Honey and Dear

I have been recently baffled by the claws that come out when a female uses common, everyday words to a male, when that male has a significant other.

A friend of mine calls ALL her friends (guys or girls) "Honey" when she texts them or comments on their posts on FB.  When she uses that verb, she's just being friendly and nice.  She has a HUGE heart and she's indicating her care for another person when she uses the word.  It does NOT mean she wants to be with the person.... AT ALL.  She's just really nice.

She texted a male friend about an event coming up with their work.  She said something like, "Hey Honey, are you bringing that table to event on Tuesday?"  She meant no disrespect and was only trying to find the answer for her boss.

Later that night, she received an answer: "My wife doesn't appreciate you calling me Honey so please don't text me again.  Yes, I'm bringing the table."

My friend was taken aback because she meant no harm or disrespect, she was just being herself, honestly. 

I tried to explain that using that word to a married man whether intentional or not is not well received by some females.

I suppose if I think about all this, because I myself am greener than most people, I would also prolly get upset if a pretty female called my husband or boyfriend "honey."  Especially if I didn't know the female or they weren't friends with me.  So, I can relate.

Move forward 2 years later.

One of my married friends lost his Dad and THEN his brother, only a week apart!

Since I had just lost my Mom, I was deeply affected by the thought of losing two loved ones.

Everyone on FB was commenting on his post and I said from my heart something like, "I am so sorry for your loss, Honey.  My heart is breaking for you."

I felt devastated for him.

Then a few days later I get a note on FB:  "I Would Appreciate It If You Would Not Refer To My Husband As Honey."

I was like, What??  I didn't respond to her, as I knew to just leave it be.  Instead, I talked to a few friends of mine about it and left it alone and just didn't post on his page anymore about ANYTHING.  Before this occurred, her husband had always been a friend of mine, but after that, he no longer communicated with me about anything.  I guess his wife said something to him about my use of the word Honey.

A month later, I saw them in person at an event.  I went right up to her and asked if I could talk to her.  She asked who I was (she had only seen me online) and I told her who I was and wanted to talk to her in private.

She immediately was rude to me and I told her, "All I wanted to do was apologize.  I meant no harm and I had just lost my Mom and felt very sad for your husband that he lost two relatives so close to each other."

"Well, you were out of line."

"Yes and I'm sorry."

After a few more words, I walked away VERY upset as she lashed into me (I can't even remember all that was said because I got so angry so quickly) but she touched a nerve when all I was trying to do was apologize.

I got on FB when I got home and blocked her and deleted him from FB.  He is no longer even cordial to me and has to ignore me. 

All because of the word HONEY.

Even though I really can relate.  All because of the word Honey.

Happiness and Experiences

I overheard a friend tell another friend that they read something very enlightening and inspiring.  I wanted to share because it touched me as deeply.

She said she recently read in a book that:

The happiest people aren't those who buy a lot of "things" or have a lot of "things" but instead, the happiest people are the ones who buy experiences.

I love this!

I imagine this to be things like, the ones who take trips and experience life and the outdoors.  DOING things not BUYING things.

Reminds me of my trip the Grand Canyon back in the Fall.  Or how I was raised as a child at the Frio River on weekends with my Mom.  :)  Or the many trips I took to play in big pool tournaments.  I've been blessed with many experiences and I AM a happy person! 

Give Yourself the Best Chance at a Happy Life

I'm not doing well lately with negative, pessimistic people, selfish.  Patience is low for some reason.

Life is short and all some people do is bitch, whine, cause drama, talk about others, are selfish, complain about the same sh!t, and are insensitive.

Life is to be lived to the fullest.

Be grateful you are alive and have an opportunity to experience living!

Give yourself the best chance at a happy life and be more grateful.

These little things that people bitch about are so minor  compared to the big things in life that could really be happening to them.  Perspective goes a long way.

And gratitude.

Don't know why people are annoying more than usual, though, lately.  All I know is it makes me not to want to be around them!

Luckily I have very positive friends I can be around.  :)

Death Timing

While death can happen at any time, at any age, I have noticed something that is very obvious: 

In my teens, most of the people who pass away were the Grandfathers and Grandmothers. 

In my 30s, the people who mostly passed away were my parents and people of their age.

I'm in shock right now today because it's finally happening... I'm at the age where people around me close to my age are passing away!  :(

I always knew this day would come, but losing a coworker today who is only a few years older than myself, is hitting close to home, close to the heart.

Birthday Surprise

One of my dear friends celebrated her birthday at a local favorite restaurant and ten of her closest friends were invited.

We all showed up, had a great time, gave her gifts, and had many wonderful laughs together!  She loved her gifts and her cards and genuinely was SO appreciative!

We surprised her by ordering her a little dessert and she seemed very pleased. 

She saw us talk to the waitress, so I *think* she knew we were going to get her a dessert, but I also saw her talk to the waitress.  I figured she was trying to stop it, lol!

As the dinner ended, 4 of her friends tried to claim her meal and drinks on their tabs.

