She bought us cool glasses! (check them out below) And we didn't even coordinate our wardrobe, lol. (just looks like it)
Here are some photos of that great, memorable time:
(clock photos to enlarge)
Friday, October 10, 2014
Elton John Concert!
I was SO lucky to get to see Sir Elton John in concert in 2013! AND, in Las Vegas. AND with my good friend, Janet! Kinda like a Bucket List concert, really. ELTON JOHN!
She bought us cool glasses! (check them out below) And we didn't even coordinate our wardrobe, lol. (just looks like it)
Here are some photos of that great, memorable time:
(clock photos to enlarge)
She bought us cool glasses! (check them out below) And we didn't even coordinate our wardrobe, lol. (just looks like it)
Here are some photos of that great, memorable time:
(clock photos to enlarge)
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Men, Women, Sex
Friday, August 22, 2014
10 Habits of Happy Couples
Found this link. Copy and pasted this below. I like this!
What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are the 10 habits of happy couples.
1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skin touches, it still causes each of them to tingle and — unless one or both are completely exhausted — to feel sexually excited.
2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand-in-hand or side-by-side
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand-in-hand or side-by-side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit… and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask for their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.
If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success, it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "Just Listen" and be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable.
What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are the 10 habits of happy couples.
1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skin touches, it still causes each of them to tingle and — unless one or both are completely exhausted — to feel sexually excited.
2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand-in-hand or side-by-side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit… and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask for their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.
If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success, it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "Just Listen" and be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
When she....
When she walks away from you mad:
Follow her.
When she stares at your mouth:
Kiss her.
Follow her.
When she stares at your mouth:
Kiss her.
When she pushes you or hits you:
Grab her and don’t let go.
When she starts cussing at you:
Kiss her and tell her you love her.
When she's quiet:
Ask her what’s wrong.
When she ignores you:
Give her your attention.
When she pulls away:
Pull her back.
When you see her at her worst:
Tell her she's beautiful.
When you see her start crying:
Just hold her and don’t say a word.
When you see her walking:
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
When she's scared:
Protect her.
When she lays her head on your shoulder:
Tilt her head up and kiss her.
When she steals your favorite shirt:
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
When she teases you:
Tease her back and make her laugh.
When she doesn’t answer for a long time:
Reassure her that everything is okay.
When she looks at you with doubt:
Back yourself up.
When she says that she likes you:
She really does more than you could understand.
When she grabs at your hands:
Hold hers and play with her fingers.
When she bumps into you:
Bump into her back and make her laugh.
When she tells you a secret:
Keep it safe and untold.
When she looks at you in your eyes:
Don’t look away until she does.
When she misses you:
She's hurting inside.
When you break her heart:
The pain never really goes away.
When she says its over:
She still wants you to be hers.
When she reposts this bulletin:
She wants you to read it.
~Author Unknown
Grab her and don’t let go.
When she starts cussing at you:
Kiss her and tell her you love her.
When she's quiet:
Ask her what’s wrong.
When she ignores you:
Give her your attention.
When she pulls away:
Pull her back.
When you see her at her worst:
Tell her she's beautiful.
When you see her start crying:
Just hold her and don’t say a word.
When you see her walking:
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
When she's scared:
Protect her.
When she lays her head on your shoulder:
Tilt her head up and kiss her.
When she steals your favorite shirt:
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
When she teases you:
Tease her back and make her laugh.
When she doesn’t answer for a long time:
Reassure her that everything is okay.
When she looks at you with doubt:
Back yourself up.
When she says that she likes you:
She really does more than you could understand.
When she grabs at your hands:
Hold hers and play with her fingers.
When she bumps into you:
Bump into her back and make her laugh.
When she tells you a secret:
Keep it safe and untold.
When she looks at you in your eyes:
Don’t look away until she does.
When she misses you:
She's hurting inside.
When you break her heart:
The pain never really goes away.
When she says its over:
She still wants you to be hers.
When she reposts this bulletin:
She wants you to read it.
~Author Unknown
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Don't Hate Yourself in a Bathing Suit - You're Missing Out!
I love the pool in Vegas! Catch is, I didn't go to the pool until about 2010. I never felt good in my own skin in a bathing suit to even FATHOM the idea.
I missed out on SO many years and opportunities, WOW!
No, every time I go I make a point to stop by the pool at least for an hour, to check it out it my baby suit (yes, I call it that sometimes).
There are many cool bathing suites that cover up the areas you don't like. And honestly. NO ONE is looking at you. They are wondering how they themselves look or are checking out the really hot chicks in skimpy baby suits.
So, GO TO THE POOL!
I read this quote the other day and it so resonated with my "older" self:
"43% of woman have missed out on a trip the beach or pool because they weren't happy with how they looked."
Some recent pics near water and me in a bathing suit. I never would have thought I would do this, but I really was missing out!
Others have written about this too: Check out this very popular written blog about this topic.
I missed out on SO many years and opportunities, WOW!
No, every time I go I make a point to stop by the pool at least for an hour, to check it out it my baby suit (yes, I call it that sometimes).
There are many cool bathing suites that cover up the areas you don't like. And honestly. NO ONE is looking at you. They are wondering how they themselves look or are checking out the really hot chicks in skimpy baby suits.
So, GO TO THE POOL!
I read this quote the other day and it so resonated with my "older" self:
"43% of woman have missed out on a trip the beach or pool because they weren't happy with how they looked."
Some recent pics near water and me in a bathing suit. I never would have thought I would do this, but I really was missing out!
Others have written about this too: Check out this very popular written blog about this topic.
Skylar Diggs Quote - Your Best
WNBA star, Skylar Diggs:
"My Mom always told me "You don't have to be the best, but you do have to be your best.""
Nice advice!
"My Mom always told me "You don't have to be the best, but you do have to be your best.""
Nice advice!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Imperfectly Perfect Quote
Found this anonymous quote in More magazine and love it:
"When I separate my features, the imperfections of each are all I see. Taking in the entire self though let the highlights and lowlights become imperfectly perfect."
If I do this right now, I love my whole entire self as is! I'm not so bad. :)
"When I separate my features, the imperfections of each are all I see. Taking in the entire self though let the highlights and lowlights become imperfectly perfect."
If I do this right now, I love my whole entire self as is! I'm not so bad. :)
Ranjana Khan Quote about Age
"When everything is falling into place, age doesn't matter."
-Jewelry designer, Ranjana Khan, 58
(how nice that would feel!)
-Jewelry designer, Ranjana Khan, 58
(how nice that would feel!)
Allison Janey Quote about Age
"I've decided I'm going to start saying I'm older than I am. When I tell people I'm 65, they'll say "You look AMAZING!"
-Allison Janney, 54
-Allison Janney, 54
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
True Love Quote
"Love is when you take away the feelings, the passion, and the romance
in the relationship and you find out that you still care for the person."
Makes me cry just thinking about this. <3 p="">
Makes me cry just thinking about this. <3 p="">
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Reading Glasses and Aging
I remember when I was almost 30 years old I went to lunch with my boss. He had to use reading glasses to read the menu.
He tried at first not to use them but then had to take them out to read. He made some weird comment like he hated to use them because it indicated that he was getting old (or older). My response was, "I never thought that before."
Fast forward about 8 years and I'm traveling with a girlfriend who is in her mid 40s and sure enough at dinner she grabs her reading glasses.
She says to me, unashamed, "I can't read in the dark light. "
I was like, uhhhh...what?
I didn't understand.
As I approached the 40th year of my life, I heard more often I would need reading glasses.
It wasn't until about 43 that I borrowed a friends reading glasses because I could barely read the letters and words in the dark.
I was like, "hey I can see this!"
I immediately bought a pair.
Then found myself needing reading glasses when it was bright, too, not just when the lighting was low.
