Liked Versus Respected

A friend of mine was  reading something the other day - a reminder - and it said this "it is nice to be liked, but I think I would prefer to be respected first - then liked."

It is a great lesson for those of us who try to be TOO nice - so liberating to not worry about being liked and to just be myself - that should be good enough for some people.

Striking Similar Stores - Windshield Deaths

This was HUGE news back in 2002, and I lived in Fort Worth and every where I went out of state, people would mention this lady's name and what she did:

Texan let man die in her broken windshield:

http://www.mazeministry.com/incorrect/chante/chante.htm

And now this happened in 2012!  At least they got the same sentence (roughly 50 years):

Woman who drove with dying man on car gets prison: 

http://news.yahoo.com/woman-drove-dying-man-car-gets-prison-193050640.html

I feel so badly for all involved.  I know they were scared and didn't want to go to jail, but in the end, they did anyway, and two people died.  :(

Keep it to Yourself for Now

Seems like some friends evidently think I'm selfish.

But seeing that I have been a caretaker for most of my life, I admit I am getting tired of all the crap I'm getting for not being there for them, and other expectations of me...  some of which I didn't know anything about until they expressed to me how disappointed they are with me and me not being there for them.

Like I don't have enough crap going on with myself and now I feel even worse.

If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it about me, to me.  I can't handle anymore.

I have enough going on.

It's not that I don't want to be there for my friends, but if I'm not there for you and your expectations (which I knew nothing about til they made me feel bad), then I am truly sorry.  I just have a lot going on right now and can barely keep myself alive, much less be there for my friends and all these things I was expected to do.

Sorry if I'm sounding selfish, but there are times in our lives where we NEED to be selfish because we have put everyone else first for so many years.  And going through depression, it isn't in my being to even help others like they expect right now.

I can barely function as it is.

Please, though, don't make me feel bad by telling me I have disappointed you.    I can't handle any more.  Really.  I feel like I'm being kicked while I'm already down.

Maya

Her words of wisdom were undeniable.

Like these:

If You Want to Change the World, a Speech

10 Life Lessons From A Navy Seal

Naval Admiral William H. McRaven returned to his alma mater last week and spoke to the graduates with lessons he learned from his basic SEAL training.

Here’s his amazing Commencement Address at University of Texas at Austin 2014 from Business Insider can be read by clicking HERE.

Enjoy.

 

The One That Got Away

Struggling.

My heart misses.  My mind is in a fight with my heart.

All the good times, do they outweigh the bad times?

Only time will tell.

Humblebrag

I think I'm guilty of this!

Just heard of this word for the first time today.

From Urban Dictionary:

humblebrag

Subtly letting others now about how fantastic your life is while undercutting it with a bit of self-effacing humor or "woe is me" gloss. 

"Uggggh just ate about fifteen piece of chocolate gotta learn to control myself when flying first class or they'll cancel my modelling contract LOL :) #humblebrag"

To Be In Love

I love this quote about couples from Angelina Jolie, talking about Brad Pitt:

"You get together and you're two individuals and you feel inspired by each other, you challenge each other, you complement each other, drive each other beautifully crazy," she says. "After all these years, we have history – and when you have history with somebody, you're friends in such a very real, deep way that there's such a comfort, and an ease, and a deep love that comes from having been through quite a lot together." 

 

 

I took a funny little test on the Internet to find out what "spice" I am.

No, not like the Spice girls, lol.

This is the result:

You Are

Sage

You're the type of person who has already learned a lot from living. For you, life has been a character building exercise. Your dream is to live a life you cherish. You don't want to waste time on things that don't matter. You are always observing and thinking. You appear calm and self-possessed to the outside world. You are concerned with inner beauty. You think once we understand ourselves, we are beautiful on the inside.

Telling the Truth, and You Still Aren't Believed

I couldn't say the above any better.

When you tell the truth and someone close to you doesn't believe you, what can you do to convince them??  It's very frustrating to not be believed.  And I don't know what to do about it.

I'm at a loss.

A hurtful loss.

It's very frustrating to try and defend yourself even though you are telling the truth.

It actually upsets me very much I'm not being believed!

And I can't say words loud enough to express how truthful I am.

And I can't use any more words than truth, honesty, swearing on my Mom's grave, etc.

I don't lie about important things in my life, and important things that impact others.  It's not even in my nature!

I'm so very hurt and sad.

And I have no idea what to do about this.

What sucks is, others are hurting because they think I'm lying. So, we are BOTH hurting.  :(

I really don't know what to do.

I'm at such of a loss right now.  For the first time, there is no solution to something.  I've always thought there are solutions to things, but there is none to this one.  Either you are believed or not.  And I can express from my heart how much I'm telling the truth, but it doesn't work.  :(

While this may seem minor.  "So what, you know you told the truth."