"Put hers on my tab."

"No, mine!" another would try and tell the waitress, lol.

We were all trying to buy her birthday dinner for her!  It was a free-for-all lol!

We didn't know who would get her tab, we were all just happy she wouldn't be paying for her own meal and drinks on her special day. 

When the bill comes, none of us get a bill.

What?

Birthday girl then tells us a story, as she hands her credit card to the waitress (who rushes off), "I went to church on Sunday, and this little boy who was six years old was celebrating his birthday.  For his birthday, he gave God $20.  I was so moved a six year old boy would give money to God for his birthday, I thought, "I want to do something like that too.""

"So, today for my birthday, I'm treating YOU ALL.  If he can be so selfless at his age, I can too."

We were all shocked! Ten people, food AND drinks.  That's a hefty bill for anyone any day of the week.  And to pay for it on her OWN birthday!  Wow, left me speechless.  I've never seen anything like that on someone's birthday before.

I HAD to write about this because I was SO moved.  Moved by a six year old boy, and moved by my beautiful, amazing friend with a huge, huge heart.

The Other Side of the Coin

I wrote back in early September about how low I was feeling.  My self esteem was shot and I had been told all these things were wrong with me.

A dear friend read that post and immediately wrote to me.

I want to share what he wrote because I know a few of my friends should really hear these words and absorb them.  It was very helpful to me and I know it will be enlightening to you, also.

I just HAD to share.

"The reason I'm writing you is because I just read your blog entry "I am Who I Am" and it broke my heart. There is nothing wrong with any of the stuff that you listed.  What is wrong, is that someone else, who presumably was supposed to have your best interests at heart, didn't consider ensuring your happiness and providing you with reassurance a high enough priority to comply with that.  In other words, the other person wasn't worth your time.

In a loving, functional relationship, the other person's feelings should be the top priority of both individuals involved.  And, if that person doesn't consider those things important, then you simply need to surround yourself with people who do, and not waste your time with people who don't.

Stop thinking that your way of being drives people away because the last time I checked, it also draws people to you as well!!   Rather, find someone who feels as you do, because there is nothing wrong with you!!!  Lord knows that you "checking in" every once in a while would definitely be worth all of the other incredible benefits associated with being around you and being loved by you."

I am so flattered by this email.  I read it 100 times; it helped me each and every of those 100 times.

I am doing much better now!  :)  And I am so happy knowing I am in a better place in my life.  :)

I also appreciate all my friends who love my unconditionally!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Hurt Quote

"Hurt is often mistaken for anger. 85% of the time, a person isn't actually mad at you but instead, disappointed..."

Death Should be Given Attention Too

"We have to prepare ourselves for our death with the same care and attention as our parents prepared themselves for our births."

"In our culture, which in so many ways is death oriented, we find little if any creative support for preparing ourselves for a good death.  Most people presume that our only desire is to live longer on this earth.  "

I thought these were well-stated comments about death, from henrinouwen.org

What did you Gain? Weight or Other Things?

I really love this blog entry one of my friends shared:

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/    
(PLEASE take a quick moment to read it)

It reminds me of another from my good friend Rachel along the same lines, where she was worried about the size of her thighs, and then noticed a a homeless man on the streets.  Puts things into perspective.

Beautiful Relationships

I have heard my whole life, you should be with someone who complements you and brings out the best in you.

Until that happens, you have no idea just how absolutely beautiful that really is.

And how awesome it feels.

To be told "you bring out the best in me" and at the same time to see that someone wants to ONLY bring out the positive side of myself, is one of the most beautiful things I have experienced.

And it's not just being NOT around negative people.

It's about surrounding yourself with supportive people, encouraging people, people that do not WANT to hurt you, ever.

To be in a relationship where we each complement each other is truly amazing and I'm at a loss for words how to even describe it or why it's so awesome.  I guess because we each feel special; because we bring out the best in each other.  I mean seriously, HOW COOL IS THAT?

Enjoying life together.
Wanting to be together.
Supporting each other.
Recognizing each others' attributes and bringing them out.

If you are lucky enough to find someone who complements you, and you them, then you are very blessed!

I have this now.  And it is AMAZING.  Waited my whole life for this, and it was well worth the wait.  :)

Honoring Fallen Soldier

I would have been bawling!

Heck, I cried just reading about it.

Flight turns unforgettable when passengers learn of fallen soldier:

http://travel.yahoo.com/ideas/fallen-soldier-213011521.html

 

 

What you see is not what is going on.

My girlfriend posted this for me.  Thought I'd share.  This is a good reminder for a lot of us:


For whomever needs this today: 

Just something to think about...

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? 

Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? 

Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most?  (me, me)

Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me. 

Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. 

Not Orphaned

I mentioned to someone a few months back that the first two years after my Mom's death (in 2011) was pretty tough on me.

This person already knew I also lost my Dad in 2007.

They proceed to tell me, "I feel so bad for you you lost both of your parents.  You must feel like an orphan!"  And then she hugged me, almost in tears.