I bought a bulk pack from Sam`s, and now have a pair downstairs, in my purse, near my bed, in the living room, in the kitchen, etc. Now it made sense why my Dad had sooooo many pairs of reading glasses all around the house that I would stumble upon, lol.
However, I don't feel like it signifies I'm old/older like my boss felt. I'm just happy I pull it out and can see!
The only thing I noticed is I have to use them more and more. That part I really don't like. I fee like my eyes NEED them now instead of just HELPING me see close up.
BTW, I can see close, but need contacts to see far. And only need my reading glasses when I have my contacts on.
But I don't feel old. Plus, I know when the younger peeps see me using them, they won't think anything of it either. And my older friends can simply relate lol.
Here i am with my newer zebra striped glasses and case:
Here i am with my newer zebra striped glasses and case:
Friday, July 25, 2014
Liked Versus Respected
A friend of mine was reading something the other day - a reminder - and it said this "it is nice to be liked, but I think I would prefer to be respected first - then liked."
It is a great lesson for those of us who try to be TOO nice - so liberating to not worry about being liked and to just be myself - that should be good enough for some people.
It is a great lesson for those of us who try to be TOO nice - so liberating to not worry about being liked and to just be myself - that should be good enough for some people.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Striking Similar Stores - Windshield Deaths
This was HUGE news back in 2002, and I lived in Fort Worth and every where I went out of state, people would mention this lady's name and what she did:
Texan let man die in her broken windshield:
http://www.mazeministry.com/incorrect/chante/chante.htm
And now this happened in 2012! At least they got the same sentence (roughly 50 years):
Woman who drove with dying man on car gets prison:
http://news.yahoo.com/woman-drove-dying-man-car-gets-prison-193050640.html
I feel so badly for all involved. I know they were scared and didn't want to go to jail, but in the end, they did anyway, and two people died. :(
Texan let man die in her broken windshield:
http://www.mazeministry.com/incorrect/chante/chante.htm
And now this happened in 2012! At least they got the same sentence (roughly 50 years):
Woman who drove with dying man on car gets prison:
http://news.yahoo.com/woman-drove-dying-man-car-gets-prison-193050640.html
I feel so badly for all involved. I know they were scared and didn't want to go to jail, but in the end, they did anyway, and two people died. :(
Monday, June 9, 2014
Keep it to Yourself for Now
Seems like some friends evidently think I'm selfish.
But seeing that I have been a caretaker for most of my life, I admit I am getting tired of all the crap I'm getting for not being there for them, and other expectations of me... some of which I didn't know anything about until they expressed to me how disappointed they are with me and me not being there for them.
Like I don't have enough crap going on with myself and now I feel even worse.
If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it about me, to me. I can't handle anymore.
I have enough going on.
It's not that I don't want to be there for my friends, but if I'm not there for you and your expectations (which I knew nothing about til they made me feel bad), then I am truly sorry. I just have a lot going on right now and can barely keep myself alive, much less be there for my friends and all these things I was expected to do.
Sorry if I'm sounding selfish, but there are times in our lives where we NEED to be selfish because we have put everyone else first for so many years. And going through depression, it isn't in my being to even help others like they expect right now.
I can barely function as it is.
Please, though, don't make me feel bad by telling me I have disappointed you. I can't handle any more. Really. I feel like I'm being kicked while I'm already down.
But seeing that I have been a caretaker for most of my life, I admit I am getting tired of all the crap I'm getting for not being there for them, and other expectations of me... some of which I didn't know anything about until they expressed to me how disappointed they are with me and me not being there for them.
Like I don't have enough crap going on with myself and now I feel even worse.
If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it about me, to me. I can't handle anymore.
I have enough going on.
It's not that I don't want to be there for my friends, but if I'm not there for you and your expectations (which I knew nothing about til they made me feel bad), then I am truly sorry. I just have a lot going on right now and can barely keep myself alive, much less be there for my friends and all these things I was expected to do.
Sorry if I'm sounding selfish, but there are times in our lives where we NEED to be selfish because we have put everyone else first for so many years. And going through depression, it isn't in my being to even help others like they expect right now.
I can barely function as it is.
Please, though, don't make me feel bad by telling me I have disappointed you. I can't handle any more. Really. I feel like I'm being kicked while I'm already down.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
If You Want to Change the World, a Speech
10 Life Lessons From A Navy Seal
Naval Admiral William H. McRaven returned to his alma mater last week and spoke to the graduates with lessons he learned from his basic SEAL training.Here’s his amazing Commencement Address at University of Texas at Austin 2014 from Business Insider can be read by clicking HERE.
Enjoy.
Friday, May 23, 2014
The One That Got Away
Struggling.
My heart misses. My mind is in a fight with my heart.
All the good times, do they outweigh the bad times?
Only time will tell.
My heart misses. My mind is in a fight with my heart.
All the good times, do they outweigh the bad times?
Only time will tell.
Humblebrag
I think I'm guilty of this!
Just heard of this word for the first time today.
From Urban Dictionary:
Just heard of this word for the first time today.
From Urban Dictionary:
Subtly letting others now about how fantastic your life is while undercutting it with a bit of self-effacing humor or "woe is me" gloss."Uggggh just ate about fifteen piece of chocolate gotta learn to control myself when flying first class or they'll cancel my modelling contract LOL :) #humblebrag"
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
To Be In Love
I love this quote about couples from Angelina Jolie, talking about Brad Pitt:
"You get together and you're two individuals and you feel inspired by
each other, you challenge each other, you complement each other, drive
each other beautifully crazy," she says. "After all these years, we have
history – and when you have history with somebody, you're friends in
such a very real, deep way that there's such a comfort, and an ease, and
a deep love that comes from having been through quite a lot together."
Friday, May 2, 2014
Sage
I took a funny little test on the Internet to find out what "spice" I am.
No, not like the Spice girls, lol.
This is the result:
No, not like the Spice girls, lol.
This is the result:
You Are
Sage
You're the type of person who has already learned a lot from living. For you, life has been a character building exercise.
Your dream is to live a life you cherish. You don't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
You are always observing and thinking. You appear calm and self-possessed to the outside world.
You are concerned with inner beauty. You think once we understand ourselves, we are beautiful on the inside.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Telling the Truth, and You Still Aren't Believed
I couldn't say the above any better.
When you tell the truth and someone close to you doesn't believe you, what can you do to convince them?? It's very frustrating to not be believed. And I don't know what to do about it.
I'm at a loss.
A hurtful loss.
It's very frustrating to try and defend yourself even though you are telling the truth.
It actually upsets me very much I'm not being believed!
And I can't say words loud enough to express how truthful I am.
And I can't use any more words than truth, honesty, swearing on my Mom's grave, etc.
I don't lie about important things in my life, and important things that impact others. It's not even in my nature!
I'm so very hurt and sad.
And I have no idea what to do about this.
What sucks is, others are hurting because they think I'm lying. So, we are BOTH hurting. :(
I really don't know what to do.
I'm at such of a loss right now. For the first time, there is no solution to something. I've always thought there are solutions to things, but there is none to this one. Either you are believed or not. And I can express from my heart how much I'm telling the truth, but it doesn't work. :(
While this may seem minor. "So what, you know you told the truth."
It's not that simple.
I AM telling the truth. I am NOT being believed. And I've now lost a friend over it.
:(
So, I don't care how *I* feel, I care how the other person feels.
Monday, March 31, 2014
5 valuable life lessons we could all learn from Nelson Mandela.
1. You are responsible for your life
“I am the master of my fate and the captain of my destiny.” ~ Nelson Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela knew that you are responsible for your life, and you
have to take control of your steering wheel and take it where you want
to go. You. No matter how many genuine excuses you may have. It boils
down to you.
We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right. You can’t have whatever you want in life if you are not in charge and can’t account for the 24 hours you are given daily. There are a lot of resources to help you with time management.
