Break Up After an Argument

I've mentioned a few times that I watch "Iynala Fix my life," a TV show that's on Saturday nights on the OWN Channel. The show has been pretty much transforming for me and I highly recommend it.

Of course if you start crying at home on a Saturday night too, lol, you can blame me. But I wont feel bad for you at all! Instead, I will be very happy for you because of how much you will start learning about yourself and why your relationships are the way they are, which will be very beneficial to you and those around you.

Let me state again that the show shares how our childhood, or how we were raised, or how our parents acted makes a direct impact on us as adults.

And this clearly hit me full in the face the other day when I thought of something from my childhood.

One of my very first boyfriend's was a guy from early middle school named Reagan. I thought that was pretty cool at the time because Ronald Reagan was our president and I was too young to comprehend how this guy's first name was Ronald Reagan's last name, lol.

He lived in a community where the kids didn't have parents. It wasn't like a foster home, it was more like a community-type place that housed a lot of kids. And each went to the local schools in the area.

Anyway, one of the ladies who worked at his community drove to my house and gave me flowers on Valentine's Day from him. As I reflect back, that was really quite impressive if you think about having that type of awareness at such a young age to have someone drive flowers to their girlfriend of two weeks who you hadn't even kissed yet lol.

At some point in this very short relationship, we had an argument. I don't remember what the argument was about at all, but after the argument, I assumed that meant we were broken up now! 

And I think this goes directly to what we see as a child.

I don't recall seeing my parents argue, but the last time I saw them together they were not getting along, and the next thing I knew Dad didn't come by the house anymore and they were divorced. So being the naïve child that I was, I therefore thought that when you get into an argument, you break up.

Luckily he explained that it was just an argument and couples don't break up automatically because of that. Whew! Thank goodness, as I think we lasted a couple of more weeks, at least, lol.

I was really lucky he was smart enough at the time to explain to me why we weren't broken up, instead of just being a typical young teenager and just being mad at me.

Hmm, this guy sounds pretty awesome now that I reflect back - I wonder where he is??  Just kidding!  I don't even remember his last name or even what grade we were in.

I want to add that these reflections and understanding of why we do things as adults because of our childhood helps us in our future relationships.  So, don't think that you are ill-fated for relationship doom lol.  Instead, understand that becoming aware of what you saw and felt as child can help you make different decisions in your adult/future relationships, if it's needed.

And the point is of this blog point is to give an example that what happened in my relationship was directly related to viewing my parents' relationship.  Just what Iyanla talks about on the her show.  Pretty cool!