I was in my own cloud of depression, not looking up as I walked into my building at work, headed to the elevators. There are 100s and 100s of people in this 14-story building who work there, plus all the visitors on any given day to the IRS on the 6th floor, Social Security Office on the 1st floor, and the bank on the 7th floor.
So, as I'm in my foggy cloud, I get to my set of elevators to the upper floors and a woman was standing there waiting for the elevator doors to magically open as well.
And then she says something to me, just as the doors open and we are walking into the elevators.
She said, "That shirt looks really great on you. "
I look up shyly (trying to also catch a quick look at what shirt I was wearing) and I reply nicely, "thank you so much," with a small return smile.
She gets off on floor 8, and as the doors close behind her, I recognized so deeply how impactful her choice of words were to me and how they made me feel.
Normally one would say, "I love that shirt," or "that's a great shirt."
But she actually added an element I had never thought of that is much more meaningful than just about the shirt - it's how the shirt looks on THE PERSON.
It was amazing how much more powerful her words meant to me, and how they made me feel overall.
I normally am just proud of the shirt choice I made when someone mentions they like my shirt/dress/whatever. This day, however, I felt good overall in MYSELF because of how she said the shirt looked on me.
The words are so similar and can be interchanged so easily, yet it's amazing how more impactful one was more than the other:
That's a great shirt.
That's a great shirt on you.
It was an extremely enlightening day for me. And has now given me more awareness when I give others compliments now.
1 comment:
It's such a natural thing to do, for many people. Why, I recently even complimented one of my fellow pool players on the shirt he was wearing. It was -- to me -- striking. But as a guy, we have been beat up and re-educated to think twice before complimenting a woman on her appearance. Such an act is often deemed sexist. Worse yet, it can get you fired if uttered in the workplace. Sadly, I have learned my lesson. I get your point though -- compliment the person, not the garment.
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