2. Education is power
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ~ Nelson Mandela
Education was very important to Nelson Mandela.
Finish school, go back to school, enroll in that community college or university. I know going to school is just not the thing to do, but it really helps. When I’m faced by hardships now, I draw on the strength I got while doing a Masters degree several years ago. The program was so tough and challenging and I know if I did that, I can pretty much do a lot of things.
Or help Malala Yousafzai educate girls by reading more about her and her organization The Malala Fund.
3. Look at the bright side of things
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being an optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
Looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty will help you navigate life.
4. Live on purpose
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This quote really affected me. It’s not about me getting a six pack, getting married and having a fantastic wedding with tigers and elephants, it’s not about me taking fantastic vacations with my husband…it’s not about me buying all Apple products and having the latest Iphone 5, 6,7 and so one. All these things are good but Nelson Mandela wanted people to actually touch and make a difference in someone’s life.-
5. One can overcome poverty
“Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity; it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This article was written by Anita King
We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right. You can’t have whatever you want in life if you are not in charge and can’t account for the 24 hours you are given daily. There are a lot of resources to help you with time management.
2. Education is power
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ~ Nelson Mandela
Education was very important to Nelson Mandela.
Finish school, go back to school, enroll in that community college or university. I know going to school is just not the thing to do, but it really helps. When I’m faced by hardships now, I draw on the strength I got while doing a Masters degree several years ago. The program was so tough and challenging and I know if I did that, I can pretty much do a lot of things.
Or help Malala Yousafzai educate girls by reading more about her and her organization The Malala Fund.
3. Look at the bright side of things
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being an optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
Looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty will help you navigate life.
4. Live on purpose
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This quote really affected me. It’s not about me getting a six pack, getting married and having a fantastic wedding with tigers and elephants, it’s not about me taking fantastic vacations with my husband…it’s not about me buying all Apple products and having the latest Iphone 5, 6,7 and so one. All these things are good but Nelson Mandela wanted people to actually touch and make a difference in someone’s life.-
5. One can overcome poverty
“Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity; it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This article was written by Anita King
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Some Choices are no Accident
When I was given the worst news of my life, that my Mom was not going to live much longer, and she would need to be moved to hospice, I was sitting there alone having to fill out paperwork and make decisions that at the time were a blur.
The lady that met with me was SUPER nice and supportive as she could be to a stranger.
She asked me, "Where do you want to move your Mom?"
"What?" I asked her through tears, and a running nose, and a shy, confused voice.
I was not really understanding the question.
She said that there were two hospice locations. Once was right next door to the hospital, the other was in downtown Fort Worth.
I said, "The one next door please," because I figured it would be easier on my Mom (even though she wasn't conscious), and because this way my neighbors could visit her easily, also.
Then she shares, "Well, just so you know all the rooms are filled there, but there may be an opening by tomorrow."
Huh?
I thought about it and said, "Well, then we will have to move her to the one downtown. Can you give me the address and directions please?"
I didn't want my mom to stay any longer in this cold, lonely hospital than she had to.
The nice lady told me it would be a few hours before transportation came and picked up my Mom to take her to the hospice location downtown.
I spent time with Mom and eventually they came to get her. I ran home quickly to get some things and then arrived ahead of Mom at the location. I wanted to be there waiting on her and didn't want her to be alone one single minute. Even though, again, she wasn't even awake and could not longer talk to me or even communicate in any way with me, I still didn't want her to arrive alone to this new place.
I arrived at the place about 4pm, and sat with my Mom, talked to her, held her hand, cried my little heart out for hours. About 9:45pm, Mom took her last breath. It was the hardest thing to witness, but it was BEAUTIFUL because I was there by her side.
I was the love of her life. And that was her wish - for her to be pain-free in hospice with me by her side.
I left the place in a blur.
Of course I took off from work for a few days and only came in finally because I couldn't stand to be in the house alone anymore.
I got to my desk, started to lazily check email. Within minutes, I started to daydream. I looked out my window and just stared toward the window, not really looking at anything.
Then something caught my eye.
OH MY GOD.
I can see from my desk, right out my window, the building where my Mom was resting peaceful when she passed!
You might think this is morbid, but it is not. It's the last place my Mom and I were together. Just her and I. Peaceful. Beautiful.
I actually drive by this building a lot I would find out in the next two years. Every time I go to the movies, I drive by it. Every time I go get my nails done, I drive by it.
It is on my way to this little area called Montgomery Plaza and I go there for different things at least once a month or more.
Every time I drive by, I blow my Mom a kiss. Every time.
Every time I drive by, I tear up. Every time.
On my birthday just last month I happened to drive by the building that day and it made me smile and cry, because I miss her so much (esp on special occasions).
I am now thankful that other place was full. I would never in a million years would have know beforehand that this building was visible from my office. But I am thankful. And blessed.
I LOVE YOU, MOM!!
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The lady that met with me was SUPER nice and supportive as she could be to a stranger.
She asked me, "Where do you want to move your Mom?"
"What?" I asked her through tears, and a running nose, and a shy, confused voice.
I was not really understanding the question.
She said that there were two hospice locations. Once was right next door to the hospital, the other was in downtown Fort Worth.
I said, "The one next door please," because I figured it would be easier on my Mom (even though she wasn't conscious), and because this way my neighbors could visit her easily, also.
Then she shares, "Well, just so you know all the rooms are filled there, but there may be an opening by tomorrow."
Huh?
I thought about it and said, "Well, then we will have to move her to the one downtown. Can you give me the address and directions please?"
I didn't want my mom to stay any longer in this cold, lonely hospital than she had to.
The nice lady told me it would be a few hours before transportation came and picked up my Mom to take her to the hospice location downtown.
I spent time with Mom and eventually they came to get her. I ran home quickly to get some things and then arrived ahead of Mom at the location. I wanted to be there waiting on her and didn't want her to be alone one single minute. Even though, again, she wasn't even awake and could not longer talk to me or even communicate in any way with me, I still didn't want her to arrive alone to this new place.
I arrived at the place about 4pm, and sat with my Mom, talked to her, held her hand, cried my little heart out for hours. About 9:45pm, Mom took her last breath. It was the hardest thing to witness, but it was BEAUTIFUL because I was there by her side.
I was the love of her life. And that was her wish - for her to be pain-free in hospice with me by her side.
I left the place in a blur.
Of course I took off from work for a few days and only came in finally because I couldn't stand to be in the house alone anymore.
I got to my desk, started to lazily check email. Within minutes, I started to daydream. I looked out my window and just stared toward the window, not really looking at anything.
Then something caught my eye.
OH MY GOD.
I can see from my desk, right out my window, the building where my Mom was resting peaceful when she passed!
You might think this is morbid, but it is not. It's the last place my Mom and I were together. Just her and I. Peaceful. Beautiful.
I actually drive by this building a lot I would find out in the next two years. Every time I go to the movies, I drive by it. Every time I go get my nails done, I drive by it.
It is on my way to this little area called Montgomery Plaza and I go there for different things at least once a month or more.
Every time I drive by, I blow my Mom a kiss. Every time.
Every time I drive by, I tear up. Every time.
On my birthday just last month I happened to drive by the building that day and it made me smile and cry, because I miss her so much (esp on special occasions).
I am now thankful that other place was full. I would never in a million years would have know beforehand that this building was visible from my office. But I am thankful. And blessed.
I LOVE YOU, MOM!!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Dog Love
I was having a rough day the other day and there I was in bed, crying.
Many women find themselves alone in bed crying at tough times in their lives.
I was pretty lucky, blessed, and fortunate though as my dog, Lily, was laying on the bed with me. She looked up at me, as if she knew I was hurting and she snuggled toward me so I could hug her.
It was beautiful.
And amazing.
And comforting.
If you do not have pets, then you are prolly thinking "GROSS a dog on your bed??"
If you have pets, then you know EXACTLY what I'm saying and can even relate.
