We don't know when he will pass or any timeline, but he went from being cancer free from esophageal cancer/surgery, to tumors in his brain in a 9 month period.
Don't get me wrong, he's not in hospice or anything. He drives himself to Walmart or to his doc appointments, picks up his favorite ice cream or soup, so he's not on a physical deathbed. But he's on a mental deathbed.
What started out as me helping raise money for him, has led to good a friendship. He calls me his guardian angel. He tells me I improved his quality of life. And all I've really done is be there for him in the hospital (everyone needs an advocate), been a listening ear to his thoughts (whether daily routine thoughts or worrisome thoughts), and a few times I have paid a phone bill or did his laundry when he was too exhausted to get to the laundry mat. I am the first person he calls if he has been admitted to the hospital. I am his friend. And he is dying.
I am not the only friend who helps him. Two of his friends, Wes and Courtney, have also been there for him many, many times as well. Dave calls us the "Dream Team."
He tells me all the time, "I've lived a great life, Melinda." And he firmly believes it. Which I admire.
He sometimes makes jokes about dying, but I can imagine he sits in his efficiency apartment and doesn't joke to himself about it.
Dave used to live out of his car for about 10 years. Some would call that being homeless, but he didn't label it - he just saw it as his life for the last 10 years. Being in the hospital with cancer in 2017, led to social workers helping him find a place to live, and also led them to help him sign up for a small social security check every month. He hasn't had a regular income in YEARS. His only income the last 10 years was from playing pool either in tournaments or gambling.
But he's still lived a great life. Has lived in Ohio and Texas and Florida. He worked for the railroad company for about 10 years in the 70s before he realized he could make a ton more money playing pool. He's been all around, knows a ton of people, seen a lot.
And my friend is dying.
Again, no way to know when the end will come (well, for anyone, right?), could be one year from now for him or could be 3 months. Only God knows when he will call him up.
He says things like, "That movie Annihilation came out. I was hoping I'd still be alive to see it and here I am." Or, as we pick out two 12-packs of his favorite shakes, "Do I really need that many shakes? I don't know if I'll be alive in 24 days."
He's not living like he's dying, though, which is a really good thing. If he had more stamina, he'd play pool every day like usual; now he only plays every once in a while. But he still goes to the movie theater, still checks out sales on clothes at JC Penny, runs his own errands, etc. You'd never really know he has brain cancer unless you were told - he walks around like every normal person and takes care of himself.
I have told him I want to be by his side when he passes; I don't want him to be alone. He said he would understand if it's too tough to watch him die, but the only hand he wants to be holding is mine.
I am honored to be this person for him. HONORED. It would be my privilege.
Sure, it will be tough. But I truly believe since I was by my Mom's side when she passed, I will have the strength and knowledge to be there for Dave when his time comes.
My friend is dying. Did I mention that?
Here we are back in July 2017 at a tournament I was running when he got in my photo when I was trying to take selfie lol:
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