After my best friend passed away (my Mom), I lost myself. I was no longer "Melinda" and I was just a body trying to walk around and get through the day.
I didn't smile for an entire year.
I didn't hardly talk in depth with anyone.
I stayed to myself and just grieved.
I didn't care about anything or anyone (especially not myself).
Therefore, it's no surprise that my "Melinda personality" didn't show during that 16 months of grieving.
(That included at work, too.)
I told a friend recently that, "I had lost my personality while I grieved. I wasn't myself at all."
I told him I was doing better now and trying to get back to the "old" Me, though.
His response was, "Glad to see you are trying. And,
don't forget that some of us never stopped caring about you, even when
you were without your personality."
Although it sounds kinda funny what he said, I more so looked through the funny side and saw what he really wrote: People still cared about me, even though I wasn't myself.
This REALLY meant a lot. While I saw myself as reclusive and sad, people still cared about me while I felt alone and didn't reach out; I just didn't see it.
I am glad to know that my seclusion from the outside world, and the distance I put between myself and EVERYONE didn't hurt my friendships.
I am really lucky.
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