Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own. — Unknown
I can't begin to tell you how tough it has been for me to walk away from "unhealthy" relationships. I would rather suffer in misery than take that step to finally do what I REALLY SHOULD do: Walk away.
Why do we do that? Why do we stay?
I think simply it's because it's easier to stay. It's easier to put up with an unhappy relationship, than actually leaving it.
While it may sound profoundly stupid to stay in an unhappy relationship, we do have history with that person. We are still comfortable with them. And we still care for them, even if we are unhappy. And, it IS easier to stay together. I don't want be the person who finally decides to break up, but I also don't want to be the person that was left behind.
Most of my breakups were because they broke up with me. While each break up was necessary, and needed, it still hurt.
And who wants to go through pain and suffering? It's easier to stay and be miserable than heartbroken, right?
The few times I broke it off, one being my marriage, I was beyond unhappy. I was beyond just "leaving things as is." I finally decided to move on; it was the right thing to do.
But there are other relationships I should have ended many years or months before. For some odd, stupid reason I stayed WAY too long.
I actually REALLY envy the women who can leave when they should. I envy the woman who walks away from a man because she knows he's cheating on her; because she knows he's not good for her; because he isn't responsible, etc.
I found myself in many relationships I never should have been in to begin with.
I'm not the type of person who views things long term. I live in the present; in the moment. So what if the guy I like is not productive or lives in another city, or whatever. I didn't mind. I was happy living the life I knew best - just having fun.
Of course, that means making really bad choices, lol. I don't regret a thing or a choice, but I could have saved myself A LOT of tears and months of unbearable heartache from guys treating me bad if I just would have left sooner, when my brain told me I should end the nonsense.
I have a friend who wrote down all the qualities she wanted in a man. Writing down these things are so important, if that's truly the person you want to find. She found him, too. She is happier than I've ever seen her.
I'm not saying if you describe your ideal man he will magically ride up on his horse with his prince charming outfit on, but I AM saying that when you meet guys, if he doesn't have certain important qualities on your list, then you don't need to invest a lot of time in him; because that's not the type of guy you are looking for.
Still, be like my other friend and walk away (the sooner the better) if you have been unhappy in your relationship. You know in your head what you need to do; it's your heart that gets in the way. The time will come when you make that decision. And you will glad very grateful when you do. Life is short; you will find a good relationship(s)!
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