Maya Angelou's Best Poem Ever

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one old love she can imagine going back to...
and one who reminds her how far she has come...

A WOMAN! SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control
to move out and rent a place of her own
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear
if the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough
that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe
for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish
in a day... a month... and a year...

CPR Rules for Bystanders

There has been a major change by the American Heart Association’s procedures for CPR for bystanders. The new hands-only CPR which involves rapid, deep presses on the victim’s chest, are all that are needed until help arrives.

Experts hope bystanders will now be more willing to jump in and help if they see someone suddenly collapse.

Bystanders only have to do two things. Call 911 and push hard and fast on the middle of the person’s chest. Hands-only calls for uninterrupted chest presses – 100 a minute – until paramedics take over or and automatic external defibrillator is available to restore a normal heart rhythm.

For an Adult: In such a case when the heart suddenly stops, the victim still has ample air in the lungs and blood, compressions keep blood flowing to the brain, heart and other organs.

For a Child: If a child collapses they are more likely to have breathing problems. In this case mouth-to-mouth breathing should be used combined with compressions.

Special Situations: Adults who suffer from lack of oxygen from a near-drowning, drug overdose, or carbon monoxide poisoning, need mouth-to-mouth to get air into their lungs and bloodstream.

I Know What I Should Do....

I know what I should do, but do I have the strength to do it? I don't think so; it's easier to stay as is.... but I FULLY admit I''m tired of it.

You would think I would have strength, but so many pieces of me don't want to... so it makes it so much tougher.

Curls

I got a perm on Saturday. Was scared to death!

I have been wearing my hair wavy, instead of straightening it like I had been for the last 9 years or so - seems the consensus is the "waves" are preferred.

However, I couldn't get the waves to "stick" for more than one day. How does one solve that? By getting a perm.

I was nervous, but LOVED the way it looked after wards! And my hair is SUPER, SUPER soft for some reason! However, she cut about an inch or so off all around and that is the part I really don't like. :(

I don't know if the perm will solve my concerns, though, because after only two days it just seems bushy on top and less curly. Hmm... what did I do?!?!

Anyone Seen My Patience?

Wow, what has gotten into ME? I have been short on patience lately. I do not know why. I used to snap at people, but for the last few years, I didn't do it that often. I learned to keep my mouth shut, be more respectful, not show my true feelings and not snap out words without thinking first.

But in the last several days I have been very snappy. Frustrated with stupid shit at work, tolerance level for people not understanding me at an all-time low, not enough sleep isn't helping, me not figuring out what is really bothering me is adding to it all I suppose.

While I am taking some things wrong (admittedly), I just usually don't say anything out loud but lately I have actually mumbled my dislike for the words I am reading or the words I *think* I am hearing.

I just don't have time for stupid $hit right now, lol. But, that doesn't mean I have to take it out on others, right? That was the old ME.

I am really, really short on time right now and there is A LOT going on around me (drama, arguments, chaos, many people in the hospital and/or very sick, etc.) but I don't know if that is what is making me so short-tempered with things. I honestly don't know, but I don't like it; it's not like me at all.

I hope it goes away soon!

First Mediation

I took a class last year to get certified in mediation. It was a great class -long days, but I learned a lot not only about mediation but about why most problems occur (communication).

Well, tomorrow will be my first time to mediate! I am a little nervous but also excited about the opportunity to help the parties.

Sometimes no agreement is reached, and mediation is not a comfortable situation for the parties.

I hope I don't screw up my duties.

Update: The two parties settled on an agreement the night before the mediation date so YAY! That's awesome for them! I have already been assigned a new case Feb 18th, will get to test out my training then. ;)

Jealousy - How to Stop It

I found this (cut and pasted below) about How to Stop Jealousy and wanted to share! It's from


Jealousy is when you react negatively towards the possibility of losing what you have to someone else. Unlike envy, it usually involves three people, rather than just two: you, the person who has what you want, and the person who threatens to take it away. It's an unhealthy habit that can make any kind of relationship crumble; if you're a jealous person, you've probably already seen how much damage it can do. But at the core of jealousy are some fears and expectations that are hard to shake, unless you make a conscious effort to cast them away.

Steps

1. Observe what triggers your jealousy. Certain situations will trigger an image or possibility in your mind that you dread. What are the images and possibilities that pop into your head when jealousy strikes?
   
   
   • romantic partner interacting with others (co-worker, ex, friend, etc.) - fear of partner cheating with someone who is "better" than you in some way
   • child seeming to prefer the company of another adult - insecurity about whether you're doing a good job as a parent
   • parent paying attention to their new partner - fear that the parent will not spend any time with you anymore
   • friend spending time with other people - fear that the friend will prefer the other people and will not want to spend time with you anymore
   • someone else getting a promotion that you want - insecurity over unmet expectations
     
     
2. Bite your tongue. When you feel jealousy taking over, don't react in a destructive way. Don't accuse and don't give the silent treatment. If your partner is talking to someone else, leave them be. Do what a completely trusting person would do in your shoes, even if it makes you feel crazy. Jealous behavior can bring any kind of relationship to its knees, so nip it in the bud. Make time to discuss, using nonviolent communication, what made you feel jealous later, when the strong feelings of jealousy have passed, and you're not as likely to overreact.
   
