August, Ugh

While I mentioned back in Feb that that month out of the year is a difficult month for me, it's not actually the toughest for me.  August is actually the toughest.

And here I sit, on this first day of August, thinking about what lies ahead of me:  My Mom's birthday (August 6th) and my Mom's deathdate (August 19th).

It's amazing to me how much this woman meant to me and how much my life became paralyzed because of my deep love for her.

I'd like to look at August as this:  if my Mom hadn't been born this month, then I wouldn't have been born!  So, I should look at this month as a GOOD month.  While I will try, I can tell you that come August 6th and 19th, I will not be myself at all.

Whatever "my self" is nowadays.