It's not that simple.

I AM telling the truth.  I am NOT being believed.  And I've now lost a friend over it.

:(

So, I don't care how *I* feel, I care how the other person feels.

5 valuable life lessons we could all learn from Nelson Mandela.

1. You are responsible for your life
“I am the master of my fate and the captain of my destiny.” ~ Nelson Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela knew that you are responsible for your life, and you have to take control of your steering wheel and take it where you want to go. You. No matter how many genuine excuses you may have. It boils down to you.
We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right. You can’t have whatever you want in life if you are not in charge and can’t account for the 24 hours you are given daily. There are a lot of resources to help you with time management.
2. Education is power
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ~ Nelson Mandela
Education was very important to Nelson Mandela.
Finish school, go back to school, enroll in that community college or university. I know going to school is just not the thing to do, but it really helps. When I’m faced by hardships now, I draw on the strength I got while doing a Masters degree several years ago. The program was so tough and challenging and I know if I did that, I can pretty much do a lot of things.
Or help Malala Yousafzai educate girls by reading more about her and her organization The Malala Fund.
3. Look at the bright side of things
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being an optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
Looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty will help you navigate life.
4. Live on purpose
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This quote really affected me. It’s not about me getting a six pack, getting married and having a fantastic wedding with tigers and elephants, it’s not about me taking fantastic vacations with my husband…it’s not about me buying all Apple products and having the latest Iphone 5, 6,7 and so one. All these things are good but Nelson Mandela wanted people to actually touch and make a difference in someone’s life.-
5. One can overcome poverty
“Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity; it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This article was written by Anita King

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Thought I'd share:

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

Some Choices are no Accident

When I was given the worst news of my life, that my Mom was not going to live much longer, and she would need to be moved to hospice, I was sitting there alone having to fill out paperwork and make decisions that at the time were a blur.

The lady that met with me was SUPER nice and supportive as she could be to a stranger.

She asked me, "Where do you want to move your Mom?"

"What?"  I asked her through tears, and a running nose, and a shy, confused voice.

I was not really understanding the question.

She said that there were two hospice locations.  Once was right next door to the hospital, the other was in downtown Fort Worth.

I said, "The one next door please," because I figured it would be easier on my Mom (even though she wasn't conscious), and because this way my neighbors could visit her easily, also.

Then she shares, "Well, just so you know all the rooms are filled there, but there may be an opening by tomorrow."

Huh?

I thought about it and said, "Well, then we will have to move her to the one downtown.  Can you give me the address and directions please?"

I didn't want my mom to stay any longer in this cold, lonely hospital than she had to.

The nice lady told me it would be a few hours before transportation came and picked up my Mom to take her to the hospice location downtown.

I spent time with Mom and eventually they came to get her.  I ran home quickly to get some things and then arrived ahead of Mom at the location.  I wanted to be there waiting on her and didn't want her to be alone one single minute.  Even though, again, she wasn't even awake and could not longer talk to me or even communicate in any way with me, I still didn't want her to arrive alone to this new place. 

I arrived at the place about 4pm, and sat with my Mom, talked to her, held her hand, cried my little heart out for hours.  About 9:45pm, Mom took her last breath.  It was the hardest thing to witness, but it was BEAUTIFUL because I was there by her side.

I was the love of her life.  And that was her wish - for her to be pain-free in hospice with me by her side.

I left the place in a blur. 

Of course I took off from work for a few days and only came in finally because I couldn't stand to be in the house alone anymore.

I got to my desk, started to lazily check email.  Within minutes, I started to daydream.  I looked out my window and just stared toward the window, not really looking at anything.

Then something caught my eye.

OH MY GOD.

I can see from my desk, right out my window, the building where my Mom was resting peaceful when she passed!

You might think this is morbid, but it is not.  It's the last place my Mom and I were together.  Just her and I.  Peaceful.  Beautiful.

I actually drive by this building a lot I would find out in the next two years.  Every time I go to the movies, I drive by it.  Every time I go get my nails done, I drive by it.

It is on my way to this little area called Montgomery Plaza and I go there for different things at least once a month or more.

Every time I drive by, I blow my Mom a kiss.  Every time.

Every time I drive by, I tear up.  Every time.

On my birthday just last month I happened to drive by the building that day and it made me smile and cry, because I miss her so much (esp on special occasions).

I am now thankful that other place was full.  I would never in a million years would have know beforehand that this building was visible from my office.  But I am thankful.  And blessed.

I LOVE YOU, MOM!!

Dog Love

I was having a rough day the other day and there I was in bed, crying.

Many women find themselves alone in bed crying at tough times in their lives.

I was pretty lucky, blessed, and fortunate though as my dog, Lily, was laying on the bed with me.  She looked up at me, as if she knew I was hurting and she snuggled toward me so I could hug her.