The thing is, I didn't realize how powerful the love from a dog can be until I got Lily.
And as I reflect back, the words from my Mom kinda haunt me right now.
I didn't know what she was talking about the last couple years of her life. But now I do.
My Mom lost her beloved dog about 2 months after my Dad passed. She was heartbroken!
I moved her to live with me in a town 5 hours away because she couldn't live by herself anymore.
She talked about getting a collie (the type of dog she has had most of her life, and that's all I recall growing up with), so we researched for shelties and we got her Izzy.
My heart would break but I would also get upset at how she always wanted a new dog for some reason!
Well, now I know the reason.
And now I'm heartbroken about it.
I look into Lilly's eyes as she's on the bed with me and I talk to her. I tell her how much I wish my Mom would have met her and been alive to see Lily and be around her. Lily is EXTREMELY loving and Mom would have LOVED her.
It breaks my heart that I didn't really HEAR my Mom. While I love Izzy, she isn't a snuggle dog. My Mom could have really used Lily. :(
And Lily would have loved on her, snuggled with her, and been the companion my Mom so desperately needed while I was at work all day long. Lily would have been her friend. :(
Lily has been an amazing source of comfort for me. It truly breaks my heart when I see how helpful Lily is to me, that she could have been helpful to my Mom.
Looking in her eyes, seeing her warmth. That one blue and one brown eye.
I have told Lily that sometimes, I think my Mom's soul is in her, and that is why she is comforting me. But then I wonder if Lily was born before or after my Mom's passing (Lily is a foster dog so I'm not 100% sure, but I know it's about around the same time frame).
I wish my Mom would have had Lily.
Izzy copies Lily now (which is pretty cool to see!) and she acts just like her! So, Izzy now runs to me (instead of away from me), talks to me like Lily does, and even plays more now that Lily is in the house.
Another pic of Izzy after she got shaved! My Mom never saw Izzy shaved but I think she would have been thrilled!
Izzy does not climb stairs for whatever reason, and so she does not come up the stairs and get on my bed, but I see her watch Izzy tromp up the stairs and I wonder, "Is Izzy jealous? Does Izzy wish she would have jumped on Mom's bed more?"
I miss my Mom with all my heart.
And, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you, Mom. I now know what you meant. I wish I would have got my you a "snuggle" dog or you would have had Lily to snuggle with."
It really breaks my heart. :(
Dogs are very amazing, comforting animals.
Many women find themselves alone in bed crying at tough times in their lives.
I was pretty lucky, blessed, and fortunate though as my dog, Lily, was laying on the bed with me. She looked up at me, as if she knew I was hurting and she snuggled toward me so I could hug her.
It was beautiful.
And amazing.
And comforting.
If you do not have pets, then you are prolly thinking "GROSS a dog on your bed??"
If you have pets, then you know EXACTLY what I'm saying and can even relate.
The thing is, I didn't realize how powerful the love from a dog can be until I got Lily.
And as I reflect back, the words from my Mom kinda haunt me right now.
I didn't know what she was talking about the last couple years of her life. But now I do.
My Mom lost her beloved dog about 2 months after my Dad passed. She was heartbroken!
I moved her to live with me in a town 5 hours away because she couldn't live by herself anymore.
She talked about getting a collie (the type of dog she has had most of her life, and that's all I recall growing up with), so we researched for shelties and we got her Izzy.
This is Izzy at Christmas
While Izzy is a GREAT (and previous showdog!) she was what we described as "skittish." She would run away from you when you called her name or tried to reach out to her. It was actually very frustrating.
Izzy loved Mom very much and my Mom loved her, but in the beginning, Izzy wouldn't get on my Mom's bed. This went on for a few weeks and finally my Mom said, "I want a new dog."
WHAT? I was livid!
"How can you want a new dog?" I gasped with shock.
Eventually, Izzy started to jump up on her bed and all was well in the world.
However, I was the human who fed Izzy and so she warmed up to me more. She would follow me around the house and my Mom noticed.
Mom got jealous.
"Looks like Izzy is your dog now, I want a new dog."
OMG.
WHAT?!
So, I started to ignore little Izzy so she would show more attention to my Mom and it worked.
Mom would have long hospital stays about 2-3 times a year and every time she would come back home, it would take a while for Izzy to get used to jumping back onto the bed with my Mom.
My Mom would frown and be sad and tell me, "I want a new dog."
My heart would break but I would also get upset at how she always wanted a new dog for some reason!
Well, now I know the reason.
And now I'm heartbroken about it.
I look into Lilly's eyes as she's on the bed with me and I talk to her. I tell her how much I wish my Mom would have met her and been alive to see Lily and be around her. Lily is EXTREMELY loving and Mom would have LOVED her.
Here is Lily and I
It breaks my heart that I didn't really HEAR my Mom. While I love Izzy, she isn't a snuggle dog. My Mom could have really used Lily. :(
And Lily would have loved on her, snuggled with her, and been the companion my Mom so desperately needed while I was at work all day long. Lily would have been her friend. :(
Lily has been an amazing source of comfort for me. It truly breaks my heart when I see how helpful Lily is to me, that she could have been helpful to my Mom.
Looking in her eyes, seeing her warmth. That one blue and one brown eye.
I have told Lily that sometimes, I think my Mom's soul is in her, and that is why she is comforting me. But then I wonder if Lily was born before or after my Mom's passing (Lily is a foster dog so I'm not 100% sure, but I know it's about around the same time frame).
I wish my Mom would have had Lily.
Izzy copies Lily now (which is pretty cool to see!) and she acts just like her! So, Izzy now runs to me (instead of away from me), talks to me like Lily does, and even plays more now that Lily is in the house.
Another pic of Izzy after she got shaved! My Mom never saw Izzy shaved but I think she would have been thrilled!
Izzy does not climb stairs for whatever reason, and so she does not come up the stairs and get on my bed, but I see her watch Izzy tromp up the stairs and I wonder, "Is Izzy jealous? Does Izzy wish she would have jumped on Mom's bed more?"
I miss my Mom with all my heart.
And, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you, Mom. I now know what you meant. I wish I would have got my you a "snuggle" dog or you would have had Lily to snuggle with."
It really breaks my heart. :(
Dogs are very amazing, comforting animals.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Movie Buff (but not via DVD)
I LOVE watching movies. I'd rather watch a movie than a sitcom.
And normally, I'd rather watch a movie I have seen before! I can re-watch some movies over and over and over again. No end in sight.
I also go to the movie theater a lot. I used to go about once a week, now maybe once or twice a month. But I LOVE seeing movies in the movie theater (if they have good nachos and/or queso, especially - lol).
I look forward to movies in the theatres!
And when I scroll through the channels at home looking for something to watch or for background noise, I'm praying a good movie is on!
What's really weird is I do NOT watch movies on DVD. I inherited about 500 DVDs from my Dad and even though I liked his genre, I only watched one of them (the new King Kong). So, there I was with 500 DVDs, but would still search my channels on TV for a movie to watch.
I just don't like to watch movie DVDs for some reason.
Here are examples of movies I could watch over and over, even if they came on every week:
Gladiator
The Mummy
Shrek
Shrek 3
A Few Good Men
Unfaithful
You've Got Mail
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Taking Lives
Mr. Brooks
Ice Age 3
Skyfall
The Avengers
Deja Vue
The Bone Collector
The Holiday
The Incredibles
Training Day
Just to name a few....
And normally, I'd rather watch a movie I have seen before! I can re-watch some movies over and over and over again. No end in sight.
I also go to the movie theater a lot. I used to go about once a week, now maybe once or twice a month. But I LOVE seeing movies in the movie theater (if they have good nachos and/or queso, especially - lol).
I look forward to movies in the theatres!
And when I scroll through the channels at home looking for something to watch or for background noise, I'm praying a good movie is on!
