Who You Want to Be Around

I expressed to a friend that I was having some difficulties accepting that it's really okay to not want to be around negative people or rude people or stressful people; people that bring me down.

I heard that our tolerance for things (and people) goes down in our 40s.  Boy, I can RELATE!  

I want to be around people that make me smile, bring me peace, and are positive and make me happy.

HOWEVER.  Before he and I had this convo I'm about to share, I would have worded that statement as: I can't tolerate being around people that bring me down.

Do you see the difference?  One is actually more positive.  And explaining who I DO want to be around and how I WANT to feel.

Here is what he said that really helped me view things in a different way:

I've decided I only want to hang with the good people in our industry.

As you get older, you definitely come to realize there are precious few people really worth sharing your time with.  I always tell people, "I've only got so many minutes and so many words left in me. I'm not going to waste either on people I don't really want to be with."

As for the "tolerance" issue… I prefer not to look at it as a lack of tolerance. That's for crusty, grouchy old farts…of which there are many.  I prefer to think of it as finding a certain peace and piece of mind that leads us to finally really understand what and who are important.  At that point, that's all that matters.

I think of intolerant people as being on edge and spring loaded.  I've become the opposite.  Much more relaxed, laid back.  Big difference.

I don't have time, nor do I want to expend the energy, to dislike people.  I just don't allow them space in my life.  I focus on the things and people that make me happy.