Letter for My Mom, 2009

I found this letter I wrote to my Mom in 2009.  We had been living together in our new house for a year and a half before I wrote it.  I had traveled to Martinique (an island in the Caribbean) for work and wrote this during one of the long flights.

I will throw in some photos for my Mom's high school friends, who read this blog (smile), and provided me feedback they like the seeing photos.

I sure hope that if I wrote this today I would have written it more eloquently, lol.  But, the points still come across (smile again).
………………………..


Hi Mom,

I have thought about writing you a letter for a long time.  I wanted to simply let you know I love you, but express many, many more things.

First and foremost, you are the most important person in the world to me. You are the best Mom a daughter could ever hope for; I am one lucky girl!

Walking my Mom down the aisle in 1981.

Although I think you sometimes lay in bed and worry about me and my childhood, in reality, I was a very happy child and loved my childhood!  I also love my life now, also.  I wouldn’t change a thing that has happened in my life – everything is a wonderful experience or amazing learning experience.

You did so many things in my life as I grew up that I am thankful for.  It’s about time I told you what they were!

I loved us singing Christmas songs together during the holidays in the kitchen, making peanut brittle together, and growing memories together.  Christmas remains a beautiful holiday for me because of the memories we created together. 

Me at Christmas in my teens (around 1985).

I loved walking on the frozen ponds in up-state New York that time we visited when I was a little girl.

Although I hated that we ran over that skunk that one time driving back to the property, it taught me that all creatures should not suffer, as you tearfully and with a heavy heart ran over it again so it would stop suffering.  Of course, our car smelled bad for weeks!

I loved growing up in the hill country!  My favorite part of my childhood – fishing; tubing without tubes, feeling my way down the rapids with my hands on the rocks; hiking, taking long walks along creeks that never ended, finding skulls and bringing them back to you like prizes, trying to find those cool, crystal rocks;  seeing you pee under deer blinds (LOL), seeing so many different types of animals; I learned to drive a stick shift in the hill country; the time we got super lost and saw that awesome owl (all the while we were scared to death); trying to find wild cats on mountains; feeding the deer their deer corn and seeing it all gone the next morning; looking under rocks for scorpions; climbing trees and jumping into the Frio River; being able to see the flooded waters and water crossings after torrential rains; trying to catch baby catfish in the shallow water on the flat rocks; the 2-4 hour-long tube rides on the Frio River – including the part of the run where the water was clear, deep, and an indescribable green color with catfish swimming below us as I climbed on you and your tube to rest; the trees of that calm part of the river were awesome as well.  Of course, you running into the flasher wasn’t fun for you I bet; the big black snake I saw that day you didn’t have your glasses on and you said it was more scared of me than I was of it (but you couldn’t see how BIG it was!); the time I didn’t come back to the park before sunset or at sunset I have always felt bad about b/c I know I scared you.

Mom in the Hill Country, digging up a cactus (around 1986).  

I enjoyed all our dogs following us as we tubed; I was enlightened when I would at times see an armadillo SWIM across the river!; loved looking for deer as we drove down Arthur's farm ranch road around sunset; I loved to drive around with you when I got older and we would see roadrunners or other small creatures.

Mom waving at me as she was tubing down the Frio River (about 1983).

The Frio River was my home away from home and I loved that I grew up in such a beautiful place, with you by my side the entire time!

The Frio River in Concan, Texas.

As I entered high school, you helped me enjoy school and any sad times with “boys.”  Then college came and you not only paid for my college, but you also gave me extra spending money. As I look back now, I see how much money that really was and how proud you must have been to give it to me.  I was honored and shocked and very much moved and never really told you how much that meant to me and how much that REALLY helped me.

Me in my college dorm room (about 1989).

Leaving for college was tough for me, but I know tougher for you.  I so enjoyed coming home to your home cooked meals and help with my laundry.

At the end college, Dad had his heart surgery and you had back surgery.  What a tough time that must have been that you and Dad couldn’t attend my college graduation ceremony (of the degree that YOU helped me get!) because you two were recuperating.  

After college you let me stay at the house for several months before I moved out on my own.  The one thing I am always grateful for is the feeling at any point I could move back in if I needed to.  Most parents kick their kids out for good – you always let me know I could move back “home” at any time if needed.

As I lived in an apartment for the first time, I took my furniture and then needed all your recipes!  Little did you know just how much I loved your cooking.  Spaghetti, lasagna, shish kabobs, roast, chili, etc.  Obviously, I can also grill pretty good, too, because you did that a lot when I was growing up.

Mom in the kitchen (around 1987).

Getting married and having you there meant the world to me.  I am sorry I let you down by getting divorced, but I was unhappy.

Me as a happy little girl with one of the many Shelties we had (about 1978).

I love animals just as much as you do because I saw your love for.  We had so many pets that you loved and cared for, and even after I left home they were a huge part of your life, which I love I learned from that you. 

Mom kissing my cat! (about 1994)

And the charities you were involved in after retirement were always for the caring of animals.  I loved our Mother/Daughter trip to Arkansas where we visited the Elephant Sanctuary!  

Mom at the Elephant Sanctuary around 2006.

When you were in the hospital for 20 days straight, it was my lowest moment.  Not knowing what was going on was causing me a lot of pain that I didn’t show you or Dad.  I kept it to myself while I helped you and Dad.  I loved spending all those nights with you in the hospital – I didn’t want you to be alone! I wanted to be with you.  I love you more than words can say.

I would bring these items (and more) to Mom's room anytime she was admitted (around 2010).

I know that moving from San Antonio was very difficult for you.  I know it was one of the hardest things you probably had to do in your life.  I want you to know I recognize that and am very proud of you for making the move to live with me.  My life has never been better right now because we are living together. 

Mom and her great sense of humor!  She forgot her teeth, but as we waited in a hallway for a room at the hospital, I took this photo of us and I had no idea she was acting silly in the background, lol!

I think often about when we were looking at houses together, and when we stepped into this house, we both immediately knew – we found the perfect one!  I hope you are enjoying the newly-built home we have, the central A/C, your sound-proof room, carpeted floors, and the big kitchen.  I truly love we have a garage and big house and I love that it is close to my work and the location is great.

Me and Izzy, my Mom's dog (around 2011).

I enjoy living with you so much, I don’t think I can even express just how happy it makes me; how amazing it feels to live with you – the person I love; the woman I love. 

My Mom made this Christmas card and had my photo added to the cover (around 1971).

The only thing I have ever wanted for you was for you to be happy.  I cannot control that but I hope sometimes during the day or at night, that you are happy.  I love that you get to get online, read your books, watch your shows.  I know you worry about the cleanliness of the house, but I could care less.  I just love that we live together.  I also love taking you to your appointments.  It gives us times to talk and quality time together.  I feel bad after I give you hugs and kisses that I then go upstairs and rest in front of the tv from my long hours at work, I get so tired.  I am sorry I do not spend more time with you.  But knowing you are downstairs fills my heart with immense joy; to see you in your room every time I walk down the stairs makes me smile because I love that we live together and that you are right here with me.

My life is complete.  I love my childhood.  I am a very happy person and very aware just how blessed I am.  I have you to thank for that.  I love you.

Kissing my Mom's cheek (2010)