But seeing that I have been a caretaker for most of my life, I admit I am getting tired of all the crap I'm getting for not being there for them, and other expectations of me... some of which I didn't know anything about until they expressed to me how disappointed they are with me and me not being there for them.
Like I don't have enough crap going on with myself and now I feel even worse.
If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it about me, to me. I can't handle anymore.
I have enough going on.
It's not that I don't want to be there for my friends, but if I'm not there for you and your expectations (which I knew nothing about til they made me feel bad), then I am truly sorry. I just have a lot going on right now and can barely keep myself alive, much less be there for my friends and all these things I was expected to do.
Sorry if I'm sounding selfish, but there are times in our lives where we NEED to be selfish because we have put everyone else first for so many years. And going through depression, it isn't in my being to even help others like they expect right now.
I can barely function as it is.
Please, though, don't make me feel bad by telling me I have disappointed you. I can't handle any more. Really. I feel like I'm being kicked while I'm already down.
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