It was beautiful.

And amazing.

And comforting.

If you do not have pets, then you are prolly thinking "GROSS a dog on your bed??"

If you have pets, then you know EXACTLY what I'm saying and can even relate.

The thing is, I didn't realize how powerful the love from a dog can be until I got Lily.

And as I reflect back, the words from my Mom kinda haunt me right now.

I didn't know what she was talking about the last couple years of her life.  But now I do.

My Mom lost her beloved dog about 2 months after my Dad passed.  She was heartbroken!

I moved her to live with me in a town 5 hours away because she couldn't live by herself anymore.

She talked about getting a collie (the type of dog she has had most of her life, and that's all I recall growing up with), so we researched for shelties and we got her Izzy.

This is Izzy at Christmas

While Izzy is a GREAT (and previous showdog!) she was what we described as "skittish."  She would run away from you when you called her name or tried to reach out to her.  It was actually very frustrating.

Izzy loved Mom very much and my Mom loved her, but in the beginning, Izzy wouldn't get on my Mom's bed.  This went on for a few weeks and finally my Mom said, "I want a new dog."

WHAT?  I was livid!

"How can you want a new dog?" I gasped with shock.

Eventually, Izzy started to jump up on her bed and all was well in the world.

However, I was the human who fed Izzy and so she warmed up to me more.  She would follow me around the house and my Mom noticed.

Mom got jealous.

"Looks like Izzy is your dog now, I want a new dog."

OMG.  

WHAT?!

So, I started to ignore little Izzy so she would show more attention to my Mom and it worked.

Mom would have long hospital stays about 2-3 times a year and every time she would come back home, it would take a while for Izzy to get used to jumping back onto the bed with my Mom.

My Mom would frown and be sad and tell me, "I want a new dog."

My heart would break but I would also get upset at how she always wanted a new dog for some reason!

Well, now I know the reason.

And now I'm heartbroken about it.

I look into Lilly's eyes as she's on the bed with me and I talk to her.  I tell her how much I wish my Mom would have met her and been alive to see Lily and be around her.  Lily is EXTREMELY loving and Mom would have LOVED her.

Here is Lily and I

It breaks my heart that I didn't really HEAR my Mom.  While I love Izzy, she isn't a snuggle dog.  My Mom could have really used Lily.  :(

And Lily would have loved on her, snuggled with her, and been the companion my Mom so desperately needed while I was at work all day long.  Lily would have been her friend.  :(

Lily has been an amazing source of comfort for me.  It truly breaks my heart when I see how helpful Lily is to me, that she could have been helpful to my Mom.

Looking in her eyes, seeing her warmth.  That one blue and one brown eye.

I have told Lily that sometimes, I think my Mom's soul is in her, and that is why she is comforting me.  But then I wonder if Lily was born before or after my Mom's passing (Lily is a foster dog so I'm not 100% sure, but I know it's about around the same time frame).

I wish my Mom would have had Lily.

Izzy copies Lily now (which is pretty cool to see!) and she acts just like her!  So, Izzy now runs to me (instead of away from me), talks to me like Lily does, and even plays more now that Lily is in the house.

Another pic of Izzy after she got shaved!  My Mom never saw Izzy shaved but I think she would have been thrilled!

Izzy does not climb stairs for whatever reason, and so she does not come up the stairs and get on my bed, but I see her watch Izzy tromp up the stairs and I wonder, "Is Izzy jealous?  Does Izzy wish she would have jumped on Mom's bed more?"

I miss my Mom with all my heart.

And, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you, Mom.  I now know what you meant.  I wish I would have got my you a "snuggle" dog or you would have had Lily to snuggle with."

It really breaks my heart.  :(

Dogs are very amazing, comforting animals.

Movie Buff (but not via DVD)

I LOVE watching movies.  I'd rather watch a movie than a sitcom. 

And normally, I'd rather watch a movie I have seen before!  I can re-watch some movies over and over and over again.  No end in sight. 

I also go to the movie theater a lot.  I used to go about once a week, now maybe once or twice a month.  But I LOVE seeing movies in the movie theater (if they have good nachos and/or queso, especially - lol). 

I look forward to movies in the theatres!

And when I scroll through the channels at home looking for something to watch or for background noise, I'm praying a good movie is on!

What's really weird is I do NOT watch movies on DVD.  I inherited about 500 DVDs from my Dad and even though I liked his genre, I only watched one of them (the new King Kong).  So, there I was with 500 DVDs, but would still search my channels on TV for a movie to watch. 

I just don't like to watch movie DVDs for some reason.

