I figured out I was like this from my parents, I even started to help my Mom with similar situations.  It was very therapeutic for the both of us.

Further, I also recognized (after June helped me) that explanations were the key to deciphering my emotions.  Eventually, I started to ask my friends what they meant or why they said what they did.  Most of the time, it was because my interpretation of the event was wrong.

The woman you see before you now has liked herself since 1995.  Sure, I was a very, very happy child and enjoyed being a kid and then loved the college life.  But after college, for some reason I became very dysfunctional with myself and with my friends.

But, for the last 17 years, I am one of the few women in the world who genuinely and actually likes themselves.

June did that.

I am so blessed she was in my life at that time.

Don't get me wrong, I still take some things wrong even today (I'm only human, after all), but I was one million times worse, and extremely difficult to be around.

And I still go over situations and comments that hurt me, with a few friends, to get their take on things.  Am I overreacting?  Why am I feeling this way?  SHOULD I feel this way?  Talking things out with people is very helpful.

And of course, leadership classes and courses have helped me along the way, also. 

My all-time favorite is this nugget, that I wrote about before.

Although the leadership classes were helpful, I admit the content made more sense to me because June helped me back in 1995.

June helped me get a head start on living life, when in reality I was NOT living life and instead very miserable in my own demise.

I am beyond words to thank June for helping me.  She literally turned my life around.  She was an angel in disguise.  And will never, EVER, forget what she did for me.

Importance of Preparedness for Kids

This article is pretty cool.  Shows the importance of explaining weather AND emergency preparedness to kids and WHY it's so important.  Too valuable not to share.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/23/AR2010082304139.html?referrer=emailarticle

Hidden Litter Box

My neighbors back in San Antonio made this AWESOME kitty litter box hideaway!

It looks like a regular cabinet/table thingy, with a large door.

But what is hiding inside the stained "cabinet" is a litter box!  There is a clever hole on the side that the cat can walk through and then safely walk into the litter box.

The small walk-in for the cat is hidden on the side, so it isn't easily seen by people visiting your home.  And because the litter box is inside this "cabinet" it helps control the smell too.  Plus, we all know how cats like their privacy when doing their business!

The big door is for a good purpose - so you can easily take out the kitty litter box to clean it!

I have two of these.  I love them; extremely versatile.

 

BoatLift - Video about 9/11

Get your hankeys.  Very moving untold stories of resilience during 9/11.

Tom Hanks narrates the epic story of the 9/11 boatlift that evacuated half a million people from the stricken piers and seawalls of Lower Manhattan.

Happiness Is a Journey, Not a Destination

Even though I live like this already, doesn't hurt to share and/or be reminded:

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we're frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We'll certainly be happy when they're out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you're off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you're born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

ONLY IN TEXAS

Received this from a friend.  Loved it!  So, I'm sharing.  :)

This is a must read for all Texans, used-to-be Texans, adopted Texans or wanna-be Texans:

Just Texas
Pep, Texas
Smiley, Texas
Paradise, Texas
Rainbow, Texas
Sweet Home, Texas
Comfort, Texas
Friendship, Texas

Love the sun?
Sun City, Texas
Sunrise, Texas
Sunset, Texas
Sundown, Texas
Sunray, Texas
Sunny Side, Texas

Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas
Noodle, Texas
Oatmeal, Texas
Turkey, Texas
Trout, Texas
SugarLand, Texas
Salty, Texas
Rice, Texas
Pearland, Texas
Orange, Texas
Sweetwater, Texas

Why travel to other cities?  Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas
Cleveland, Texas
Colorado City, Texas
Denver City, Texas
Klondike, Texas
Pittsburg, Texas
Newark, Texas
Nevada, Texas
Memphis, Texas
Miami, Texas
Boston, Texas
Santa Fe, Texas
Tennessee Colony, Texas
Reno, Texas
Pasadena, Texas
Columbus, Texas

Feel like traveling outside the country?
Athens, Texas
Canadian, Texas
China, Texas
Dublin, Texas
Egypt, Texas
Ireland, Texas
Italy, Texas
Turkey, Texas
London, Texas
New London, Texas
Paris, Texas
Palestine, Texas

No need to travel to Washington DC
Whitehouse, Texas

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas

We have a city named after our state:
Texas City, Texas

Exhausted?
Energy, Texas
Cold Blanket, Texas
Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas
Goliad, Texas
Alamo, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Robert Lee, Texas

Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas

Want to go into outer space?
Venus, Texas
Mars, Texas

You guessed it. It's on the state line.
Texline, Texas

For the kids...
Kermit, Texas
Elmo, Texas
Nemo, Texas
Tarzan, Texas
Winnie, Texas
Sylvester, Texas

Other city names in Texas, to make you smile......
Frognot, Texas
Bigfoot, Texas
Hogeye, Texas
Cactus, Texas
Notrees, Texas
Best, Texas
Veribest, Texas
Kickapoo, Texas
Dime Box, Texas
Old Dime Box, Texas
Telephone, Texas
Telegraph, Texas
Whiteface, Texas
Twitty, Texas

The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas

And favorites are...
Cut and Shoot, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Ding Dong, Texas
West, Texas (it's in Central Texas )
Muleshoe, Texas


Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas.

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas;

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas.


Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas:
1. Beaumont to El Paso: 742miles

2. Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles

3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas

4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.

5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike - 2008!

6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston .

7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .

8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.

9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.

10. The worst natural disaster in US history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .

11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was "Houston," but the Space Center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.

12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island .

13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a US rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around Alvin (SSW of Houston) in July of 1979.

14. Texas is the only state to enter the US by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the US Flag, and Texas may choose to divide into 5 states.

15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.

16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.

18. Texas has had six capital cities:  Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg, Galveston, Velasco, West Columbia, and Austin .

19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the US which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington, DC (by 7 feet).

20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington Monument.

21. The name 'Texas' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.

22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo. An interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.

23. The first domed stadium in the US was the Astrodome in Houston.


Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Farlie, Texas:

(1)  Just one God
(2)  Honor yer Ma & Pa
(3)  No telling tales or gossipin'
(4)  Git yourself to Sunday meeting
(5)  Put nothin' before God
(6)  No foolin' around with another fellow's gal
(7)  No killin'
(8)  Watch yer mouth
(9)  Don't take what ain't yers
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff


Y'all git all that?
Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

From this link:  http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/3Ou46G/www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Here are my favorite top 13 (I need to personally remember) from the list of 30 that is stated in this great article:  30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
6. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
7. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
8. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
9. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
10. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
11. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
12. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
13. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

BTW, here are the other 17 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Yourself (I've snipped the details but you can check out the link for the fine print (and good advice)):

1. Stop trying to be someone you’re not.
   
2. Stop trying to hold onto the past.
3. Stop being scared to make a mistake.
4. Stop thinking you’re not ready.
5. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.
6. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.
7. Stop letting others bring you down to their level.
8. Stop trying to make things perfect.
9. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t.
10. Stop blaming others for your troubles.
11. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.
12. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons.
13. Stop trying to compete against everyone else.
14. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.
15. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break.
16. Stop holding grudges. 
17. Stop being ungrateful. 

If A Man Wants You - link

This article (If a Man Wants You) was posted on FaceBook by a few friends.  The author says:  This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.

I liked this so much, I'm sharing it, also.  :)  You can check out the entire article (it's not very long), but here are a few lines I like best:

• If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
• If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
• Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
• Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
• The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
• If something bothers you, speak up.
• Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
• You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within
• Never let a man define who you are.
• A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

Frazil Ice

Pretty Amazing!!

Don't Take It Personal - Tips

German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand other people's behavior." If that's true then we'd all be less frustrated if we could understand behavior.

There is a way to do that, as Annette Estes write in her eBook, "From Can't Stand to Understand - How to Handle Difficult People."

Below are 3 of her 7 steps that I severely need as reminders to improve my own sanity when I am getting upset and frustrated by others.  You can read the entire 7 steps here, but the 3 below were the most helpful to me. 

I've bolded the parts that resonate with what I am going through; and need reminders for to remain sane and to keep my mind from running out of control with animosity, frustration, hurt, and stupid, negative thoughts spiraling like an out of control roller coaster.

5. Don't Take Bad Behavior Personally

No one likes to be chewed out, criticized, ignored, or otherwise mistreated. While we shouldn't allow people to treat us badly, we need to understand where people are coming from and realize they're behaving in the way that's most comfortable for them.

If you're the type who likes to talk things out, ad nauseum, and you're dealing with someone who's uncomfortable showing their emotions it can make both of you unhappy. We should set clear boundaries with people about what they may and may not say or do around us. Yet we shouldn't accuse people during conflict. Don't say, "You make me so angry when you won't talk to me." Use "I" messages. Say, "It makes me uncomfortable when you won't open up to me; I feel you're ignoring me and it's hurtful." That takes the pressure off of them and they'll be more open to listening to you and changing their behavior.

