A Holiday is Just Another Day for Some of Us

I know people mean the best and are not intentionally hurtful. I know many of my friends and colleagues mean well and want me to be happy.

I wish I could get across to people, though, to stop trying to change my mind about things related to holidays. Holidays are just another day to me... and more so, that is okay! Stop telling me I need to make friends so that I am not alone on holidays. Stop assuming I want to be with other people on holidays or that I should be.

I have been alone on holidays for over 10 years. Just because I moved to a new place and don't do anything on holidays with others doesn't mean anything negative or sorrowful to me. This is how I was back in Texas - it's not like moving has changed my holiday celebrations. I wish people wouldn't presume I need to celebrate holidays or think I shouldn't be alone. When I say holidays are just another day for me, I think people feel sorry for me or sad for me or something. What people don't realize is, it's more difficult for me to celebrate certain holidays than to not celebrate.

I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving since my Mom passed away in 2011. The holiday only reminds me that I don't have any blood-related family left. Hey people - I'm okay with my own tradition of not celebrating it! It's honestly my coping mechanism to not celebrate it. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's my way of showing the world I don't have family, it's my one day of the year to make a stand for myself. The few times I *almost* celebrated Thanksgiving with friends, I bawled and bawled and couldn't make it out the door.  

The last few years I started to risk my ailing heart and began to go over to my neighbor's house for Christmas dinner. It was hard, but they welcomed me and loved me deeply which helped the pain of the celebration. I wanted to rush home right as soon as I could, as it really is painful, even though I felt loved. I especially wanted to escape and get home when Lily was alive. I only wanted to rush into her hugs and her excitement to see me which filled my heart and soul the only way the love from dogs can do. 

Sometimes a friend will ask, "What are you doing for Easter?"  I would ask back, "When is Easter?" and then they would laugh at me. You see, she had Easter plans set ahead with her family, so she knew when Easter was. Me? No idea. I felt kinda judged and felt like they were making fun of me - I know that wasn't their intention, though, but the laughing hurt. However, in reality, I have no idea when holidays are if they aren't a federal holiday, lol.

In my new location with new colleagues, they don't know yet or understand that I'm perfectly fine with not celebrating holidays and more so - I'm perfectly fine with being alone on holidays. One person just said to me, "I can't believe no one invited you over for Christmas," not realizing I would say no to any invite in my new town and in reality, it would be s more difficult on me to muster the courage to admit I don't want to take them up on their invite. 

So many people asked me during Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, "What are your plans for today?" Um, sitting on the couch watching whatever series I'm binge-watching at the time. And I'm as happy as I can be doing just that! On whatever holiday it is. Which to me is just another day.

Why State Parks

 If you read my previous blog post, I mentioned I was going to car camp at State Parks as I drove from Texas to Maryland for my move.

There are several important-to-me reasons I chose State Parks:

When I car camped a few times the last few years with my dear baby girl, Lily, I noticed that the State Park Police drive by at least once a day to check on each campsite. They wouldn't necessarily stop at every campsite, but they would drive by slowly, I think ensuring compliance of regulations and rules was probably the main reason, but it's natural for them to also see if campers are doing well and safe. The idea of a single chick with her dog camping alone and yet knowing the state park police were checking on things made me feel comforted. And on this 4-5 day trip, I was traveling completely alone.

The next reason may seem small but is also important. State Parks have a good online reservation system. Except for Oklahoma's, State Park websites make it easy to search for camping site availability with good maps. I bring this up because I have stumbled through other park online reservations' website and they are frustrating and sometimes would make me stop trying to stay at the park because their online system wasn't helpful to find a camping site at all. While Oklahoma is an outlier, the State Parks with user-friendly online reservation systems that I have personally used are in Texas, Arkansas, Tennesse, Virgina and Maryland.  (btw, now that I'm living in a new part of the U.S., I can't wait to add more states to that list!) 

Another reason I prefer State Parks is because they are pretty clean and kept up. I'm not trying to say if a park isn't a "state park" that it's filled with trash and not clean, but state parks seem to be at a different level for some reason.

Another benefit is you can count of a good bathroom set up. Sure, you might still see daddy long legs (that's a safe spider btw) in the showers, but the bathrooms are well maintained, whether brand new or 20 years old. At some non-state parks, the bathrooms at them can be unbearable and rarely taken care of. State Park bathrooms are the opposite. 