   
3. Recognize that jealousy is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you behave jealously, you don't respond to someone's behavior--you respond to what you believe someone's behavior implies. In other words, you're reacting to a scenario in your mind that you fear, but that hasn't happened yet, and might not happen at all. By playing with another adult, for example, your child isn't doing something inherently wrong. Neither is your partner who calls to offer condolences to their ex whose mother just died. But your negative reaction to what you believe their behavior implies (that someone else is somehow better than or more important than you) will make the person feel defensive and paranoid, because they're being accused of doing something bad. The more defensive and paranoid they get, the more suspicious and jealous you get. It's a vicious cycle that's difficult to reverse.
   
   
4. Build self confidence. Jealousy is usually a by-product of insecurity and low self-esteem. Sometimes it's a deep-rooted fear of abandonment that someone will leave you, or withdraw their love or attention from you because you're "not good enough"--if so, you need to learn that other people's behavior and lives are not a reflection on you. Confident people know that even when they are rejected or ridiculed, it's not always because they failed; sometimes people are just short-sighted. And even if they do fail, it doesn't reduce their worth; it simply means they need to learn something new.
   
   
5. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Some people seem to have it all, but be realistic--does anyone really lead a problem-free life? They might seem to lead a comfortable life (as many wealthy people do) but it's not always a fulfilling life. And even beautiful, successful celebrities have emotional breakdowns, get cheated on, struggle with addictions, get arrested, and lose their fortunes. Make friends with someone who you think has it all--sincerely take an interest in their lives--and you'll eventually discover that they have their hidden struggles. But they don't live their lives constantly worried that someone else will come along and take away everything that gives them joy; their lives aren't characterized by jealousy. Learn from them.
   
   
6. Stop feeling entitled to all of a person's time. If you get jealous when you see someone you care about interacting with or spending time with someone other than you, then you need to consider "How much of this person's time do I really want?" It's understandable if you want to spend a certain amount of quality time with your partner, child, parent, or friend. If they're not spending any time with you, then your concerns are valid. But if they spend a good deal of time with you but you never feel like it's enough, and deep down you'd prefer it if you were together all the time, then it's not healthy. Find other activities, and other people to do them with, to fill your time.
   
   
7. Trust. If you get jealous easily, you've probably had your trust broken. Most of the time, the trust was broken in the past, and you inadvertently project your fear of being hurt again onto someone else. The question you need to ask yourself is whether this person (the person who you worry will hurt you) has ever done anything to break your trust in the past. If the answer is no, then it's important to give them credit for that, and not treat him or her like a criminal. If the person has broken your trust in the past, then it's time to forgive, or else jealousy will ruin the relationship. Period.
   
   
8. Be positive. Ultimately, jealousy is a fear-based behavior. You're spending a lot of time worrying about something bad that hasn't happened yet, and might not happen at all. In doing so, you're increasing the likelihood of bad things happening by fostering suspicion and distrust. Try to focus on the positive, instead. Be thankful for what you have. And remember that if someone is going to hurt you, there's nothing you can do to stop it anyway. No amount of nagging, monitoring, accusation, snooping, or guarding will prevent you from being hurt. If you believe in someone, believe in them completely; give them all your trust. The benefit of the doubt is essential for any relationship to work. And if you really don't trust them, if you really feel that the person is weak, deceptive, or otherwise untrustworthy, then don't associate with them. You deserve better.

Tips

• Always examine your jealous thoughts for a sense of entitlement. Whatever it is that someone is getting and you're not (thus sparking jealousy) is something that you feel entitled to; something that you feel is rightfully yours. Instead of trying to convince someone (through jealous behavior) that they should give you what you want, think of ways you can earn it. Focus on being a good person.
  
  
• Don't act upset that someone spends time with someone else, even if you are- focus on having a good time with them instead. The best way to make someone spend even more time away from you is to act jealous- when you're being angry, snarky or sarcastic because someone is infringing on /your/ relationship, you're not only not fun to be around, you're making the person feel that you think you own them.

Warnings

• Overcoming jealousy will take time. Be patient with yourself.
• Jealousy is not always a bad thing. It is a fear-based emotion that can be harmful in excess like all emotions. But it can also be a warning that you are sensing danger, such as the danger of losing something you need or enjoy. Don't dismiss any of your emotions without understanding them first.
• Never let your feelings of jealousy push you to abuse someone, verbally or physically.

Movies, 2008

Here are all the movies I saw at the movie theaters in 2008:

27 Dresses
The Spiderwick Chronicles
The Other Boleyn Girl
10,000 b.C.
Iron Man
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom or the Crystal Skull
Sex and the City: The Movie
Wall-E
Wanted
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Journey to the Center of the Earth (in 3-D)
The Dark Knight
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Tropic Thunder
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Burn After Reading
Eagle Eye
Body of Lies
Saw V
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Bolt
Doubt
Slumdog Millionaire
Four Christmases

My top 3 picks for 2008 of the movies I saw above: Slumdog Millionaire, Eagle Eyes, Body Lies, and Wall-E

Birthdays

Birthdays are so important to those that are having a Birthday. I should remember that when other's Birthdays come up. I used to be good at it, but now I am not. But, I know what it feels like when people don't remember my day, so I need to ensure I remember their day.

I had a GREAT Birthday weekend! And tomorrow my coworkers are taking me to have mexican food for lunch and then for dinner I am going to Ruth's Chris' Steak House! Yummy!!

I have to admit, I don't feel my age, but am scared of saying my new age (starting tomorrow) out loud for the first time in my life.