Speech for My Mom

Although my Mom did not want a service, my friends and neighbors wanted to hold a Celebration of Life for my Mom, Toni.  I obliged.  And, although it was a very, very emotionally tough day, I am glad I agreed.

I wanted to say some words about my Mom.  And here is the speech I wrote a few days before the Celebration of Life, and no, I did not make it through without crying.  :(

I read it slow, and deliberate. 

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Toni Bailey, My Mom

The past week has been brutal.  Every song on the radio is about death, love, missing someone, etc.  I turned to another station on the drive over here, and Sweet Child of Mine was playing.  Ugh.  I was hoping Baby Got Back would come on or something.

I want to start off by first thanking my dear neighbor, David.  It was no accident that out of all the houses in Fort Worth, Mom and I picked a house next to a Chaplin.  God was watching over us.  David would visit Mom EVERY SINGLE time she was in the hospital.  Even sometimes every other day.  Mom cherished his prayers and visits more than I can say.

I want to thank everyone for being here.  I hate to impose on anyone and it feels real weird you all are here, but at the same time I SO appreciate the love and support I feel.

I’m not sure if Mom would be honored or ticked off right now to see you all here. haha

Mom was born in Up State New York and lived there until she went to college.  As a child and growing up, she was surrounded by beautiful mountains, amazing scenery, snow-filled winters, and nature galore.  I remember as a child when we would visit my Grandfather (her beloved Dad) that we would get sap from maple trees for syrup.

My Mom was THE most important person in my life.  She took care of me on her own when my real father had to leave back in 1976.  Yes, I know, some of you weren’t even born yet.

Back then, it wasn’t easy to take care of a child on your own – my Mom couldn’t even buy a car without being married back in the 1970s. She met my Dad (Tom Bailey) in 1980 or so, and shortly thereafter they got married.  

I was born in Okinawa, Japan (I know, I don’t look Japanese) but Mom and I moved to San Antonio in 1972, and she lived there til 2008.  She lived in San Antonio for Thirty Six years.

My Mom owned some land in the Texas Hill Country (only about an hour and 15 minutes from our house in San Antonio) and we would go there almost every single weekend from when I was 8 to about 16 years old.  You know, 16, that’s about the age we don’t want to go on family vacations anymore.

My Mom used to check the weather starting on Wednesdays to see if the weather was good enough for us to go to The River for the upcoming weekend.  I finally told her one day, "Mom, I'll just become a meteorologist and tell you the weather."  And as many of you know, that is my now profession and has been for 20 years.

I “grew up” along the Frio River.  Beautiful country side filled with awesome oak trees, lots of deer and other animals, and a great river to swim and tube in.  I love and desire nature so much now because I grew up in such a beautiful place with my Mom.  I have so many fond, amazing memories of Mom and I tubing, cooking out, knocking over deer blinds, and wandering the country side together looking for cool rocks or cool animals. 

When my Mom sent me off to college at Texas A&M, it was harder on her than me.  She cried for days.  Her little girl was gone.  But after college I moved back to San Antonio for my job and lived there til about 1998.  I saw my parents often and spoke to them on the phone every other day.

When I moved to Fort Worth in 2000, I had been in Jacksonville, FL for 2 years for work.  I flew my Mom to Florida so she could help me drive back to Texas.  We had walkie talkies and would talk back and forth while she had the dog in the car and I had the cats in my truck.  Yes, cell phones weren't common yet even back in 2000.  We had a great time taking three leisurely days back to Texas.  Yes, I said three days, lol.

Mom had her first long stay in a San Antonio hospital back in 2007.   My Dad passed 5 months later.

Mom and I bought a house together in Fort Worth and moved there in March 2008.  It was the first time she had a house with central air and carpet.  I was a very proud daughter.  :)

Mom had advance emphysema and she struggled through it very proudly and with a lot of strength. She HATED the hospital and wanted to be home so badly every time she had to go in.  

Mom didn’t get out much because she had to wear oxygen 24/hours a day, and she didn’t want people to see her like that.  But one of our last trips outside the home was to Macy’s and Carrabbas just in July. At Macy’s she bought some make-up and loafers.  She also wanted a new purse.  She only wanted the best (she wouldn’t listen to me that we could find a cheaper purse at Target or Walmart).  I pushed her around the store in her little wheel chair and we got all of her goodies.  As I got her in the car, and all of our things, I realized we had not paid for her new purse!  Yep, Mom and Daughter clepto-team.  Now you know the truth about us!  We were so scared people would come running out to arrest us, that we fled the scene!  But, admittedly, she loved that purse.

Mom’s wishes were not to be in a nursing home, not to pass away in a hospital, have me by her side, and to pass away peacefully and not in pain.  She got every wish.

While we sat together in Hospice, I put sunglasses on her. She looked like a rock star!  I held her hand, cried, described the pictures on the wall to her, cried, talked about The River, told her over and over again how much I loved her.  I sure wish she could have responded to me.  :(

She means more to me than anything and I will never be the same.  

My Mom gave up a lot of sacrifices for me.  I only saw the best Mom in the world who loved her daughter with all her might.  She also loved animals.  She worked at the humane society after she retired and she would get angry at the customers when they treated their pets badly.  Mom was ”talked to” several times for her attitude, lol.  But, she cared for animals deeply.

In the hospital she would tell all the nurses I was her favorite daughter.  Then I would have to add, “I’m her only daughter” and we would all laugh.

My Mom had a huge heart, was very caring, loved people with all her might, cherished that I had such great friends, and we were best friends.  I could talk to her about anything.  Yep, even sex.  Right, Brian? 

Her unconditional love for me is something I will treasure the rest of my life.  She told me on many occasions I was the love of her life.  And I would hug her tightly and say, “you too.” 

If you got to meet my lovely Mom, I think you are truly blessed.  She was one in a million.  And this has been the hardest week of my life.