Happier

This is SO difficult for me to describe, but I will try. I have told about a half dozen friends about this and still do not know how to describe it, though.

Back in June, I was talking to a friend and I said, "all I wish was for him to be happy." I was speaking of one of my ex's. It then donned on me right then and there that I never wished that for myself. "Hmmm...." I reflected. I have said that before about my ex's, but this time it resonated (loudly!) that I could been thinking this way about myself.

I have actually said this my whole life to my Mom and about my Mom, "all I want is for you to be happy, Mom," but it never donned on me I could relate this to myself. Is that because I was already very happy? Or is it something we don't think about about ourselves?

I am a very happy person, do what I want to do, live life to the fullest, love my job, help others as much as much as I can, and appreciate my blessings, but yet, was I really doing extra things for myself that could make me even happier?

I can't begin to be able to describe the difference on this day - the day I wanted for ME to be happy.

This realization was truly eye opening. I have had goals in life and have achieved them; I have a great life (I think) and yet I still never said that about me (why would we say that about ourselves?).

Could I be even happier because of this profound moment?

Well, in addition to continuing to be happy and living life to the fullest, I thought of three things that I could work on/do that would make me even happier. While it's tough for me to fathom "happier," it is happening. An interesting result has occurred - I am having more fun because I'm happier about the success of these three things I am working on, which leads to me to truly being happier.

I still don't think I explained this well....

And if this blog post comes across as selfish, vain, arrogant, whatever, that is not my intention. This truly has been a wonderful realization for me, and I think also for those around me who have witnessed this important "transformation." Being happier is one thing, seeing happiness on a person is one thing, but smiling more and enjoying life is another.