Adopt the attitude that if someone has a problem with you it's their problem, not yours, and don't get all bent out of shape about it. Moliere said, "A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation." Good advice.

6. Adapt to Other People's Styles

The way to improve communications with others is to do three things: Understand your own behavioral style, understand the styles of people who are different from you, and adapt your style to theirs. If you treat people the way they like to be treated, they'll warm up to you and treat you better. The real magic begins when both people adapt their communication styles to each other. This formula is great for developing better personal relationships and for team building.

7. Be Non-Judgmental

Oscar Wilde said, "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." When you think about it, it's egotistical to get upset with someone for just being who they are, even when they're not on their best behavior. People generally aren't trying to upset you; they're doing what they feel is best for them, which most of the time is moving toward pleasure or away from pain.

New Laws in Texas

Below is an article outlining some of the laws going in to effect on Sept 1, 2009 in Texas.

AUSTIN, TX --- A number of new traffic and vehicle laws in Texas go into effect Sept. 1, the Texas Department of Public Safety said, including selt belt requirements and cell phone restrictions. Here are some of the laws set to take effect in Texas:

• HB 537 requires all occupants of a vehicle, no matter their age, to be secured by a safety belt, no matter where they are seated in the vehicle; changes the definition of a passenger vehicle to include a passenger van designed to transport 15 or fewer passengers including the driver; removes the current exemption for third-party Medicaid transportation provisions regarding the use of child passenger safety seats; and prohibits a motorcycle operator from carrying a passenger under the age of five, unless the child is seated in a sidecar attached to the motorcycle.
• SB 61 amends the existing statute regarding child passenger safety seats. The bill requires that any child younger than eight years of age be restrained in an approved child passenger safety seat unless the child is at least 4 feet, 9 inches in height. The fine is no more than $25 for a first offense and $250 for a second offense. The law also creates a new court cost for conviction of an offense under this section to be collected and used by TxDOT to buy safety seats for low-income families. The law becomes effective on Sept. 1, 2009, but tickets for this offense cannot be issued until June 1, 2010. Police officers are allowed to issue a warning before that date.
• HB 55 makes it illegal to use a wireless communication device in a school zone unless the vehicle is stopped or a hands-free device is used. Cities or counties wanting to enforce this law must post a sign at the beginning of each school zone to inform drivers that using a wireless communications device is prohibited and the operator is subject to a fine. It is a defense to prosecution if the operator was making an emergency call.
• HB 2730 increases the penalties for driving while intoxicated with a child passenger by adding an automatic driver license suspension period for first-time offenders and an increased suspension period for repeat offenders. The driver license re-instatement fee for completing an education program will rise from $50 to $100. The law closes a loophole so a person who commits an offense as a minor cannot circumvent the driver license penalty if the person turns 21 before their court date.
• HB 2730 allows a new Texas resident to operate a vehicle without a Texas license for 90 days instead of the current 30. (This provision went into effect on June 19, 2009.)
• HB 2012 creates two new punishment enhancements: a Class B misdemeanor if a person drives with a suspended license and without insurance; and a class A misdemeanor if the person driving without insurance or a valid driver license has an accident and someone is seriously injured or dies as a result of that accident.
• SB 129 authorizes neighborhood electric vehicles (NEVs) to be operated on roads with a posted speed limit of 45 miles per hour or less. The bill authorizes driver license holders to operate NEVs without having a motorcycle endorsement, clarifies that drivers and passengers in such vehicles are not required to wear helmets and specifies that enclosed three-wheeled vehicles as described in the bill are authorized to operate in preferential lanes.
• HB 2730 requires that all applicants under the age of 18 take the driving skills exam to receive a driver license. The law also requires that a provisional driver license (under 18) or instruction permit expire on an individual's 18th birthday, removes the requirement that a provisional driver license or instruction permit be renewed annually and increases the fee for those licenses from $5 to $15. It also extends the current phase-two restrictions for holders of a graduated driver license from six months to 1 year. These restrictions include limited night driving, prohibited use of wireless communication devices and a limited number of passengers.
• HB 339 increases the total hours of behind-the-wheel driving instruction a teen receives from 14 to 34 after TEA develops criteria for curriculum. (Goes into effect May 1, 2010.)
• SB 1317 creates a six-hour driver education course required for driver license applicants 18 years of age or older. It also mandates that applicants 25 or under must submit to an approved driver education course. (Goes into effect March 1, 2010.)
• SB 328 gives DPS the power to suspend a minor's driver license if he or she fails a breath or blood alcohol test while operating a watercraft. Chapter 524 of the Transportation Code also clearly defines the suspension period for an individual who was under the age of 21 at the time when the offense of boating under the influence or driving under the influence of alcohol occurred. The law also increases the reinstatement fee for a license suspended under sections 49.04-49.08, Penal Code from $50 to $100.
• HB 2730 increases the driver license sanction from a one-year CDL license disqualification to a lifetime disqualification if a person uses a motor vehicle to transport, conceal or harbor an alien. If a child is engaged in conduct involving a severe form of trafficking persons, a judge at a juvenile hearing is required to order the juvenile's driver license or permit to be suspended.
• HB 2730 prohibits DPS from issuing a driver license or identification card to a person who has not established a domicile in Texas. The law specifies that an applicant may receive a driver license at a post office box only if the applicant's residence address has also been provided, with some exceptions.
• HB 1282 makes it a Class B misdemeanor to steal a driver license, commercial driver license or personal identification.
• HB 2730 increases the fine for a parking violation at the state Capitol from $10 to $25, and increases the late fee from $2 to $5.
• SB 589 requires that window installers place a vehicle equipment safety compliance label on a windshield, side or rear window stating that the window tinting complies with the appropriate provisions of the Transportation Code. Failing to place the required label on the vehicle could now lead to a $1,000 fine for the window installer.