Here are examples of movies I could watch over and over, even if they came on every week:

Gladiator
The Mummy
Shrek
Shrek 3
A Few Good Men
Unfaithful
You've Got Mail
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Taking Lives
Mr. Brooks
Ice Age 3
Skyfall
The Avengers
Deja Vue
The Bone Collector
The Holiday
The Incredibles
Training Day

Just to name a few....

Life is too Short to be Anything but Happy

Good reminder I came across today:

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. 

Quote:
"Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us. "

Honey and Dear

I have been recently baffled by the claws that come out when a female uses common, everyday words to a male, when that male has a significant other.

A friend of mine calls ALL her friends (guys or girls) "Honey" when she texts them or comments on their posts on FB.  When she uses that verb, she's just being friendly and nice.  She has a HUGE heart and she's indicating her care for another person when she uses the word.  It does NOT mean she wants to be with the person.... AT ALL.  She's just really nice.

She texted a male friend about an event coming up with their work.  She said something like, "Hey Honey, are you bringing that table to event on Tuesday?"  She meant no disrespect and was only trying to find the answer for her boss.

Later that night, she received an answer: "My wife doesn't appreciate you calling me Honey so please don't text me again.  Yes, I'm bringing the table."

My friend was taken aback because she meant no harm or disrespect, she was just being herself, honestly. 

I tried to explain that using that word to a married man whether intentional or not is not well received by some females.

I suppose if I think about all this, because I myself am greener than most people, I would also prolly get upset if a pretty female called my husband or boyfriend "honey."  Especially if I didn't know the female or they weren't friends with me.  So, I can relate.

Move forward 2 years later.

One of my married friends lost his Dad and THEN his brother, only a week apart!

Since I had just lost my Mom, I was deeply affected by the thought of losing two loved ones.

Everyone on FB was commenting on his post and I said from my heart something like, "I am so sorry for your loss, Honey.  My heart is breaking for you."

I felt devastated for him.

Then a few days later I get a note on FB:  "I Would Appreciate It If You Would Not Refer To My Husband As Honey."

I was like, What??  I didn't respond to her, as I knew to just leave it be.  Instead, I talked to a few friends of mine about it and left it alone and just didn't post on his page anymore about ANYTHING.  Before this occurred, her husband had always been a friend of mine, but after that, he no longer communicated with me about anything.  I guess his wife said something to him about my use of the word Honey.

A month later, I saw them in person at an event.  I went right up to her and asked if I could talk to her.  She asked who I was (she had only seen me online) and I told her who I was and wanted to talk to her in private.

She immediately was rude to me and I told her, "All I wanted to do was apologize.  I meant no harm and I had just lost my Mom and felt very sad for your husband that he lost two relatives so close to each other."

"Well, you were out of line."

"Yes and I'm sorry."

After a few more words, I walked away VERY upset as she lashed into me (I can't even remember all that was said because I got so angry so quickly) but she touched a nerve when all I was trying to do was apologize.

I got on FB when I got home and blocked her and deleted him from FB.  He is no longer even cordial to me and has to ignore me. 

All because of the word HONEY.

Even though I really can relate.  All because of the word Honey.

Happiness and Experiences

I overheard a friend tell another friend that they read something very enlightening and inspiring.  I wanted to share because it touched me as deeply.

She said she recently read in a book that:

The happiest people aren't those who buy a lot of "things" or have a lot of "things" but instead, the happiest people are the ones who buy experiences.

I love this!

I imagine this to be things like, the ones who take trips and experience life and the outdoors.  DOING things not BUYING things.

Reminds me of my trip the Grand Canyon back in the Fall.  Or how I was raised as a child at the Frio River on weekends with my Mom.  :)  Or the many trips I took to play in big pool tournaments.  I've been blessed with many experiences and I AM a happy person! 

Give Yourself the Best Chance at a Happy Life

I'm not doing well lately with negative, pessimistic people, selfish.  Patience is low for some reason.

Life is short and all some people do is bitch, whine, cause drama, talk about others, are selfish, complain about the same sh!t, and are insensitive.

Life is to be lived to the fullest.

Be grateful you are alive and have an opportunity to experience living!

Give yourself the best chance at a happy life and be more grateful.

These little things that people bitch about are so minor  compared to the big things in life that could really be happening to them.  Perspective goes a long way.

And gratitude.

Don't know why people are annoying more than usual, though, lately.  All I know is it makes me not to want to be around them!

Luckily I have very positive friends I can be around.  :)

Death Timing

While death can happen at any time, at any age, I have noticed something that is very obvious: 

In my teens, most of the people who pass away were the Grandfathers and Grandmothers. 

In my 30s, the people who mostly passed away were my parents and people of their age.

I'm in shock right now today because it's finally happening... I'm at the age where people around me close to my age are passing away!  :(

I always knew this day would come, but losing a coworker today who is only a few years older than myself, is hitting close to home, close to the heart.