What's really weird is I do NOT watch movies on DVD. I inherited about 500 DVDs from my Dad and even though I liked his genre, I only watched one of them (the new King Kong). So, there I was with 500 DVDs, but would still search my channels on TV for a movie to watch.
I just don't like to watch movie DVDs for some reason.
Here are examples of movies I could watch over and over, even if they came on every week:
Gladiator
The Mummy
Shrek
Shrek 3
A Few Good Men
Unfaithful
You've Got Mail
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Taking Lives
Mr. Brooks
Ice Age 3
Skyfall
The Avengers
Deja Vue
The Bone Collector
The Holiday
The Incredibles
Training Day
Just to name a few....
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Life is too Short to be Anything but Happy
Good reminder I came across today:
There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.
Quote:
"Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us. "
There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.
Quote:
"Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us. "
Friday, March 7, 2014
Honey and Dear
I have been recently baffled by the claws that come out when a female uses common, everyday words to a male, when that male has a significant other.
A friend of mine calls ALL her friends (guys or girls) "Honey" when she texts them or comments on their posts on FB. When she uses that verb, she's just being friendly and nice. She has a HUGE heart and she's indicating her care for another person when she uses the word. It does NOT mean she wants to be with the person.... AT ALL. She's just really nice.
She texted a male friend about an event coming up with their work. She said something like, "Hey Honey, are you bringing that table to event on Tuesday?" She meant no disrespect and was only trying to find the answer for her boss.
Later that night, she received an answer: "My wife doesn't appreciate you calling me Honey so please don't text me again. Yes, I'm bringing the table."
My friend was taken aback because she meant no harm or disrespect, she was just being herself, honestly.
I tried to explain that using that word to a married man whether intentional or not is not well received by some females.
I suppose if I think about all this, because I myself am greener than most people, I would also prolly get upset if a pretty female called my husband or boyfriend "honey." Especially if I didn't know the female or they weren't friends with me. So, I can relate.
Move forward 2 years later.
One of my married friends lost his Dad and THEN his brother, only a week apart!
Since I had just lost my Mom, I was deeply affected by the thought of losing two loved ones.
Everyone on FB was commenting on his post and I said from my heart something like, "I am so sorry for your loss, Honey. My heart is breaking for you."
I felt devastated for him.
Then a few days later I get a note on FB: "I Would Appreciate It If You Would Not Refer To My Husband As Honey."
I was like, What?? I didn't respond to her, as I knew to just leave it be. Instead, I talked to a few friends of mine about it and left it alone and just didn't post on his page anymore about ANYTHING. Before this occurred, her husband had always been a friend of mine, but after that, he no longer communicated with me about anything. I guess his wife said something to him about my use of the word Honey.
A month later, I saw them in person at an event. I went right up to her and asked if I could talk to her. She asked who I was (she had only seen me online) and I told her who I was and wanted to talk to her in private.
She immediately was rude to me and I told her, "All I wanted to do was apologize. I meant no harm and I had just lost my Mom and felt very sad for your husband that he lost two relatives so close to each other."
"Well, you were out of line."
"Yes and I'm sorry."
After a few more words, I walked away VERY upset as she lashed into me (I can't even remember all that was said because I got so angry so quickly) but she touched a nerve when all I was trying to do was apologize.
I got on FB when I got home and blocked her and deleted him from FB. He is no longer even cordial to me and has to ignore me.
All because of the word HONEY.
Even though I really can relate. All because of the word Honey.
A friend of mine calls ALL her friends (guys or girls) "Honey" when she texts them or comments on their posts on FB. When she uses that verb, she's just being friendly and nice. She has a HUGE heart and she's indicating her care for another person when she uses the word. It does NOT mean she wants to be with the person.... AT ALL. She's just really nice.
She texted a male friend about an event coming up with their work. She said something like, "Hey Honey, are you bringing that table to event on Tuesday?" She meant no disrespect and was only trying to find the answer for her boss.
Later that night, she received an answer: "My wife doesn't appreciate you calling me Honey so please don't text me again. Yes, I'm bringing the table."
My friend was taken aback because she meant no harm or disrespect, she was just being herself, honestly.
I tried to explain that using that word to a married man whether intentional or not is not well received by some females.
I suppose if I think about all this, because I myself am greener than most people, I would also prolly get upset if a pretty female called my husband or boyfriend "honey." Especially if I didn't know the female or they weren't friends with me. So, I can relate.
Move forward 2 years later.
One of my married friends lost his Dad and THEN his brother, only a week apart!
Since I had just lost my Mom, I was deeply affected by the thought of losing two loved ones.
Everyone on FB was commenting on his post and I said from my heart something like, "I am so sorry for your loss, Honey. My heart is breaking for you."
I felt devastated for him.
Then a few days later I get a note on FB: "I Would Appreciate It If You Would Not Refer To My Husband As Honey."
I was like, What?? I didn't respond to her, as I knew to just leave it be. Instead, I talked to a few friends of mine about it and left it alone and just didn't post on his page anymore about ANYTHING. Before this occurred, her husband had always been a friend of mine, but after that, he no longer communicated with me about anything. I guess his wife said something to him about my use of the word Honey.
A month later, I saw them in person at an event. I went right up to her and asked if I could talk to her. She asked who I was (she had only seen me online) and I told her who I was and wanted to talk to her in private.
She immediately was rude to me and I told her, "All I wanted to do was apologize. I meant no harm and I had just lost my Mom and felt very sad for your husband that he lost two relatives so close to each other."
"Well, you were out of line."
"Yes and I'm sorry."
After a few more words, I walked away VERY upset as she lashed into me (I can't even remember all that was said because I got so angry so quickly) but she touched a nerve when all I was trying to do was apologize.
I got on FB when I got home and blocked her and deleted him from FB. He is no longer even cordial to me and has to ignore me.
All because of the word HONEY.
Even though I really can relate. All because of the word Honey.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Happiness and Experiences
I overheard a friend tell another friend that they read something very enlightening and inspiring. I wanted to share because it touched me as deeply.
She said she recently read in a book that:
I love this!
I imagine this to be things like, the ones who take trips and experience life and the outdoors. DOING things not BUYING things.
Reminds me of my trip the Grand Canyon back in the Fall. Or how I was raised as a child at the Frio River on weekends with my Mom. :) Or the many trips I took to play in big pool tournaments. I've been blessed with many experiences and I AM a happy person!
She said she recently read in a book that:
The happiest people aren't those who buy a lot of "things" or have a lot of "things" but instead, the happiest people are the ones who buy experiences.
I love this!
I imagine this to be things like, the ones who take trips and experience life and the outdoors. DOING things not BUYING things.
Reminds me of my trip the Grand Canyon back in the Fall. Or how I was raised as a child at the Frio River on weekends with my Mom. :) Or the many trips I took to play in big pool tournaments. I've been blessed with many experiences and I AM a happy person!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Give Yourself the Best Chance at a Happy Life
I'm not doing well lately with negative, pessimistic people, selfish. Patience is low for some reason.
Life is short and all some people do is bitch, whine, cause drama, talk about others, are selfish, complain about the same sh!t, and are insensitive.
Life is to be lived to the fullest.
Be grateful you are alive and have an opportunity to experience living!
Give yourself the best chance at a happy life and be more grateful.
These little things that people bitch about are so minor compared to the big things in life that could really be happening to them. Perspective goes a long way.
And gratitude.
Don't know why people are annoying more than usual, though, lately. All I know is it makes me not to want to be around them!
Luckily I have very positive friends I can be around. :)
Life is short and all some people do is bitch, whine, cause drama, talk about others, are selfish, complain about the same sh!t, and are insensitive.
Life is to be lived to the fullest.
Be grateful you are alive and have an opportunity to experience living!
Give yourself the best chance at a happy life and be more grateful.
