How Are You Doing?

For the last 4-5 years, I hated being asked, "How are you doing?" 

Worse is, "How were your holidays?"

I discussed this with someone during the holidays and we agreed I should reply, "the holidays are almost over with."  Instead of going into my long spiel of death of loved ones, dealing with chaos, and why the holidays SUCK.

Now that the holidays ARE over with, and also the tough month of February gone, AND mostly because I really am doing better in general, I can easily answer people with, "the holidays are over with, so I'm doing good!"  Or, "I'm doing wonderful."

Seems like it's been SO long since i've answered anyone that I am doing well, or wonderful, or good, or great. 

Now, I'm proud to be able to say the positive adjectives!  Where as before I was scared of the question.

I'm just glad to be moving on and away from the depression that has haunted me for so long.

Feels weird to be smiling lately too.

But, the fog has lifted.  Working on many things in my life.  Feels good.

Finally getting sleep, too, which has been eluding me for years and years.  When I was taking care of my Mom the last 4 years of her life, I recall her always worrying about me not sleeping.  And then I didn't sleep the last 4 years after her death.  To be sleeping finally is very unusual but I sure am embracing it, and hope it lasts. 

So, how am I doing? 

Wonderful!

(finally)