While I comprehend that drinking masks our problems or issues temporarily, it is still a go-to reason to drink and helps with not thinking about our issues, even for a little bit.
It just not dawned on me, though, that this past year sober I have dealt with all my issues myself. Ie, without alcohol. And quite honestly, that's tough.
While I have had a really good year, there has been a few REALLY bad times and I am experiencing all of those feelings 100%.... without blurring the feelings (even temporarily) with alcohol.
Not drinking is an exceptional thing for me, but it also means these rough patches are actually hitting me harder than usual because I'm not replacing/masking/hiding them with drinking. Instead, I'm feeling every emotion and thought and heartache very true and raw, without any disturbance (drinking).
I need to stop being so rough on myself when I get depressed. I'm dealing with it without any mind altering effects. And, quite honestly that's tough. And new for me.
But, I'm up for the task!
I'm just glad I had this enlightening moment today about this. I think it will help me during the holidays - a really rough part of every year for me.
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