These little things that people bitch about are so minor compared to the big things in life that could really be happening to them. Perspective goes a long way.
And gratitude.
Don't know why people are annoying more than usual, though, lately. All I know is it makes me not to want to be around them!
Luckily I have very positive friends I can be around. :)
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Death Timing
While death can happen at any time, at any age, I have noticed something that is very obvious:
In my teens, most of the people who pass away were the Grandfathers and Grandmothers.
In my 30s, the people who mostly passed away were my parents and people of their age.
I'm in shock right now today because it's finally happening... I'm at the age where people around me close to my age are passing away! :(
I always knew this day would come, but losing a coworker today who is only a few years older than myself, is hitting close to home, close to the heart.
In my teens, most of the people who pass away were the Grandfathers and Grandmothers.
In my 30s, the people who mostly passed away were my parents and people of their age.
I'm in shock right now today because it's finally happening... I'm at the age where people around me close to my age are passing away! :(
I always knew this day would come, but losing a coworker today who is only a few years older than myself, is hitting close to home, close to the heart.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Birthday Surprise
One of my dear friends celebrated her birthday at a local favorite restaurant and ten of her closest friends were invited.
We all showed up, had a great time, gave her gifts, and had many wonderful laughs together! She loved her gifts and her cards and genuinely was SO appreciative!
We surprised her by ordering her a little dessert and she seemed very pleased.
She saw us talk to the waitress, so I *think* she knew we were going to get her a dessert, but I also saw her talk to the waitress. I figured she was trying to stop it, lol!
As the dinner ended, 4 of her friends tried to claim her meal and drinks on their tabs.
"Put hers on my tab."
"No, mine!" another would try and tell the waitress, lol.
We were all trying to buy her birthday dinner for her! It was a free-for-all lol!
We didn't know who would get her tab, we were all just happy she wouldn't be paying for her own meal and drinks on her special day.
When the bill comes, none of us get a bill.
What?
Birthday girl then tells us a story, as she hands her credit card to the waitress (who rushes off), "I went to church on Sunday, and this little boy who was six years old was celebrating his birthday. For his birthday, he gave God $20. I was so moved a six year old boy would give money to God for his birthday, I thought, "I want to do something like that too.""
"So, today for my birthday, I'm treating YOU ALL. If he can be so selfless at his age, I can too."
We were all shocked! Ten people, food AND drinks. That's a hefty bill for anyone any day of the week. And to pay for it on her OWN birthday! Wow, left me speechless. I've never seen anything like that on someone's birthday before.
I HAD to write about this because I was SO moved. Moved by a six year old boy, and moved by my beautiful, amazing friend with a huge, huge heart.
We all showed up, had a great time, gave her gifts, and had many wonderful laughs together! She loved her gifts and her cards and genuinely was SO appreciative!
We surprised her by ordering her a little dessert and she seemed very pleased.
She saw us talk to the waitress, so I *think* she knew we were going to get her a dessert, but I also saw her talk to the waitress. I figured she was trying to stop it, lol!
As the dinner ended, 4 of her friends tried to claim her meal and drinks on their tabs.
"Put hers on my tab."
"No, mine!" another would try and tell the waitress, lol.
We were all trying to buy her birthday dinner for her! It was a free-for-all lol!
We didn't know who would get her tab, we were all just happy she wouldn't be paying for her own meal and drinks on her special day.
What?
Birthday girl then tells us a story, as she hands her credit card to the waitress (who rushes off), "I went to church on Sunday, and this little boy who was six years old was celebrating his birthday. For his birthday, he gave God $20. I was so moved a six year old boy would give money to God for his birthday, I thought, "I want to do something like that too.""
"So, today for my birthday, I'm treating YOU ALL. If he can be so selfless at his age, I can too."
We were all shocked! Ten people, food AND drinks. That's a hefty bill for anyone any day of the week. And to pay for it on her OWN birthday! Wow, left me speechless. I've never seen anything like that on someone's birthday before.
I HAD to write about this because I was SO moved. Moved by a six year old boy, and moved by my beautiful, amazing friend with a huge, huge heart.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
The Other Side of the Coin
I wrote back in early September about how low I was feeling. My self esteem was shot and I had been told all these things were wrong with me.
A dear friend read that post and immediately wrote to me.
I want to share what he wrote because I know a few of my friends should really hear these words and absorb them. It was very helpful to me and I know it will be enlightening to you, also.
I just HAD to share.
"The reason I'm writing you is because I just read your blog entry "I am Who I Am" and it broke my heart. There is nothing wrong with any of the stuff that you listed. What is wrong, is that someone else, who presumably was supposed to have your best interests at heart, didn't consider ensuring your happiness and providing you with reassurance a high enough priority to comply with that. In other words, the other person wasn't worth your time.
A dear friend read that post and immediately wrote to me.
I want to share what he wrote because I know a few of my friends should really hear these words and absorb them. It was very helpful to me and I know it will be enlightening to you, also.
I just HAD to share.
"The reason I'm writing you is because I just read your blog entry "I am Who I Am" and it broke my heart. There is nothing wrong with any of the stuff that you listed. What is wrong, is that someone else, who presumably was supposed to have your best interests at heart, didn't consider ensuring your happiness and providing you with reassurance a high enough priority to comply with that. In other words, the other person wasn't worth your time.
In a loving, functional relationship, the other
person's feelings should be the top priority of both individuals
involved. And, if that person doesn't consider those things important,
then you simply need to surround yourself with people who do, and not
waste your time with people who don't.
Stop thinking that your way of being drives people
away because the last time I checked, it also draws people to you as
well!! Rather, find someone who feels as you do, because there is nothing
wrong with you!!! Lord knows that you "checking in" every once in a
while would definitely be worth all of the other incredible benefits
associated with being around you and being loved by you."
I am so flattered by this email. I read it 100 times; it helped me each and every of those 100 times.
I am doing much better now! :) And I am so happy knowing I am in a better place in my life. :)
I also appreciate all my friends who love my unconditionally! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Hurt Quote
"Hurt is often mistaken for anger. 85% of the time, a person isn't actually mad at you but instead, disappointed..."
Monday, December 23, 2013
Death Should be Given Attention Too
"We
have to prepare
ourselves for our death
with the same care and
attention as our parents
prepared themselves for
our births."
"In our culture, which in so many ways is death oriented, we find little if any creative support for preparing ourselves for a good death. Most people presume that our only desire is to live longer on this earth. "
I thought these were well-stated comments about death, from henrinouwen.org
"In our culture, which in so many ways is death oriented, we find little if any creative support for preparing ourselves for a good death. Most people presume that our only desire is to live longer on this earth. "
I thought these were well-stated comments about death, from henrinouwen.org
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
What did you Gain? Weight or Other Things?
I really love this blog entry one of my friends shared:
http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/
(PLEASE take a quick moment to read it)
It reminds me of another from my good friend Rachel along the same lines, where she was worried about the size of her thighs, and then noticed a a homeless man on the streets. Puts things into perspective.
http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/
(PLEASE take a quick moment to read it)
It reminds me of another from my good friend Rachel along the same lines, where she was worried about the size of her thighs, and then noticed a a homeless man on the streets. Puts things into perspective.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Beautiful Relationships
I have heard my whole life, you should be with someone who complements you and brings out the best in you.
Until that happens, you have no idea just how absolutely beautiful that really is.
And how awesome it feels.
To be told "you bring out the best in me" and at the same time to see that someone wants to ONLY bring out the positive side of myself, is one of the most beautiful things I have experienced.
And it's not just being NOT around negative people.
It's about surrounding yourself with supportive people, encouraging people, people that do not WANT to hurt you, ever.
To be in a relationship where we each complement each other is truly amazing and I'm at a loss for words how to even describe it or why it's so awesome. I guess because we each feel special; because we bring out the best in each other. I mean seriously, HOW COOL IS THAT?
Enjoying life together.