For the hiker like me, I love that State Parks have really great trail and park brochures that can be studied ahead of time and also downloaded. The brochures are all labeled well with trail distance, trail names and difficulty. This helps me decide if I want to visit the State Park or not, knowing if trails are near streams or there is a plethora of trails to choose from.  Also, sometimes there is no cell service at parks so to have a printed brochure can be very handy and helpful (from getting lost, lol).    

I have always felt comfortable at State Parks and during my stay at them on this trip, that theme continued.

People are pretty cordial at State Parks as well - maybe I've just gone on good days during the week, but most are on their best behavior. The State Parks kinda give that "official" "important" don't desecrate flavor, and I think the campers feel and know that as well.

Car Camping Across the Country

Planning for the Drive:

When I accepted the promotion in Maryland, one of the many items on my long to-do list for the move was to plan my drive from Texas to Maryland. While some people may want to race across the country to get to their destination as fast as they can, I simply did not.  My work allowed a minimum of 300 miles a day and because I don't like long drives, that is what I planned for. I wanted to take my time, not be rushed. 300 miles is roughly 5 hours - without traffic - and the day would need to include restroom breaks, eating, and stopping to get gas, etc. That leads to longer than 5 hours easy.

The thing is, with a 4 1/2 day drive, where am I going to stay each night? It's important to find hotels ahead of time and make reservations. Otherwise, I might be driving around for quite a while trying to find a decent place with a decent price with rooms available. That can just lead to frustrations, which I already don't need moving across the country.

I already knew I wanted to stop each day at spots that I could walk on trails and check out possible waterfalls and/or beautiful places. I wanted to take advantage of locations I hadn't been to before - who knows when I would drive across the country like this, especially not in a rush. 

It then dawned on me: what if I stayed overnight at state parks along the way?! 

It took a bit of research and planning to figure this all out. I didn't want to veer too far off my route, as I didn't want to add time to already long days of driving. I had to plan everything carefully - which state parks were located at the end of every 300 miles, if they had good camp sites available and if the state parks had great views or water along with trails. 

This plan was better than just stopping along the way at places to walk, as in reality, that would have added more time to each long day. This new plan allowed for me to take my time during the walks, because I would be already at my destination for the night. Further, this was great for stress relief - to be able to walk each evening after a long drive to decompress was great for my body, heart, and mind. 

The locations of the camping sites at each state park were most important to me - I wanted to wake up every single morning next to water - talk about food for the soul! Water always makes my heart sing. 

I planned to car camp, as most cabins are pretty expensive and/or not available. Plus, while tent camping is fun, putting a tent up and down each day for 4 days in a row would not be fun, lol - that would be quite a lot of work. 

I have car camped a few times the last few years, so felt pretty comfortable (and actually excited) about the idea. The only wrinkle I really ran into with my planning was it was Memorial Day weekend, and state parks require a minimum 2 night stay around holidays. So, the Friday and Saturday were going to be tricky. 

I guess the other two big items to take into consideration for this car camping jaunt for 4 1/2 days was would the weather cooperate and how would I car camp with so much in my car? While movers were taking the bulk of my things, I still had to pack for a week-long diving trip and because I was going to be in temp quarters (a hotel) for 4 weeks, I had to pack for that as well. And finally, the items the movers would not take I also had to pack in my car. Things like batteries, candles, cleaning supplies, etc. So, my SUV was going to be jammed packed and I wasn't sure how I'd really get it all in my car, along with the items I needed to car camp - the bedding, pillows, etc.

Next topics to come: Why State Parks? Which State Parks? Keeping in contact.

Where am I?

I honestly don't know even where to begin.

My previous three blog posts, March 31, 2021 about walking in snow, Feb 2022 about Lily's passing and then posting about an article in June of 2022 has led me to today:  September 2023.

I can't even begin to share all that's happened since I last blogged.

It may not seem that radicle or major, but after living in different places in Texas for 50 years, I up and moved to Silver Spring, Maryland by myself.  I applied for a few jobs after Lily passed away (yes, there is a correlation to that) and on the third try, I got one of them that led to a promotion here:  my new home!

There is so much to catch up on. I know that I pretty much stopped blogging during covid and also because the readers I knew about either are no longer a part of my life or no longer alive (sorry that sounds so morbid). Admittedly, I'm a ham and when I felt like I had consistent readers, I blogged more. But I also know that blogging used to be one of the joys in my life, and now that I'm on this new adventure which seems kinda outrageous honestly, maybe I should start writing some things down, errr typing blog entries.

Just the few sentences above, I could blog about every single sentence. I hope I create the time to start blogging again. Or more so, I hope to figure out a way to be able to type on my laptop easily, and not at my work desk - which does not allow me to be creative and if anything, muffles my desire to blog.