Five Things That Waste Your Energy

In order to create that which we most want in our life, we need ENERGY! Sounds obvious, but for many it's a surprising new fact. The first rule of any decent conservation plan is to stop wasting energy. There are many energy-drains that we become oblivious to as we live our life on a day-to-day basis. Here are some energy wasters and how to combat them, so that you can free up your energy and use it to build your dreams.

1. Needless worry.
   Worry over every little thing in your life is one of the most efficient energy drains there is. It's sole purpose appears to be to fill our mind with constant concern over the most mundane things. In that way, we seem to give ourselves a good excuse for not working on what is really important to us.
   
   How to Stop the Leak: Unless you are in immediate physical danger, identify what's worrying you. If you can not control or influence the outcome, let it go. There is a less than 1% chance that the thing you are afraid of will even happen. Stay tuned in to the probabilities and take some long slow deep breaths. Then, focus on what's really important to you!
   
   
2. Doing for the sake of doing.
   We live in an action-oriented culture. If we're not doing, we are made to feel guilty. There is little value placed on thinking or planning. We fill up our lives with activity, purposeful or not, just to prove we are doers, as if that alone gives us our value. This is especially true if you are a person who goes inside to process information. The apparent lack of activity on your part is considered to be laziness by those who process information by talking aloud or doing.
   
   How to Stop the Leak: Don't just look at your to-do list. Look at why the item is on your list. Is there true value in it? What would happen if it never got done? Does anyone (including you) really care about this item? Review your list and eliminate the items which you can't even remember why you put them on the list. Then, start focusing your energy by asking the question: What is the most important thing to do RIGHT NOW? Even without paper in front of us, most of us know what that is. Taking care of the most important thing first recaptures energy as we enjoy the completion and feel energized to do the next most important thing. Incompletions are big energy wasters!
   
   
3. Anything broken that needs to be fixed.
   At any given time, most of us have a list of things around the house that need fixing or just some attention. Burnt out light bulbs, leaky faucets, anything that must be done 'just so' to make it work, these are just some samples to give you the idea. If it needs your attention, give it!! If you don't, you will spend more energy trying to remember to call the plumber than in actually getting the plumber to your house!
   
   How to Stop the Leak: As Nike says, "Just do it!". The worry about trying to remember to get it done and the annoyance caused by the broken item are serious energy drains.
   
   
4. Trying to be Perfect.
   When we focus on being perfect, we consume a lot of valuable energy on a fruitless mission. While we can certainly work on becoming our best self, it's important to note that our best self isn't perfect. It's just the best we can be today and a striving to be even better tomorrow. Perfection is unattainable. That's a simple truth. So spending a lot of energy on getting it 'exactly' right will burn up valuable energy and put us on a hamster wheel of wasted energy.
   
   How to Stop the Leak: Recognize and accept that perfection is not a goal to go after. It is much better (and healthier) to focus on becoming your best self. This will release a lot of energy and self-judgment, which drains even more energy.
   