Wanting to be together.
Supporting each other.
Recognizing each others' attributes and bringing them out.
If you are lucky enough to find someone who complements you, and you them, then you are very blessed!
I have this now. And it is AMAZING. Waited my whole life for this, and it was well worth the wait. :)
Until that happens, you have no idea just how absolutely beautiful that really is.
And how awesome it feels.
To be told "you bring out the best in me" and at the same time to see that someone wants to ONLY bring out the positive side of myself, is one of the most beautiful things I have experienced.
And it's not just being NOT around negative people.
It's about surrounding yourself with supportive people, encouraging people, people that do not WANT to hurt you, ever.
To be in a relationship where we each complement each other is truly amazing and I'm at a loss for words how to even describe it or why it's so awesome. I guess because we each feel special; because we bring out the best in each other. I mean seriously, HOW COOL IS THAT?
Enjoying life together.
Wanting to be together.
Supporting each other.
Recognizing each others' attributes and bringing them out.
If you are lucky enough to find someone who complements you, and you them, then you are very blessed!
I have this now. And it is AMAZING. Waited my whole life for this, and it was well worth the wait. :)
Honoring Fallen Soldier
I would have been bawling!
Heck, I cried just reading about it.
Heck, I cried just reading about it.
Flight turns unforgettable when passengers learn of fallen soldier:
Thursday, October 10, 2013
What you see is not what is going on.
My girlfriend posted this for me. Thought I'd share. This is a good reminder for a lot of us:
For whomever needs this today:
Just something to think about...
Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive?
Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated?
Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? (me, me)
Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me.
Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in.
For whomever needs this today:
Just something to think about...
Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive?
Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated?
Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? (me, me)
Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me.
Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Not Orphaned
I mentioned to someone a few months back that the first two years after my Mom's death (in 2011) was pretty tough on me.
This person already knew I also lost my Dad in 2007.
They proceed to tell me, "I feel so bad for you you lost both of your parents. You must feel like an orphan!" And then she hugged me, almost in tears.
I just stood there receiving the hug, then quickly left.
I do NOT feel like an orphan! I am NOT an orphan.
Who thinks like that?
This person already knew I also lost my Dad in 2007.
They proceed to tell me, "I feel so bad for you you lost both of your parents. You must feel like an orphan!" And then she hugged me, almost in tears.
I just stood there receiving the hug, then quickly left.
I do NOT feel like an orphan! I am NOT an orphan.
Who thinks like that?
Monday, October 7, 2013
Gratitude Journal - Secret to Happiness?
I started one. I sometimes jot down 5 things about my day for what I am grateful for. It's not a habit yet, but I do enjoy being grateful - helps even on the darkest of days. And makes good days even better.
"The Shocking Truth About YOUR Level of Happiness:"
http://wendykeller.com/featured/the-shocking-truth-about-your-level-of-happiness/
I would LOVE to really make this a habit!
Oprah has talked about how powerful gratitude journals are. And I believe it, also. Here is another short article from Oprah with more reason why it helps: Click Here.
"The Shocking Truth About YOUR Level of Happiness:"
http://wendykeller.com/featured/the-shocking-truth-about-your-level-of-happiness/
I would LOVE to really make this a habit!
Oprah has talked about how powerful gratitude journals are. And I believe it, also. Here is another short article from Oprah with more reason why it helps: Click Here.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Breath Quote
You would think this is a beautiful quote. Well, it probably is to a lot of people. But to me, I despise it.
When you see a loved one suffer and then pass away from advanced emphysema (which basically means they are constantly out of breath and can't breathe), then these type of quotes actually upset me.
Wearing an oxygen line on your face 24 hours a day, having to sleep upright (because you can't sleep flat), having to only be in cold temps (because hot weather makes breathing very difficult), can't walk the length of a room in a house without having to stop and try to catch your breath while finding something to lean on while gasping, constantly having to take "breathing treatments," never being able to take deep breaths or even laugh long..... Yea, it's not a very "beautiful" quote to me.
I'd rather my Mom had been able to breathe than any moment that took my breath away.
Call me selfish.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
I Am Who I Am
You know, I'd like to think that this is true, but lately, I only apologize for who I am.
I tried to make changes, I did! No one else did.
I apologized for being the way I am; no one else did.
I am who I am, tho.
- People confuse curiosity for jealousy;
- Confuse worrying about their safety to having to "check in;"
- Confuse wishing others care about your whereabouts for being too needy;
- Confuse worrying late at night because of drunk drivers for being a bitch;
- Confused wishing for contact and communication to being smothering.
I am who I am.
I can't help the way I was brought up; the way I truly am. I feel so badly that the way I am pushes people away. But I'm not given any slack for being me. I'm only being beaten up mentally and emotionally for being, well, Me.
I don't think it's right to lose self esteem because I can't change who I am. And ironically, I worked on myself!
But I guess it wasn't enough.
I am the way I am because of the way I was raised; because of what I saw with my eyes my entire life.
I tried to change. More than I ever did before!
And I asked for help, even. But I wasn't given help. Instead, I was ridiculed, and people just got upset with me for how I acted instead of helping and understanding. :(
I am not suppose to apologize for who I am, but when people don't love you because of the way you are, what are you suppose to do with that information?
My self esteem is SHOT.
And I freaking hate it that this has happened.
I am a decent human being with some issues, but I don't think I should be punished for the way I am. I can't help it; and I even tried and improved!
Instead, it gets thrown in my face of all the "bad" things this person thinks I am. Really? Can't remember the good times? Can't remember the fun times?
I'm shattered by your words and actions....
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Another Celebtriy House
I shared below how I loved Brittany Spears new house that was showcased. I found another!
Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's Los Angeles home:
I love the soft colors and the bright rooms!
Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's Los Angeles home:
I love the soft colors and the bright rooms!
Nice colors.
Beautiful and bright!
Love this bathroom and shower!
Is that a moat? Wow!
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Addiction
I'm not expert, but I have seen this, and I think for the most part, it's true without help:
Addiction to drugs, alcohol, food is so much stronger than addiction to love.
If someone chooses doing those over loving you, realize it's the drug of choice winning the fight for your attention. They still love you, love is strong (yes!), but that addiction can be more powerful.
I'm not saying it's right or that this make your heart hurt less; but, it's just the way it is most of the time.
So, don't take it personal. You did all you can; it's not you! It's the addiction to the other stuff that is controlling them.
If you are lucky enough to have someone feel this way about you, or feel about them, like this song resonates, you are lucky/blessed: Addicted to a person.
Because of You, by Ne-Yo
"Because Of You"
[Verse 1:]
Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't
[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it
[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug
[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave
[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it
[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug
Ain’t no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you
Because of you,
And it’s all because of you,
Never get enough
She’s the sweetest drug, she’s the sweetest drug
Addiction to drugs, alcohol, food is so much stronger than addiction to love.
If someone chooses doing those over loving you, realize it's the drug of choice winning the fight for your attention. They still love you, love is strong (yes!), but that addiction can be more powerful.
I'm not saying it's right or that this make your heart hurt less; but, it's just the way it is most of the time.
So, don't take it personal. You did all you can; it's not you! It's the addiction to the other stuff that is controlling them.
If you are lucky enough to have someone feel this way about you, or feel about them, like this song resonates, you are lucky/blessed: Addicted to a person.
Because of You, by Ne-Yo
"Because Of You"
[Verse 1:]
Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't
[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it
[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug
[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave
[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it
[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug
Ain’t no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you
Because of you,
And it’s all because of you,
Never get enough
She’s the sweetest drug, she’s the sweetest drug
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
True Love
I have always heard that people who are truly in love, they don't want to live without their soul mate, and sometimes they pass away shortly after they have lost a loved one.
