Life Through My Eyes

The other day I was talking to a good friend of mine about life.

You see, people think I've had a tough life.  And I have.  But, if you see the view from my eyes, you will see it's not a depressing life I've had.

Sure, I've had a lot of sad/bad/unfortunate things happen in my life, but it's the way I view these things that I feel make me a non-bitter survivor.

I don't wish for people to feel sad for me when they hear that as a child I used to sleep on the kitchen floor because it was the coolest spot in the house.  The cold tiled floor was awesome in the summer as a child.  And I didn't mind the large roaches flying above me in the middle of the night.  I had a house to live in, and a cold floor!

I don't wish anyone to ever find a loved one passed away, but I did.  I visited my parents one weekend a little different:  normally I drive down from Dallas to San Antonio on a Friday but this weekend I planned a few months in advance to fly down a day early so I could get an extra day with them.  The very first night, my Dad passed away in his sleep.  My Mom and I found him in his room.

Don't feel bad this happened, because from my point of view, it was a miracle I was there with my Mom!  I am an only child and we were together during one of the most traumatic times of our loves.  She wasn't alone.  It truly was a miracle I was there a day early.

Further, I view everything as a learning experience.  And a few months later, a good friend from Florida found her Mom passed away.  No one else could relate to her emotions and feelings or the process of dealing with a deceased person who they found.  I was able to empathize completely with what she was going through.

When my Mom passed away after a tough five years of health problems, don't feel sorry for my that I lost my best friend.  Don't feel sorry for me that I had to make the decision to take her off the breathing machine, or that I had to put her in hospice.  She gave me a gift and told me her wishes; those wishes were specific.  I was her voice, when she couldn't speak.

How is this a bad thing?

She wanted me by her side when she passed, too, and I will never forget I gave her her last wish by being there alone with her in hospice.  It was an excruciating experience, but I would never have it any other way.  We were together!

Sure, I grieved deeply and was numb and depressed and kept isolated for two full years (and more), but I did that because I loved my Mom and missed her with all my might.  Because we had a great, close, loving relationship, is the reason I mourned so much. 

From my eyes - that's a blessing, too!

It's all perspective.

I could tell you even more heartbreaking stories of things I had to endure growing up and in my life.  But, you might see them as bad things that happened to me.

I just don't see bad things that happened to me, though. They are just things that happened.

I view what I went through as learning experiences; living life; growing from them.

And from eyes, I am not bitter, angry, mad, nor feel sorry for myself.

Whether to help others with what I've been through, or to see things from a different perspective, growing and learning is what life is all about (IMHO).

That's what I see from where I'm standing.