Loyce is my childhood best friend. She is also the only person from my high school who I kept in touch with all these years. I have known her longer than any other friend.
I called her Mom, Mom, and she called my parents, Mom and Dad. We would visit each others' homes like they were our own all through high school.
We were so close that at one point my parents sat me down and asked if we were "together" and if we were, that it would be okay. Back in the late 1980s, that was unheard of to be accepting of that, and I admire they wanted to talk to me about it, but no, we did not have that type of relationship. Loyce and I were best friends and more like the sister I never had.
Why did they even ask me that? I had been buying things for her, little gifts or needs and when I bought something for myself, I would buy her something similar. My family did not have a lot of money when I was growing up, and her family had even less money (way less). And as I would figure out later in life - I had started my routine early in life of buying things for loved ones as a way to show my love (this would turn into a very bad trait from my 20s to my mid 40s when I spent WAY too much on boyfriends buying their love, in lieu of "buying for loved ones" - which is for another blog discussion some day).
As teenagers, her and I had numerous, very funny but could-have-been-scary situations that we found ourselves in. Yes, some might have involved alcohol, one a tractor, a few about boys, but otherwise many great car rides and laughter in my little white Toyota Corolla for many years, riding around happy and free, invincible teenagers.
Her laugh was amazing and contagious. Her smile unforgettable! I never saw her get upset, I only remember miles of smile, laughter, and happiness. She held her head high when her brother was found murdered under a bridge (it was ruled a suicide but it was impossible to hold a shotgun that way, and the family knew it was murder), when her sister moved away, and when eventually her Mom passed. Her Mom also was pretty and had a beautiful smile and a great personality!
When I was in college, Loyce contacted me and shared she was a Mom! She shared an unbelievable story. She was having terrible pains one morning and thought maybe it was real bad constipation. But the pain got so bad, she went to the ER. Turns out she was in labor! Very skinny girls or big girls eventually stop having their period and she hadn't had hers in years. Plus, she thought she could not get pregnant, but she did! Her and her long-time boyfriend were very happy! She also shared that when she was in the hospital, the other mothers there would talk about things such as waddling or a discoloration under the belly, etc - and she would exclaim, I had those, too! It was all making sense.
Years later, eventually her daughter would give her two grand-babies. I was so happy Loyce had a loving family around her - the love her Mom had for her was very obvious and beautiful, and I was happy she had that as well. Loyce was a loving woman with a heart of gold.
Here she is with her daughter, Shanice:
We used to write letters (remember those?) as I would eventually leave the hard, poor streets of San Antonio to go to college in College Station, Texas, then move to San Marcus, Texas for my job, then Jacksonville, FL for a promotion, and then finally to the Fort Worth area. She would add stickers all over the cards and letters, and always send photos along! Her style of keeping in touch was so cute!
Here is my FAVE photo of her that she sent me, when she worked at QVC. She is SO beautiful, right?:
Eventually, we turned to email and no more stickers, dang it, but we were able to keep in touch easier. And then of course FaceBook allowed us to see each other on the computer screen, as I didn't go to back San Antonio for any long enough stays to visit, I'm afraid.
Back to this tugging feeling. I am one of those people that when someone passes away, I can sometimes sense it in my soul and heart. I can't explain it at all. It's never a premonition, more of after someone passes away who is close to me, I can sense it. I feel a different sort of way. It's not even a feeling, just an overwhelm-ness,
Unfortunately, this sense recently was about my childhood Loyce, and the feeling was true: she had passed away.
I don't venture on Facebook that much anymore, but last night decided to get online to see if she was okay. Instead, I discovered she had passed away on her 51st birthday, just last month.
I cried out loud, uncontrollably crying. I knew in my heart she had passed and it hurt so badly. I missed telling her one more time that I loved her.
Two years ago, Loyce went through a traumatic experience. Both of her legs had to be amputated due to diabetes. I cried and cried and was so distraught hearing that. Yet, in all her photos and messages, she was always upbeat, positive, happy, constantly smiling, and I never saw one single complaint! And she didn't shy away from going out with friends for special occasion (like her birthday - her friends showered her every year on her birthday!).
On Loyce's 50th birthday with her daughter, Shanice.
I know she is smiling in Heaven with our Moms! She is no longer suffering and in pain. And I can only imagine she hated to be taken care of her, and now she is in God's hands being free and smiling.
RIP Loyce. You will be missed beyond words.