I just stood there receiving the hug, then quickly left.

I do NOT feel like an orphan!  I am NOT an orphan.

Who thinks like that?

Gratitude Journal - Secret to Happiness?

I started one.  I sometimes jot down 5 things about my day for what I am grateful for.  It's not a habit yet, but I do enjoy being grateful - helps even on the darkest of days.  And makes good days even better.


"The Shocking Truth About YOUR Level of Happiness:"
http://wendykeller.com/featured/the-shocking-truth-about-your-level-of-happiness/

I would LOVE to really make this a habit!

Oprah has talked about how powerful gratitude journals are.  And I believe it, also.  Here is another short article from Oprah with more reason why it helps:  Click Here.

Breath Quote

 

You would think this is a beautiful quote.  Well, it probably is to a lot of people.  But to me, I despise it.

When you see a loved one suffer and then pass away from advanced emphysema (which basically means they are constantly out of breath and can't breathe), then these type of quotes actually upset me.

Wearing an oxygen line on your face 24 hours a day, having to sleep upright (because you can't sleep flat), having to only be in cold temps (because hot weather makes breathing very difficult), can't walk the length of a room in a house without having to stop and try to catch your breath while finding something to lean on while gasping, constantly having to take "breathing treatments," never being able to take deep breaths or even laugh long.....  Yea, it's not a very "beautiful" quote to me.

I'd rather my Mom had been able to breathe than any moment that took my breath away.

Call me selfish.

I Am Who I Am

You know, I'd like to think that this is true, but lately, I only apologize for who I am. 

I tried to make changes, I did!  No one else did.

I apologized for being the way I am; no one else did.

I am who I am, tho.

• People confuse curiosity for jealousy; 
• Confuse worrying about their safety to having to "check in;" 
• Confuse wishing others care about your whereabouts for being too needy;
• Confuse worrying late at night because of drunk drivers for being a bitch;
• Confused wishing for contact and communication to being smothering.

I am who I am.

I can't help the way I was brought up; the way I truly am.  I feel so badly that the way I am pushes people away.  But I'm not given any slack for being me.  I'm only being beaten up mentally and emotionally for being, well, Me.

I don't think it's right to lose self esteem because I can't change who I am.  And ironically, I worked on myself!

But I guess it wasn't enough.

I am the way I am because of the way I was raised; because of what I saw with my eyes my entire life.

I tried to change.  More than I ever did before!

And I asked for help, even.  But I wasn't given help.  Instead, I was ridiculed, and people just got upset with me for how I acted instead of helping and understanding.   :(

I am not suppose to apologize for who I am, but when people don't love you because of the way you are, what are you suppose to do with that information?

My self esteem is SHOT.

And I freaking hate it that this has happened.

I am a decent human being with some issues, but I don't think I should be punished for the way I am.  I can't help it; and I even tried and improved!

Instead, it gets thrown in my face of all the "bad" things this person thinks I am.  Really?  Can't remember the good times?  Can't remember the fun times? 

I'm shattered by your words and actions....

Another Celebtriy House

I shared below how I loved Brittany Spears new house that was showcased.  I found another!

Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady's Los Angeles home:

I love the soft colors and the bright rooms!

Nice colors.

Beautiful and bright!

Love this bathroom and shower!

 

Is that a moat?  Wow!

Addiction

I'm not expert, but I have seen this, and I think for the most part, it's true without help:

Addiction to drugs, alcohol, food is so much stronger than addiction to love.

If someone chooses doing those over loving you, realize it's the drug of choice winning the fight for your attention.  They still love you, love is strong (yes!), but that addiction can be more powerful.

I'm not saying it's right or that this make your heart hurt less; but, it's just the way it is most of the time.

So, don't take it personal.  You did all you can; it's not you!  It's the addiction to the other stuff that is controlling them.

If you are lucky enough to have someone feel this way about you, or feel about them, like this song resonates, you are lucky/blessed:  Addicted to a person.

Because of You, by Ne-Yo

"Because Of You"

[Verse 1:]
Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

Ain’t no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you

Because of you,
And it’s all because of you,
Never get enough
She’s the sweetest drug, she’s the sweetest drug

True Love

I have always heard that people who are truly in love, they don't want to live without their soul mate, and sometimes they pass away shortly after they have lost a loved one.

But this story, is even more beautiful:

Harold and Ruth Knapke, Married 65 Years, Die 11 Hours Apart:

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/harold-ruth-knapke-married-65-years-die-11-184517152.html

One Woman Show

One of my bucket-list items is to see Oprah in person at one of her tapings.  With The Oprah Show now gone, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance.

Well, hello Life Class!

Oprah is coming to the Dallas-area for a taping of one of her LifeClasses. 

I was all excited, might finally get to a taping with Ms. O!

Then I saw the subject:  "Bringing Families Together."

Specifically, Is too much dram destroying your family?  Are you disconnected from your family?

Well, nix that.  I don't have a family.