I Am Who I Am

You know, I'd like to think that this is true, but lately, I only apologize for who I am. 

I tried to make changes, I did!  No one else did.

I apologized for being the way I am; no one else did.

I am who I am, tho.

• People confuse curiosity for jealousy; 
• Confuse worrying about their safety to having to "check in;" 
• Confuse wishing others care about your whereabouts for being too needy;
• Confuse worrying late at night because of drunk drivers for being a bitch;
• Confused wishing for contact and communication to being smothering.

I am who I am.

I can't help the way I was brought up; the way I truly am.  I feel so badly that the way I am pushes people away.  But I'm not given any slack for being me.  I'm only being beaten up mentally and emotionally for being, well, Me.

I don't think it's right to lose self esteem because I can't change who I am.  And ironically, I worked on myself!

But I guess it wasn't enough.

I am the way I am because of the way I was raised; because of what I saw with my eyes my entire life.

I tried to change.  More than I ever did before!

And I asked for help, even.  But I wasn't given help.  Instead, I was ridiculed, and people just got upset with me for how I acted instead of helping and understanding.   :(

I am not suppose to apologize for who I am, but when people don't love you because of the way you are, what are you suppose to do with that information?

My self esteem is SHOT.

And I freaking hate it that this has happened.

I am a decent human being with some issues, but I don't think I should be punished for the way I am.  I can't help it; and I even tried and improved!

Instead, it gets thrown in my face of all the "bad" things this person thinks I am.  Really?  Can't remember the good times?  Can't remember the fun times? 

I'm shattered by your words and actions....