But this story, is even more beautiful:
But this story, is even more beautiful:
Harold and Ruth Knapke, Married 65 Years, Die 11 Hours Apart:
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/harold-ruth-knapke-married-65-years-die-11-184517152.htmlFriday, August 23, 2013
One Woman Show
One of my bucket-list items is to see Oprah in person at one of her tapings. With The Oprah Show now gone, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance.
Well, hello Life Class!
Oprah is coming to the Dallas-area for a taping of one of her LifeClasses.
I was all excited, might finally get to a taping with Ms. O!
Then I saw the subject: "Bringing Families Together."
Specifically, Is too much dram destroying your family? Are you disconnected from your family?
Well, nix that. I don't have a family.
Well, hello Life Class!
Oprah is coming to the Dallas-area for a taping of one of her LifeClasses.
I was all excited, might finally get to a taping with Ms. O!
Then I saw the subject: "Bringing Families Together."
Specifically, Is too much dram destroying your family? Are you disconnected from your family?
Well, nix that. I don't have a family.
Oh Fonda...
My Dad used to talk very ill towards Ms. Fonda. Seems like he's not the only one who didn't like her antics and arm waving back about the Vietnam War:
Kentucky theater won't show 'Butler' because of Jane Fonda:
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/ky-theater-wont-show-butler-because-fonda-172945734.html
Kentucky theater won't show 'Butler' because of Jane Fonda:
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/ky-theater-wont-show-butler-because-fonda-172945734.html
"So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playing workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda"
Playing workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda"
Friday, August 16, 2013
Relationships Reminder
Sometimes we need this reminder, so that we enjoy our relationships! :)
You're in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories. Not to constantly be upset, hurting, and crying.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Sad Songs, Wrong Time
One of the things that slapped me in the face after my Mom passed away was people wanted me to listen to slow, sad songs.
I have to tell you, the last thing I wanted to do was listen to a song that would make me cry.
I was already a complete mess, the last thing I wanted to do was hear songs that would make me bawl like a baby.
When my friends prepared my Mom's Celebration of Life at a local restaurant I frequented, I was walking around looking at all the things they had prepared. It was beautiful, and the set up and planning was extremely moving to me. I was impressed and I know my Mom would have been very grateful.
I also walked by the "karaoke" area (I was very familiar with the interface of the music) - and I noticed the songs that were already set up to be played next in line. While I don't remember them all, I remember that the 5 songs were all super sappy songs, and I deleted them right away and instead went through the long list to choose "happier, fun" songs to be played in the background.
For instance, one song listed on the monitor I REALLY knew I didn't want to hear and it was "Winds Beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler. Heck, this song makes me cry every time I heard it when I wasn't grieving, so to hear it this day would have prolly killed me. I deleted it immediately.
A few friends recommended I listen to some songs in the months after my Mom's passing and I never listened to them. I don't WANT to hear songs that make me cry; I cry enough on my own. It's already so brutal, and hearing sad songs makes it worse quite frankly.
I don't know if everyone who loses someone close feels this way, but I learned the hard way I can't handle sappy songs that remind me about losing my Mom.
Granted, even the songs my Mom loved make me cry. She loved Amy Whinehouse, so I can't hear any of those songs. There is one song that makes me SMILE from ear to ear, and that's "Just Fine" by Mary J. Blige. I can remember my Mom dancing by herself so gleefully with happiness when that song came on - she loved that song and it just made her want to dance!
But please don't make me listen to sad songs.
I have to tell you, the last thing I wanted to do was listen to a song that would make me cry.
I was already a complete mess, the last thing I wanted to do was hear songs that would make me bawl like a baby.
When my friends prepared my Mom's Celebration of Life at a local restaurant I frequented, I was walking around looking at all the things they had prepared. It was beautiful, and the set up and planning was extremely moving to me. I was impressed and I know my Mom would have been very grateful.
I also walked by the "karaoke" area (I was very familiar with the interface of the music) - and I noticed the songs that were already set up to be played next in line. While I don't remember them all, I remember that the 5 songs were all super sappy songs, and I deleted them right away and instead went through the long list to choose "happier, fun" songs to be played in the background.
For instance, one song listed on the monitor I REALLY knew I didn't want to hear and it was "Winds Beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler. Heck, this song makes me cry every time I heard it when I wasn't grieving, so to hear it this day would have prolly killed me. I deleted it immediately.
A few friends recommended I listen to some songs in the months after my Mom's passing and I never listened to them. I don't WANT to hear songs that make me cry; I cry enough on my own. It's already so brutal, and hearing sad songs makes it worse quite frankly.
I don't know if everyone who loses someone close feels this way, but I learned the hard way I can't handle sappy songs that remind me about losing my Mom.
Granted, even the songs my Mom loved make me cry. She loved Amy Whinehouse, so I can't hear any of those songs. There is one song that makes me SMILE from ear to ear, and that's "Just Fine" by Mary J. Blige. I can remember my Mom dancing by herself so gleefully with happiness when that song came on - she loved that song and it just made her want to dance!
But please don't make me listen to sad songs.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Extremely Touching Words from Dustin Hoffman
I see things all the time on Pinterest and Facebook.
Click. Read.
or
Click. View.
Then you go back to perusing FB or then you go on to other things in your life.
This time, it was different.
Click. View. React. Can't believe what I'm hearing. Can't wait to share. Very moving.
Here is the intro from Upworthy.com:
Back in the day, for those of you younger folk, Dustin Hoffman made a movie called "Tootsie." It was a hilarious and touching movie about an actor who can't get a gig, decides to become a woman to see if it helps, and scores a role on a soap opera. Hilarity ensued. But it was more than just a comedy. Here's why.
Click. Read.
or
Click. View.
Then you go back to perusing FB or then you go on to other things in your life.
This time, it was different.
Click. View. React. Can't believe what I'm hearing. Can't wait to share. Very moving.
Here is the intro from Upworthy.com:
Dustin Hoffman Breaks Down Crying Explaining Something That Every Woman Sadly Already Experienced
Back in the day, for those of you younger folk, Dustin Hoffman made a movie called "Tootsie." It was a hilarious and touching movie about an actor who can't get a gig, decides to become a woman to see if it helps, and scores a role on a soap opera. Hilarity ensued. But it was more than just a comedy. Here's why.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Grief Effects
When you lose someone close to you, it affects you in many ways. I have recently found that there are 4 common themes that affect people after the first year of the loss of someone close to you, that many people go through.
Everyone is different. But these seem to be common among my friends and I:
1. Friendship is tested. I think it's a distraction from the pain and suffering. Others think it's God's way of letting you know who really is and isn't a friend to you. You will lose friends after you lose a loved one. I almost can't explain it; but it happens.
2. We make big, altering decisions in our life. Decisions maybe we only "considered" before; but didn't have the heart to do it (for whatever reason). We don't make these decisions because we think life is short after you just lost a loved one; it's because you see you don't have to be unhappy in this short life. Death is tough; ending a marriage is easier to do after that (for example). It gives you strength.
3. Your personality changes while you grieve; you aren't the same person. You lose friends; you lose touch at work; your relationships suffer. You simply aren't yourself. Eventually, you'll get back to being yourself, but it does take time if the loved one you lost meant the world to you. If you were happy-go-lucky, you might be distant for a while. If you were a loner, you might go out more. If you were bubbly, you will find you need some alone time. And that's okay! Eventually, your "previous" personality will come back. Just don't be surprised when people ask, "where is the old you?"
4. Your work is affected. Most of us who are grieving WANT to come to work to get away from being home alone. But, our work suffers. We are distant, don't smile, don't engage with others, become hermits at work. It affects your performance. You get things done still, but it's not with the same enthusiasm you had before.
Like I said, everyone is different. But I have noticed after talking with friends who have lost someone close to them, that the 4 above "themes" are very common.
Give yourself some time.
Grief is only temporary, but can last years at different levels. Don't be surprised about that, either. You will survive and you will return a stronger person!
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