I'm Still 12 Years Old and 20 Years Old

Sometimes, I feel like I'm still 12 years old.

I feel like a little kid because I still get hurt over stupid things that I think that I shouldn't get bothered about because I'm an adult.

But age doesn't seem to help our feelings.  We still feel like a 12 year old when we don't get a gift on special occasions from someone we care about (for example).  We still feel the same emotions when we aren't appreciated and the deep heart-felt pain we experienced as a child still rears it's ugly head.

Sure, I'm more mature (thank God), but I also have the same feelings as a 12 year old at times.  And I don't know why.

Could be that only-child syndrome I have (I think that's only partly the reason).  Or, maybe it's really because I just haven't figured out yet how to build thicker skin, how to not have expectations, or not to be bothered by non-appreciative people.  I shouldn't blame them for not being considerate - after all it's either a trait you have or don't have.

I am also surprised that I hurt like 20 year old.  Even though I'm 45+ years old. 

Specifically, I am surprised that I still get hurt in relationships. 

I think people are of the assumption that as they age, they should change in regards to hurtful acts.  But, nothing changes. 

Chicks (no matter 20 years old or 45 years old) still get hurt when a guy stops talking to them, or when a guy treats them badly.  We don't accept the hurtful situations any easier as we age - we still feel like a 20 year old would hurt.

And yet I don't understand why. 

You'd think eventually we wouldn't care or wouldn't let things bother us.  But, we do.  We are human.  We have feelings.  We still have the same heart as that 20 year old girl from so long ago.

I am lucky and thankful (well, the guy should be thankful, lol) that I am more mature in how I handle a guy being insensitive, distant and hurtful.  I used to be the psycho girlfriend, text 100 times a day, get mad all the time, send crappy texts because I was hurt, etc.  At least now I don't react like a 20 year old.  But I still hurt like one.

12 years old or 20 years old or 45+ years old.  Hurt doesn't lessen as we age.