It's okay not to be friends.
Really, it is.
About 17 years ago, I was dealing with a woman who over reacted about my actions toward her. She took it extremely personal that I didn't say hi to her one night. She had done nothing wrong, I just had a bad night and don't run around to ensure I say hi to everyone all the time, esp to acquaintances.
When she confronted me about it on the phone, she hung up on me and would never accept my calls again. I was livid! I was hurt and extremely upset that I couldn't explain myself to her. And most importantly, I was deeply hurt and confused because she no longer liked me.
I discussed this with a good friend of mine and she helped me get through it. June was kinda my mentor in my 20s and helped me through a lot of mental stress I caused myself.
In this situation, she helped me see that it's okay that not everyone liked me. Back then, my self esteem was super low and so it affected me deeply why this woman (who overreacted, ironically) didn't like me anymore. It took a few talks, but June convinced me I was a great person and if this other woman didn't like me, it was HER loss. Further, not everyone is going to like us. And guess what? That's okay.
Once you accept that, life gets a little easier because you don't take things so personal.
I have a few friends right now that I no longer talk to. One has sent me crappy, rude emails because he can't accept we aren't friends anymore. I am happy he isn't in my life. He is rude, puts business before friendship, and treats "friends" with disrespect, and yet he doesn't even know it.
Do I feel bad we aren't friends and he no longer likes me? No. I think it's like purging bad karma, to be honest.
My only issue I have is I can't be honest with the WHYs of ending relationships. I don't have the backbone, heart, strength to explain why I can no longer be around some people. And I feel guilty for it. Esp to the people I cared about and who I was good friends with before.
No comments:
Post a Comment