How Would that Benefit Me?

I mentioned last month something I learned from a therapist.

I have shared a few things from watching a therapist on a tv show, too. I just love when hearing a sentence really resonates with me, surprises me, or helps me.

And I'm going to share another one today.

A friend of mine goes to a masseuse regularly and she confided she kind of gets a therapy session while she's there because her masseuse gives great advice.

I completely agree with her advice for my friend about how to deal with people you don't get along with, especially after this story that I'm about to share with you.

My friend struggled a lot with a co-worker that she did not get along with. The co-worker took a lot of things wrong, assumed the worst, and they didn't really get along.

The co-worker recently left the company after about 20+ years there. My friend felt some relief that she was gone, even though deep down inside she felt a little guilty about having those feelings.

She told her therapist a couple of weeks later, err, I mean told her masseuse, that she felt like reaching out to this girl to see how she was doing.

And her masseuse replied (omg check this out!), "How will that benefit you?"

I immediately reacted with shock and fascination with her question. I thought it was quite beautiful and extremely smart. My friend agreed.

After a long pause from my friend, the masseuse then asked, "And how are you going to feel if she doesn't respond to your text? What if she doesn't reply to you?"

Which I also thought was a great question!  But it was the first question that was pretty profound for me.

So, what did my friend do?  Although she really did want to reach out to her and see how she was doing, those great questions made her realize that it was probably best to leave the ex-coworker alone. The co-worker didn't like her much nor get along with her, so she may not have even replied, which would have hurt my friend.

I think she made the right decision.

Let's go back to he question. Think about something that you might want to do that you are already wondering if you should or not because the person you are dealing with has been rude to you or is mean to you. Then ask yourself, "How would that benefit me?"

I think that question will help a lot of us!