Grandma Bailey Mailing Label

I really loved my Grandma Bailey.  

She lived in Santa Rosa, Texas, just a spit and a throw from the border of Mexico in south Texas, surrounded by vast acres of farm land.

When I would mail her cards of gifts when I was in my teens, I sent them to "Grandma Bailey. "  

Like, literally

Grandma Bailey

P.O. Box 1234

Santa Rosa, Texas

She would tell me later,  "the mailman came by and would yell to her through the screen door:  "is there a Grandma Bailey here?"  and she would laugh as she told the story at family gatherings.

I never understood for years why that was funny, but I just smiled along as she told the story.

But you see. ... As a child I never knew her first name.   So the words I put on the label were what I called her: "Grandma."

I didn't know until I was in my late teens that her REAL name was Virginia.  Virgina Bailey.

Now as I reflect back I see just how fun and funny that was!

And how cool it was my Mom or Dad never corrected the label :)

 Grandma with my Mom

Grandma with my Dad, his Mom

Sharing Sadness from the Past?

I think I got used to telling people my sad life story.

Found my Dad passed away.
Mom was very sick and I took care of her the last 4 years of her life.
She passed away - my reason for living.
Then my biological Dad passed away.
I'm only child, so now I am have no one left.

It's a real sad, drab story.  I live alone, no roommate, or siblings and now no relatives left.

Just me.

Luckily I have God and my love (Lily, a ferocious white pitbull).

But as I tell my sob story to others, they all show empathy and can relate sometimes on some level.  Want to hug me (even strangers), want to adopt me, etc.  They are pained by my heartbreaks.

And then one day I was swapping sad stories with a lady I had just met at dinner and she finally says, "stop, there's really not more is there?  That's enough sad talk."

It dawned on me right then and there that while I have been eager to share my woes and my "look at all the bad things that have happened to me" stories with others, maybe they don't want to hear it.

Maybe, just maybe, they would rather I talk about what a loving child I was, or how I was raised in the Hill Country along the Frio River, or that I have a great job that I love, or that I'm a State and National Billiards Champion.

All these years of pain all I wanted to do was share my heartache.  Get some sympathy or empathy, I guess.  It was what I lived and breathed every day so it was what I wanted to talk about.  Instead, it makes sense: why would anyone want to hear about so much pain?

Sure, share with me your heartache and I can relate with all that has happened in my life.  But what if we swap awesome stories instead?  What if I never even mention how horrible my holidays are again to anyone?  What if I just share all the blessings in my life and STOP with the insistent sharing of all the loss and deaths and sadness for the last 7 years?

Bicentennial Park

Lily and I visited a new park last weekend.  Bicentennial Park in/near Burleson, Texas. 

I really liked it and it had a cute little stream!  I'll be heading back without Lily so I can explore more and longer.

HorseBack Riding

Finally was able to go horse back riding!  Fit it in for my birthday week-long celebration (lol). 

Been wanting to for a while now - love the outdoors, love horses, love the idea of something different.

Marshall Creek Ranch near Trophy Club in Southlake, Texas.

Grapevine Lake is still up (too high) so we didn't get to walk near the lake (dammit) but it was still fun..

Here is Titan and I who took care of me:

The Emotional Aftermath of Cancer (article)

I highly recommend this good read.  It's very a poignant article about what people with cancer (and their family) go through after they are deemed "cancer-free."

It's a great article to be aware of in general for any illness/disease. 

Eye-opening!

So, I'm posting it on my blog as a reminder for myself, and also so I can find it again to share with friends that may need it.

http://news.yahoo.com/emotional-aftermath-cancer-154419807.html

February's are Tough

My Aunt's birthday (who passed in 2011, same year as my Mom) was born this month.  My Mom's only sibling.  I bet they are arguing in heaven about who had the worst childhood lol!

My StepDads' birthday (who was my "Dad" for 25 years).  He would have been 65 this month. 

And my biological Dad passed just last year this same stupid month.  Gonna be tough, tough when that day comes around soon here in Feb.  And I miss his voice and advice dearly.  :(   He was my last relative I could call;  there's no one left to call now.

Is it March yet?

Let it be March already!  Warmer weather, no deathveries, or birthdays of loved ones who have passed. 

Asking for help might be the strongest thing you ever do

Excerpt from this article:

LOVE this:

"It's like a mirror, it really is," Leaf said Thursday on The Afternoon Show with Tim Cowlishaw and Matt Mosley on KESN 103.3 FM. "I listen to and hear stuff that's being said and what's going on and it's like a mirror for me. I can relate to so many things ... There's a solution. There always is but it's so hard to see when you're on this pedestal and [think] you don't need help. You don't need to be vulnerable because you're a big, strong football player and help means [being] weak. It doesn't. Asking for help might be the strongest thing you ever do...."