   
5. Friends who Take, Take, Take your Energy.
   I don't know anyone who doesn't have at least one friend like this. Bottom line, it's all about them. It is a waste of time to try to have a dialogue because all they really want is someone to listen to their monologue. Worse, these people seldom want to talk about the good things in their life (apparently, there never is anything good!). You get off the phone, feeling exhausted and you barely said two words. Or, all you got to say was to agree to do whatever they needed.
   
   How to Stop the Leak: Wish this friend well and let them go! Be less accessible to them when they call. Set expectations at the beginning of the call: "Gee, I only have about 10 minutes before I have to xxx." Then be firm about keeping to that 10 minutes. If they don't start calling you less, then I'd say to invest in a caller ID system so you can see who is on the phone. If you don't feel you have the energy to talk to this 'friend', then don't. You can call them back later when you are feeling stronger. This doesn't make you a bad person, just someone who is committed to own self care.

Funny Weight Quotes

I read this today... LMAO!

• The best way to lose weight is to eat everything you don't like.
  
  
• Dieting is the triumph of mind over platter.
  
  
• The best way of losing weight - don't talk about it. Keep your mouth shut.

From Tyndale House Publishers

Click It or Ticket

The national Click it or Ticket seat belt enforcement mobilization is from May 18 – 31.

Although seat belt use is required in any company vehicle, it is just as important to also buckle up in your personal vehicle when you’re off the clock.

In 2007, nearly 30,000 people in passenger vehicles were killed in traffic crashes nationwide; half of those killed were not buckled up.

Seat belts are the simplest way to reduce deaths and serious injuries.

In 2007 alone, seat belts saved an estimated 15,147 lives, yet one in five Americans still fail to buckle up regularly.

Below are numbers of people killed in traffic crashes in five states last year: ( LA – 985 | MS – 884 | NM – 413 | OK – 754 | TX – 3,363 )

The risks of a fatal crash are highest for nighttime drivers and passengers and young adults.

Nationally in 2007, 4,540 young men and women ages 16-20 were killed in motor vehicle crashes, and 61 percent were not buckled up at the time of the fatal crash.

In addition, nearly two-thirds of all those killed in fatal crashes at night were not buckled up.

On- and off-the-job motor vehicle crashes cost U.S. employers nearly $60 billion annually.

Costs from motor vehicle crashes totaled more than $200 billion nationwide.

Be a good example to your friends, family, and co-workers. Buckle up every time you get into a vehicle. Click It or Ticket — day and night.

Bone Marrow

I just signed up to register to be a participant to donate a swab for possible bone marrow donation.

I went to this http://www.dkmsamericas.org/ and filled out the form.

Their return email said:

Thank you for taking the first step toward saving someone's life.

We want you to know that your willingness to become a bone marrow donor will give hope to patients around the world in need of a transplant.

Soon, you will receive a donor kit packet in the mail, which contains a copy of your registration form, which needs to be verified and signed by you , a packet of buccal (cheek) swabs and a set of instructions. Once we receive your signed registration form back we will process your registration.

If you have any questions, please contact DKMS at 1.866.340.DKMS (3567) or by e-mail at info@dkmsamericas.org

Thank you again for your support in our mission to save lives.

I can't wait to get the swab and send it back. It'd be awesome if I was a match to someone!!

CPR Rules for Bystanders

There has been a major change by the American Heart Association’s procedures for CPR for bystanders. The new hands-only CPR which involves rapid, deep presses on the victim’s chest, are all that are needed until help arrives.

Experts hope bystanders will now be more willing to jump in and help if they see someone suddenly collapse.

Bystanders only have to do two things. Call 911 and push hard and fast on the middle of the person’s chest. Hands-only calls for uninterrupted chest presses – 100 a minute – until paramedics take over or and automatic external defibrillator is available to restore a normal heart rhythm.

For an Adult: In such a case when the heart suddenly stops, the victim still has ample air in the lungs and blood, compressions keep blood flowing to the brain, heart and other organs.

For a Child: If a child collapses they are more likely to have breathing problems. In this case mouth-to-mouth breathing should be used combined with compressions.

Special Situations: Adults who suffer from lack of oxygen from a near-drowning, drug overdose, or carbon monoxide poisoning, need mouth-to-mouth to get air into their lungs and bloodstream.

The Happy Test

I'm sure I shouldn't be surprised, but I am - I scored a 32. According to the results, it means I am happy. Ironically, that makes me happy!

What about you? Are you happy? Take the test for yourself:

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200704/tows_past_20070411_b.jhtml